People don t understand how much I hate my life, I have secrets about it like how much everybody treats me like I don’t mean anything. I wasn’t so coward and went through with my suicide, I would have been the first person in my family to commit suicide. I’ve cut, I’ve tried to commit suicide over 5 times One day I’m going to I don’t know when or how but its going to happen.
Tag:
mean
For the past few months now my depression has been getting worse and worse and so has the suicidal thoughts. Enough so that I have attempted it a couple of times but it didn’t work. So I ordered some stuff to my uni flat which will mean it will definitely work. And I go back to my flat next week. I will finally be able to get of this place. I just have to get through this final week without attempting it a stupid way and then I will be able to go to my flat and end everything in peace.
I don’t understand what love is…
I understand when other people are in love and I thought I’ve been in love before but I don’t think it was real. The first person I ever told “I love you” to cheated on me with our best friend. Then the next person I said it to, when we were breaking up he said “I don’t think I ever actually loved you”. Then the next person fell in love with her best friend and left me because she actually loved her.
I don’t understand what I could be doing wrong for no one to just actually love me. In my […]
Sorry this is so long, but I’m so confused and heartbroken right now. I need advice/opinions.
This past weekend was a party at a friend’s house. MC (my friend that I love so deeply and can’t get over) was there, but I felt OK. I was OK when people were talking to J (MC’s fiancé) about what wedding dress she going to buy. Just to be safe though, I avoided MC. But after awhile it felt childish to be talking to everyone but him. So I said hello and we joked around a little. He was in a great mood, but he kept putting his face and hands very close […]
I’m tired – I don’t mean I want to go to sleep, I mean I’m tired of life.
I’m bored – I don’t mean that I’m bored of what we are doing right now, I mean I’m bored of everything and everyone in my life.
I want to leave – I don’t mean I want to leave the place we are in at this moment, I mean I want to leave my life and disappear.
I hate this – Not the thing that is currently going on, I mean fucking life.
REALLY CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SURE WISH I COULD HEAR GOD REALLY ,I KEEP READING AND READING THIS
by RAYSRVS
written by RAYSRVS
Is death truely what you believe to be God’s plan for you? I am hearing that God is calling you to find peace in your life but could that not mean for you to find the path to peace while in your life on earth through the pain. I KEEP TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OUT OF THIS THAT IS WHAT SOMEONE WROTE , I HAVE BEEN ASKING GOD TO TAKE AWAY THIS PAIN, BUT HE OR SHE IS NOT LISTENING OR TALKING TO MEEEEE FOR YEARS AND YEARS >>> SIGNED>>> STILLTRYINGTOCLICKWITHGOD, MAYBE I WILL MEET THE DUDE WHEN I EXPIRE […]
I don’t really know what’s going on with my life and the people in it ..
it’s just like karma or table turning .. or what’s goes around comes a round or just lying .. someone I worked really hard to .. and he was so mean and filled with hatred espicaly for me .. now he is so good to me .. and I just can’t believe him .!!!
is it me the one who gots something wrong with or what .!!
I was hurting. I still am, but I never meant to hurt anybody in the process..
when i say that i’m tired, i don’t just mean that i’m sleepy or strained; i mean i’m overwhelmed and at serious risk of going off the deep end.
i’ve done a bunch of stuff i’m not proud of, and i guess i don’t really wanna focus on that, but needless to say i’ve been in code red for the last two or three days; i’ve called the lifeline, mostly because i don’t know if i have friends who can stay up with me while i feel this way. but i reached out to a few close friends to see if they’ll help out.
…
update, they are […]
Goodnight sweetie.
Are there any monsters?
Nope.
In the closet?
All clear.
Under my bed?
Empty.
In my head?
Of course.
They want me dead.
I know.
Am I bad?
Of course not.
Then why am I sad?
Because.
Because what?
I don’t have an answer hon.
Well I’m all done.
Done with what?
The battle is over, the monsters won.
What do you mean?
