i just have to. i cant not do it any longer. im going to cut. once again. the last time i cut was in early october. that was a really long time ago. at least it seems to me like it has been forever. every night i think about it. and i am CRAVING to do it. last night before i was going to sleep i was going to do it. but it was too close to the time my brother and mom wake up and i cant risk getting caught. my mom already wants me to do some psychiatric thing. i dont want to […]
Tag:
Medication
i feel so depressed. especially because im at home. i dont have the one person i wish was with me. i saw her today(my best friend that is). my parents wanted me to go to the store with them, but this morning i told my mom i dont wanna go anywhere. and when they left i went right to her house. but i feel sooo bad for what did. i enable her. soo much. and i hate it. she is an addict. even though its hard for me to say that and it breaks my heart to know that. its true though. and i am […]
its hard to hear others tell me everything is going to be ok. ive been waiting for a year and a half for everything to be ok. i’ve ruined my relationship with my boyfriend because of smoking weed and other stuff. now this adds more weight onto my shoulders and gives me more reasons to be depressed and feel suicidal. i know i could never have the ability to do that to my family but i lash out. ive tried to cut my wrist take sleeping pills and choke myself. i feel really embarrassed about these things but im stuck in a shit hole. i […]
Not really too sure what I’m going to write about, but I feel the need to express myself. Here goes nothing..
So lately I’ve been freaking out quite a lot. When I say “freaking out” I mean, REALLY freaking out. Like throwing cookie dough at my dad, screaming, having the cops called on me, and my brother throwing a peanut butter jar at my face to get me to stop. Made for a nice little fat lip for a few days.. I can’t even remember why anymore. It was stupid. A flash.
I was so pissed that day I just couldn’t calm down. I had to shower […]
Chapter Two of my story, which began with, “On Wednesday Night, I broke.”
On Friday, December 2, I attempted suicide.Ă‚Â I hung myself by my neck with a cable TV coax strung through a metal shelf.Ă‚Â I failed, because I was startled by an unexpected sensation of falling.Ă‚Â I told my wife, and she called my mother, and the two of them put me on a sort of informal “suicide watch”.Ă‚Â This is what happened after that.
On Sunday, my mother came over and spent most of the day with me.Ă‚Â She’s a former cop and detective sergeant in the […]
I turned 14 on the 3rd
I have been sexually abused around 4-5 times
I recently found out in an empath and can see/feel spirits
I am bisexual
I have a girlfriend
I have forgiven my sexual abusers
I self diagnosed myself with a chronic social anxiety disorder
I have a needle phobia,its pretty bad
My favorite color is any shade of green except normal green 🙂
I am fairly happy
I survived chronic depression without medication or a therapist
I hate my mother
I love mismatched socks
I dress emo
My favorite band at the moment is Botdf
My girlfriend is cheating on me […]
I hate humans/humanity, society, and this real world, it’s all meaningless. I’m a misanthrope.
by niki
written by niki
It is sad that now I don’t feel like I’m a “human” anymore, or want to be associated with a being called “human”. I mostly hate humanity nowadays, and have become a Misanthrope, and disillusioned as well with this so-called “real world”. it sucks, and Humanity, though I used to believe it has so much hidden potentials, yet now I unfortunately can’t help but feeling Humanity is largely hopeless: we’re destroying our own Planet, animals, and even killing our fellow species over some stupid, close-minded, most ignorant & selfish, senseless reasons..
Can anybody here relate?…what to do then?…
Here’s a complete and detailed ‘rant’ of mine, if […]
im scared. and i dont know what to do anymore. i feel like im falling deeper into depression, and i cant take it. i cried like 10 times in the past few days. everything is so stressing to me. and i feel like things Ă‚Â are affecting me more. like im more sensitive for some reason. ive never been this sensitive. so its weird to me, and i dont know how to deal with stuff. i just want to be dead. i actually havent cut for months now. last time i cut it was all down my left arm. from elbow to wrist all covered. but […]
I’m a 22 year old engaged mother of one. My family takes care of my son and I entirely. I own a home, a car, I have food in the fridge and the lights are on.
I have failed at everything I’ve ever tried. I only graduated HS because my dad put me in a lock down boarding school where I didnt have a choice other than to graduate. I recently got kicked out of a school I’d been working 3 years to get into due to my anxiety/having to take medication for said anxiety.
I cant keep my house clean, I cant keep my kid happy, […]
For most of my childhood and adult life I have had enjoyable and pleasant dreams, however for the past twenty years I have not had one single good dream. I was told that I was probably having “good” dreams but forgetting them by the time I got out of bed. Ten years ago, I bought a small tape recorder and put it on the head of my bed so the moment that I woke up from a pleasant dream I could just reach up and grab it and record what I had dreamed.
