to find someone who you can truly confide in? Through my life, I’ve met a ton of people and made a ton of friends. I consider them my ‘real’ friends whom I can talk to about anything. However, with time, they’ve each proven me wrong. I just want someone. Someone who can actually keep secrets. Who actually gives a damn about me. Who actually genuinely cares about my problems. <p>
Shit, all I’ve ever wanted in life was to have that one person whom you can fall back on, knowing they’ll catch you. Knowing they’ll have your back through thick and thin. I can’t find […]
I have been so pissed off all day and i’m not over exaggerating. Im getting sick and tired of people using me, abusing me, and making me feel like nothing and im sorry.. yea.. im sorry. im just gonna like.. emotionally detatch myself from everything. you know, my depression is getting bad again. I am regressing into a deeper depression than i was before. and i can feel it not only in my mind but in my heart.. and its killing me. my meds are making me crzy… and .. i just dont know anymore.I wanted to try and be happy but everything just keeps […]
(I) IS THE EGO MAKER the false self (i am just is) to write what 1 thinks dont matter anymore bcuz 1 knows it is in the being the silence of nothing that i find myself as free immortal love primordial energy although i have chosen to loose myself and be a trolling bstad to survive i get angry and frustrated from that bliss i used to be my heart broke this is what causes me to want to suicide and i am very capable as i have done it b4 and was saved i live for other 1s there attachment and love to me […]
Every day, I see beautiful people around me. People with straight, pearly white teeth. People with skin as soft as satin and blemish free. They have everything in their hands, and they know it. Even I have to admit that beautiful people have the upper hand in life, because, hell, who doesn’t like looking at a pretty face?
My skin is disgusting compared to theirs. It’s spotted with scars. Trust me, scabies and a skin picking problem do not go well together. Now the scabies are gone, but the scars and scabs have been there for two years.
It’s almost as if God has decided that I […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxPj3GAYYZ0
“would you know my name if i saw you in heven”
rip to
tom royle marens ika shot in the chest a frend of a frend is a frend of mine
lans corp “head” kia ied my dear frand and felow spec ops sloger see you soon
pt “hanabul” kia ied wash your fucking socks you smeley **** hugs and kissis
st “shoutey” kia shot in head well sarg im in your place now so there love you rely
pt “hulk” stw shot in lower ab bled out love you man just dont hug me you still stink of swet probs
jake suicide you shot your self infrot of me i love you and i under stand why you did it
katey suicide […]
I hate it when people say: ‘suicide isn’t the answer, life gets better’…..
(if suicide isn’t the answer then someone plz tell me what the f#ck the answer is
my life isn’t guaranteed to get better believe me my life can get worst )
I hate it when people say: ‘people who commit suicide are cowards’
(people who commit suicide are some of the bravest people yet I bet if people had to put up with half the things suicidal people go through they’d go crazy)
I hate it when people say: ‘don’t kill yourself you have so much to live for’
(some people are poor, homeless, have no family , […]
Looking for stories that relate…
Im not sure if this is the one that shows up in the homepage
I fuckinfg hate everybody I hate where im from My poor dad got accused of a crime(sex offender) and I had to see him walk around with this fucked up look on his face for fucking years,till we moved from our old house, they even fucked up his truck the back of it sctartchted it up…He kept the same job for years. There was always this white van parked in front of my house I don’t know if someone parked it there on purpose,but I didn’t realize people ‘knew about my dad’ […]
Well I’m back again and glad to know I’m not pregnant but because of the scare he left me and I’m starting to regret that it happened. . . but I’m over it and I’m glad we are no longer together because surprisingly if i was he wasn’t going to be there for me or our child. During that time i had time to meditate and mature some more and realize i should just exclude everyone out my life and start over 🙂 even though i still have days i cut myself because of frustration I’m very much good and getting better thank you for […]