They’ve already killed who I was.
This week. 1 arrest under the mental health act. 2 trips in a police car. 2 trips to the ED. 1 trip to the mental hospital.
I don’t mean to wallow in my own self pity, but, any chance of a hug.
Currently in the ED again waiting to be collected by mental health crisis team.
I didn’t mean for this to go as far as it did,
I didn’t mean to get so close and share what we did,
I didn’t mean to fall in love, but I did,
And you didn’t mean to love me back, but I know you did.
Which one hurts more? Being rejected or them not answering and ignoring you?
For me it’s not answering. With rejection you at least have an answer. You know they are not interested. But when they don’t answer what the hell does that mean? Are they repulsed by you? Do they not know? Did you scare them away? You have no clue what happened and you are thinking the worst. What did you do wrong? Are you not worth an answer? It’s a simple yes or a no… I don’t know is even better then not answering…What the fuck did I do to deserve no answer..?
We always mean to say more when our hands and nails are dug in. Settled on undressed beaches and distant shores sirens scream ever so softly so (before they force contact) with the nerve to say, this might produce the most lovely child.
My mind is distracted and the path doomed from the start.
I never knew you
I’ll never know you
I have this friend, for privacy reasons I’ll call her Jane.
Jane victimizes herself. If you don’t know what that mean, it basically means that in any situation she is always the victim. She’s the one who’s been wronged and she’s never wrong. Of course, that isn’t true, we’ve ALL been wrong at one point or another, but she just won’t admit it.
So at the moment we’re in a huge fight, and I really want to remain being friends with her, but she’s driving me insane. I have explained so many times why I’m mad, and she just doesn’t ‘get it’. She keeps telling me I’m […]
If we could love ourselves, we would not need others to love us. Then it becomes irrelevant whether others love us or not. Fine if they love us. Fine if they don’t love us. But how do we get there? How do you and I get there? What is it that others see in themselves, in the world, that we can’t? At what angles do we need to tilt our heads? What does it mean to love ourselves? How does it feel to love ourselves? If taking care of ourselves is not love, then what is? At what point in the road does care turn […]
My friend has just tried to commit because he likes me and i basically lead him on (I didn’t mean to).
If he succeeds then I don’t want to live anymore, I can’t handle the guilt of being responsible for another person ending their life. But I’m scared, I want a relatively painless way to die.
Update: he was unsuccessful, luckily. But I don’t know how to support him and be there for him as a fringed without him getting the wrong idea?
Since I was 6 years old I wanted to be like everyone else, I was always very shy, hated hanging out with guys cause they were mean to me, only girls were nice to me at the time. I felt inferior to everyone around me, I am very sensitive to everything and it just annoyed people because of it. My grades always sucked at school, I was stupid and sometimes just tried to annoy people cause people hated me anyways. I always felt like I am ugly, and hate mirrors or any reflection of any kind cause I can’t look at myself. Around 5th grade […]
…hi
could you please tell me what I’m doing here?
i don’t know what I’m doing here.
im in the same room as my little sister and mother.
I’m doing “homework” for my mock exams this week.
what I’m actually doing is using homework as an excuse to listen to music…
in 24 hours and 15 minutes ill be in the a mental health service place for youth…
and I’m scared.
i was recently referred but now I’m actually going I’m not too sure what to do.
what am i doing here?
and i don’t mean this site.
what i mean is get me the hell out of here please I’m a 15 year old boy […]
It’s hard for me to BE here…It’s hard to BE a person. I’ve been sad, hurting and lonely for so long, it’s changed me…… Forever. I don’t say the right things. I talk to much when I’m with “people,” because I’ve been desperately alone suffering for so long. I WAS a people person. People are mean. Life is mean. Kids are mean. Husbands are mean. I feel like I’m never good enough, there is a list being written. It’s a long list of my faults, of my mistakes, of my inadequacy. It’s like the damn Grocery List my family keeps adding to. It gets longer […]