I can tell you that for the past ten + years I have […]
I think people often only look at the ‘good’ sides of the money system, but overlooking (or even neglecting) many ‘bad’ sides, in fact perhaps much more than the ‘good/positive’ of the money system! that is IMHO where lies the main problem of all the constant debates & misunderstandings.
The fall of U.S & Europe financial crisis (and soon perhaps the world’s economic collapse, in 2012) have somewhat really proved about this.
People need to seriously look at the Bigger Picture of things, to be very objective, of what Money (system) also caused to humanity.
Out of curiosity, have any of you here ever heard of: […]
Humans, humanity, and this (earthly) world/life is not/never a perfect place..
sometimes it even can be ‘blamed’ because of our human’s hard-wired Nature. ie: the way we’re ‘created’.
A famous atheist literature Christopher Hitchens who just passed away ironically few days before Christmas, he said this: “Evolution has meant that our prefrontal lobes are too small, our adrenal glands are too big, and our reproductive organs apparently designed by committee; a recipe which, alone or in combination, is very certain to lead to some unhappiness and disorder.”
think about that, really…and this is even still just ONE factor (ie: I’m still not talking about other ‘imperfections’ nature […]
Forgive yourself & other humans,..because this *earthly* life is not perfect…and we’re all only humans…we made mistakes.
and besides, we all live only ONCE in this earthly life, so that’s why many people made mistakes in their life, because you can’t simply turn back time and repeat life..
So forgive yourself (& others), free yourself from all the restricting guilts,
keep learning,
and keep doing the Best & worthwhile while you’re still given a chance to exist and alive here in this physical world…
<img class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-58739" title="Becca hi my name is Becca im 13 years old. My two best friends are brittany and kaitlyn and i love them to death. My favorite sports are gymnastics and basketball . I sing in my school chior and i recently moved to texas from washington state in march of last year. But i have a deadly secret. I’m sucidal and i cutĂ‚Â . And was recently put into a mental hospital 3 weeks ago for a week for attempted sucide and cuttting. Now you may ask why. Why would a girl like me do so much harm to myself.. well […]
I just stumbled on this page accidently.Ă‚Â But maybe this will be helpful.Ă‚Â My older sister committed suicide over 20 yrs ago.Ă‚Â I have mental illness in my family and several of us have it, including myself.Ă‚Â I grew up with an alcoholic father and uncaring mother to give you a short and fast history of my family.Ă‚Â Due to my mental history (suffering with bipolar disorder for 24 yrs, since I was 18) and dealing with the loss of my sister, I attempted suicide 6 yrs ago.Ă‚Â I took my psychiatric medication plus some medical meds and as much tylenol as I could swallow.Ă‚Â […]
“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.” – George Carlin
Hail George.
he’s right.
fucking humans who like to over-complicate everything with all their ‘systems’ and rules and BS.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QW4x4gswm-o
“Tsubasa wo Kudasai” (Please Give Me Wings)
Lyrics translation:
“If I could have my wish come true right now
I’d want to have wings
Please place wings on this back
like a bird
I want to spread my wings
and fly in these heavens
To the free sky with no sadness
I want to flutter my wings and fly
Even now, I don’t need money nor fame,
what I want are wings!
The things I dreamt as a child,
I still dream about them today!
I wan’t to spread my wings
and fly into this wide sky!
I want to flap my wings and fly to this
free sky filled […]
“I hate this place. This zoo. This prison. This reality, whatever you want to call it, I can’t stand it any longer. It’s the smell, if there is such a thing. I feel saturated by it. I can taste your stink and every time I do, I fear that I’ve somehow been infected by it.” – Agent Smith (The Matrix)
I’m so tired of all the condescending niceties people say to me. Ă‚Â They tell me it’ll get better. Ă‚Â It’s been over 8 years and no, it hasn’t. Ă‚Â They say maybe a different drug will help. Ă‚Â I’ve been on 9 different drugs in various combinations and no, nothing has worked for any significant amount of time. Ă‚Â They tell me that exercise will help. Ă‚Â I did cross country and track throughout high school and that never helped in the slightest. Ă‚Â They tell me to “fake it until you make it.” Ă‚Â Why don’t I get a steel baseball bat and you can “fake it until you make it” […]
I hope 2012 come quickly, because this real world is too goddamn boring. I mean, what’s so interesting with all the “stock prices goes up, stock prices goes down, profits goes up, profits goes down”, and then on the other side you have party-poopers dumbwits kind of crowd.
I also hate like majority of humans as they’re usually dumb and ignorant, and prefer to have fun, party, have sex, seeking profits & money, rather than care about the continuation of civilization & humanity progress, basically, the things that REALLY MATTERS.
So hope HUGE catastrophe come! kill ’em all!
I for one never feel like I belong in […]