I don’t know what to do. I’m writing this and it’s all so sketchy. There are days I’m not paranoid and then there are days where I question if I should trust the world and my loved ones. I’m just a fucked up statement of life. I hate life and everything it consists of. I don’t wanna see the sun shining and the clouds passing by. I don’t wanna see the grass and the food we eat that in the majority is micro-processed. I feel so burdened with my thoughts, for they consume me entirely. I am not me anymore, I am a […]
Though you are my friend
My love for you will never end
Remembering that night
And god it felt so right
Your body pressed against mine
And boy did the moonlight shine
As I closed my eyes
And took slow breathes
You leaned down and kissed my neck
Not to fast
We made it last
There was no rush
There was just us
Every kiss I reminisce
The way your lips
Rubbed against my lips
There was love
I felt this
We took it slow
Not one moment did we miss
As you lay there on my chest
At that moment I felt so blessed
You […]
I’m a liar because I wont tell you everything. I’m stupid because sometimes im wrong. I’m ugly because my face isn’t perfect. I’m a push over because I like making people happy. I’m a loser because I’m a not friend with your group. I’m fake because I’m too nice. I’m weird because I’m not like you. I’m fat because I eat when I’m hungry. I’m clingy because I don’t like to be alone. I’m insecure because I care about what people think of me. I’m no fun because I’m not always hyper? Don’t try to tell me who I am BecauseI already know! </3
One day i sat in my room and had my music up, i thought i had locked my door and shut it, but it wasnt shut all the way… Well as i had a knife to my neck and my suicide note on my chest, my .. friend David comes in he coaches the knife away from me and when i dropped it i fell into his arms and cried and couldnt stop.. We talked about why i was trying to do it, many reasons.
Till this day, i owe him my life.. Thank you..<3
I have a reason to stay alive. I know nobody cares but for so long I barely lived with any reason but now I found him. He brings me pure happiness. For the first time I have a smile that is really mine. Behind closed eyelids no longer am I haunted with nightmares and worry but peace and knowing when I wake up he will be there right beside me. When I feel his warmth the coldness in my heart melts away and I am left feeling such strong love that it keeps my thoughts so far away and I can actually live. I am […]
Hey, I been writing a book about aboy who tried to shoot up his school but stopped becuase an teacher attacked him and locked him in his trunk.(<—– that's the main part of chapter one)
I have hand writed the frist 3 chapters before realizing I should write a chapter by chapter main objective and details to keep the book going along……..I did this for the first book
I also realized that after I typed it I became far smaller than I expected it to be (way shorter)
So I rewrote the first 4/40 pages handwritten (<—- the amount of pages I aming for per chapter….but […]
This isn’t going to be a long post…but if anyone else is dating a sociopath and is having difficult getting out, or if you have advice..please text me, I’m trying to get all the help and gain all the strength I can. <3
605-484-5094
i thought my arms were beautiful when they were covered in my art work. when they bled crimson red. when the blood would drip down my arms and steadily onto the floor. i loved the feeling of the rough horizontal lines i felt like a tiger <3. i loved the sharp pain i felt when digging and slicing my blade into my skin which parted and poured out blood. i miss the words that i can still see forever scarred onto my skin; breathe, love, crazy, no love. the words that describe me. the words that were so close to me that i […]
If you’ve read any of my other comments or my story, you know I’m a proponent of choosing life over death, and I think the words in this video kinda sum up why, in a way:
…that maybe what makes me stay is knowing that I can go whenever I want or feel like going!
…that that gives me Peace and Strenght to go on!
…that suicide thoughts matured me enough to look around like I was already dead!
…and that I feel like a spirit most of the time…
I’m happy this way, I don’t want to belong!
I’ll surf  Life’s waves as they approach me…
<3 u all, blahh
I lose myself in music when I don’t want to talk to people or face the world. However, music has been the thing most accompanied from my suicide attempts.
I remember every song for every time I tried to commit suicide.
1. You Only Live Once – Suicide Silence (the irony, I know.)
2. A Match Into Water – Pierce the Veil
3. If I’m James Dean, You’re Audrey Hepburn – Sleeping with Sirens
4. The Drug In Me Is You – Falling In Reverse
5. Miserable at Best – My Chemical Romance
6. CheaterCheaterBestFriendEater – Never Shout Never
7. A Trophy Father’s Trophy Son – Sleeping with Sirens
8. Baby Don’t Cut – […]
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