Over a year a go, I went to a doctor just to talk to someone. I was just having one of those of days, that was all. I was never depressed. Anyway, she gave me these tablets that were citalopram without explaining what they were, how long I should take them for or when it would be reviewed. She didn’t even explain why she thought I should be on them in the first place. All she said was if it was me, i would take them. I had been taking these tablets from October 2010-November 2011 without knowing what they were. This was a trainee […]
Tag:
Mental Hospital
uh. I am so alone. I have NO ONE. i have not left this house with any friends since probably May. I pushed everyone away. Why? everyone betrayed me. My friends all talk meaningless about me. My boyfriend dumped me a little before we turned a year together, right after i lost my virginity to him. I am a total dumbass. God, and this is just friends. Family? yeah. nah uh. My parents are on the point of divorcing. Always chaos in my house with either me and mom, me and dad, dad and mom, sister and sister, and me or sister.
Ive been through so […]
This is the question I ask myself everyday and honestly I don’t ever expect the answer. All my life people have had little faith in me. Telling me I will go to jail when I get older, saying I beat down a girl when I did not, and so much more. In fact I was accused of rapeing my  niece when I LOVE that girl and have told everyone that I always want to be there to protect her. If I raped her that would go against my word AND my morals.  People have told me numerous times I look like a pedophile and that I have […]
I have absolutely had it with this world. This society. The sheep that live around me. The doctors so greedy for money that they slap a label on me, without doing proper investigation, that follows me for the rest of my life. Let me elaborate a bit.
At 16 years old, I was having trouble coping with the pressures of adolescence and growing up in an abusive home. One day the pain became too much to bear and I broke down. I was taken to a mental hospital. (Of course a mental hospital. Because people in this day and age are too self-absorbed to HELP a […]
I need help on how to stop cutting. I have 50+ cuts on my upper leg and I would like to know I could stop. I look at my leg and see nothing but blood and how swollen it is. I just want to sto. I don’t know how to though. I’m affraid I’m going to get caught by my parents and they will put me in a mental hospital. I can’t go to one of them. They will just drug me up and make it numb. I want to find the core to my pain. I don’t think it is just because of what […]
(warning, may be a little too real for some)
7 years ago
you were taken away, i was scrreaming, crying…
5 years ago
my first visit to you, i had to be pulled out and taken to a mental hospital. at 8 years old.
2 years ago
i went to visit again…you saw my cuts, and silently cried. i walked out.
1 year ago
i wrote a letter to you…the gaurds dident give it to you.
3 months ago
i promised to write you.
1 month ago
i joined sp, giving up all hope.
10 minutes ago
i stARted writing this.
now
i hope to end it. now.
*goodnight*
tomorrows my moms birthday and while i can say i will smile and be happy on the outside thats only part of the truth but ill be crying on the inside. I havent decided if im ready to die yet ecspecially since i never seem to get it right I know if i really was ready id go to the bridge and jump off. I guess im at the point were i still do want help even though no help has been the right help. My therapist i feel like i havent talked to her in years. The last two times i saw her once […]
so 4th of july is here and i happy im not in a mental hospital especially when my therapist knows about my internal debate and following my plan to end it or not ending it. but she can still change her mind tomorrow morning seeing as shes forcing me to see her tomorrow even though she does not even work officially. I really dont know what im going to end up doing but what ever decision i make i hope its worth it. So its down to what i decide although the idea of breaking my boyfriends heart, breaking my promise to my friend, giving […]
I’ve lost hope, guys.
I have been abused by two different men.. (My mother’s boyfriends)
I’m absolutely in love with this boy, who doesn’t feel the same way towards me. I don’t blame him, though. I fucking hate myself. I hate myself so much. I’m ugly, I have no talent, I’m worthless.
Every day, I think to myself how people wouldn’t even care if I were to die.
I don’t care if I die, actually I want to be dead..
I have attempted suicide by overdosing. I overdosed because I wanted a little longer to tell someone that I love them.
To hear them say […]
So lonely but apparently having emotions is wrong is since I am a guy. It’s really just depressing how the world looks at my situation. Basically I’m a wuss for crying even though I have perfectly good reason to. Â Wanting to hug and kiss someone makes me needy although isn’t that one of the key thing man walks the Earth? To find love and acceptance? I was put in a crisis center aka mental hospital for people my age and you would think I would hate being there. If I can tell you this I love being in there. Sure the beds are hard to […]
I hear all this stuff about “suicide must be stopped” “find out the risk factors of suicide to prevent it” “Prison inmates suicide can be stopped” WHY I don’t get why they want to stop suicide. This world isn’t worth living for. And seriously prevent inmate suicide why? they are in hell on earth why would you prevent their suicide? It always amazes me how people try to prevent sombody elses suicide by getting they locked up or drugged. For anybody who says “suicide is the cowards way out” or “suicide is for weak losers” I hope that they get severe depression, get physically […]
She walked forward.. things rushing through her head.
shes one out of 7 billion people….
her long hair swiveling as she moves..
no face is seeen… only her back.. she keeps walking..
they call her name.. so she starts speed walking..
they call her again and she starts running..
she screams…. as she holds the knife…
she turnss her head….
full of tears and bloood.
full black eyes… pale with trembling lips..
and then EVERYTHING BLACKS OUT..
is she dead? maybe… is she in  a mental hospital probably..
Hi guys…
I’m really struggling right now with a lot of stuff… according to my psychiatrist I’m “clinically depressed,” but I’m on meds and they aren’t helping. I hate myself more than anything else in the entire world. I self-harm (that’s what it’s called, right?)–cut my ankles so no one can see. I have wonderful family and friends who all care about me very much and who would be destroyed if I died, but I just can’t see any other option right now. Every minute of my waking life consists of making plans to kill myself… I just completed my suicide note (it’s a poem… am […]
my name is matt, I live in new jersey. i started off with depression when i was 3. at that time my father began beating me i would estimate once a week, as well as my father having somewhat severe fights with my mother which often hurt me because she would be emotionally unavailable and I obviously was very distant from my father which made me feel alone. this feeling of being alone has always embodied me. i now am 19. i started off in middle school acting out and made a lot of “friends” but got myself in a lot of trouble just because […]
i was doing good. I had gone a week without a single relapse. But then, like something wanted me to do it, I found my razor on the floor, just sitting there. It wasnt there before. But there it was. All the pain and suffering I feel, all the hate and frustration I have, it all hit me at once. And there was my ticket to euphoria… Relapse number four since I left the mental hospital… Proof that I’m too far gone to save anymore.
I have been in a juvie/ mental hospital thing forth past week. I cut myself a little to deep and went to the hospital again. They decided to do something this time. Now that I’m back home I found out I am moving again come April. My mom said I fell in with the wrong group of people and she wants me out. Honestly I know I did but making me move again isn’t going to help. I’m done. Life just isn’t ment to be lived.
I never understood why I would one minute be unbelievably happy and the next minute be crying for no apparent reason..
It all started on a Monday after school, which is another reason life had been unbearable. No matter where I went I was the school whore..or at least the freshman whore. But back to that Monday night, my cousin who’s also my best friend was over spending the night. We were picking out clothes to wear for the next day at school. Then my mom came home, she was obviously stressed and started yelling at me. Next thing I know we’re screaming bloody murder […]
I never understood why I would one minute be unbelievably happy and the next minute be crying for no apparent reason..
It all started on a Monday after school, which is another reason life had been unbearable. No matter where I went I was the school whore..or at least the freshman whore. But back to that Monday night, my cousin who’s also my best friend was over spending the night. We were picking out clothes to wear for the next day at school. Then my mom came home, she was obviously stressed and started yelling at me. Next thing I know we’re screaming bloody murder […]
I messed up my life at 7 years old. I learned what everything a adult thought of was, and my parents were getting divorsed. My mom hit my dad, and they always cussed eachother out in front of me. We were in the car once, my brother opened the door and was SO close to jumping out. he was leaning out of the car. If we hadn’t pulled him in, we would have seen him dead on the highway. we were screaming, and the one who didn’t help pull him back in was my mom. she yells at us, and nearly killed my dad. My […]
Hiya I am a 21year old and since I was about 12 all I have felt is despair and hopelessness. I can’t remember the last time I was happy. I attempted to jump off a bridge last night but just my luck the police turned up. I feel useless I can’t even kill myself properly. They took me to the mental hospital but they didn’t even speak to me just told the police to take me home. So looks like I was right all along I can’t be helped otherwise they would help me right? So it looks like my only option is suicide at […]