I can’t do this, anymore. I’m done. I don’t even care about the mess or scarring my family, anymore. Here’s hoping I don’t see everyone on the other side too soon. Cheers! *drinks my fizzy chocolate milk*
Tag:
mess
That’s it. I’m a mess and I pray for this to be over soon. I’m in hell.
oh lord, I don’t know what I’m doing anymore
I got way too drunk last night because I haven’t been able to eat anything all week. Only had a few drinks but I was still stumbling
party hopped across the city, ended up a drunk crying mascara and nose running whimpering mess in my (extremely recently) ex boyfriend’s roommates room with amazing and way too nice friends holding me. broke down because I found out he had taken a girl home last night even though we broke up less than a week ago (1.5 year relationship, pretty long time for a 21 year old)
took my friend home, […]
the weather here has been such shit lately and that onto of everything else has thrown my mood down so much, I wish I had someone to talk to, to distract me from the mess that is my life, even if just for a night
Despite already having a post typed out for today, I’ve decided to change it and write this instead. Because I just realised several minutes ago just how little my mum cares.
I’ve been an emotional mess all day for no apparent reason, so I refused to step foot outside my room until 3 in the afternoon. Before that, no one bothered to come into my room to check on me. But we’re ignoring all that as I’m fast forwarding to not too long ago.
Recently, there has been a girl coming in my room at night. Her name is Bree, and she’s around my age. Every night […]
It was roughly about this time last year that that darkness swooped in and took over.
It’s happened before, but in time would usually pass, this time, it’s remained.
Every day is a struggle, I’ve tried so many things to shake it..
Girls, drinking, exercise, working, everything just a temporary distraction, just clicking off the seconds, trying to make it through another day.
Finding this site has helped, a place to vent, to read other peoples experiences and feel a certain kinship, to know am not alone, dealing with a life that once promised so much potential, now, just a daily chore to remain,hoping for […]
Tomorrow I have an appointment in the hospital about suicide stuff after I was admitted two weeks ago.
I plan on killing myself on April 6th.
They brought up youth protection services a few times, and let me be real, I am not in accordance to that.
I can’t let them admit me and keep me in. I have to get myself out the mess that well, it feels, they created.
What do I tell them? What lies?
I gotta figure out something.
Urgh.
ME
She’s stunning
I’m plain-jane
She’s popular
I’m lame
She’s right
I’m wrong
She’s affluent
I scrape-along
She’s fit
I’m flab
She’s fluent
I’m blab
She’s pretty
I’m not
She’s a circle
I’m a dot
She’s a guest
I’m a pest
She’s neat
I’m a mess
She’s my goals
&
I’m my failure
©2016 Ashley Williams
Well… My birthday euphoria has vanished. I’m a sad, lonely, anxious mess again. My stomach is in knots from anxiety. I can’t breathe. I’m tired. I feel nauseated.
A disappointing mess that has all the potential to be better but through utter incompetence fails to reach potential.
written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)
As I watched moody superheroes fight i realized what this movie is accurately describes my life. It means well has some good parts. But is too depressing and meaningless to be truly enjoyed. Im too much of a fat pos to ever be cared about. I’m too incompetent to improve my life. I’m giving myself 18 months. Its a very short amount of time. If things aren’t improving then it’s off with my head. Im so tired of impoverished lonelines, alienation, and obesity as normalcy. I’m not living. This isn’t living.
it’s been a wile but I guess your due to return
Me-hay insomnia it’s been awhile
insomnia-I know you thought u could hide from me with sleeping pills right ?
me-umm well kinda yeah u keep me up all night messing with my head making me over think and drain the little life I have in me
insomnia – haha well I’m back to kick u in the teeth what u going to go with out them pills now huh ?
me-……..
Insomnia- you know your life a mess right ?
Me-no I didn’t know it was a mess actually I thought it was going fine if u ask me that’s why […]
Updat how fucked up is florida I went down the street to buy cigerrets and some random peson comes up to wanting to be “freinds and talk” when i kindly told him no im good .he tells my i was driveing i and i saw you walking and stop to say hi do you need a lift I can droo you off i said no now leave while waiting to a red light to cross the street he pulled up and opened his window and told him to fo fuck him slef and leave me alone .
Today I cried […]
On the “passive aggressive office person”. Yeah, there’s 3 of us that work here. Any mess left in the fridge or microwave was from the people who used it – 2 of them are not here anymore. The 1 of us that does use it is the one who complains and so now the boss yells at the 2 of us who don’t use the fridge or microwave ever at all!
Not looking for sympathy here, what I did is what I did. I should have just been there for her as a friend, shouldn’t have given into her subtle advances, taking it to the next stage I knew I’d surely regret. I should have recognized her vulnerability and kept respectable distance with compassion, but I didn’t..
I allowed the night to progress, one beer, 2 beer, 3 beer, talking closer and closer at the arcade bar, her warming up to my unfurling pinball skills, as laughable as that may seem, close contact is close contact.
Suddenly the air is charged. The familiarity of our past, the […]
During the week I work, I workout, I’m busy doing stuff. I have no time to let my mind interfere. The weekends are the worst. I get lonely and depressed. Yesterday I was such a mess. I feel like nothing satiates me. I loathe weekends. I do nothing except ponder why I exist and wait for each moment to pass so I can go to sleep. But today I feel better. Distractions are amazing. To not be able to think… It’s wonderful.
Sometimes I just stare at my wrists when I get like this and wonder what it would be like to plunge a knife through my artery and veins. When the pain eats away at me and crying doesn’t even help. Crying used to help. I felt ashamed the other night when I just cried myself to sleep and woke up and realized that I didn’t take my dog out, that I left my kitchen a mess, that I slept in my clothes. I never do that. I have never cried myself to sleep either.
How can I go on when so many things that remind of all the negatives. My life is just a mess of associations of things I face to hurtful thoughts.
Just want this rough ride to be over. If someone is reading a book and even by a quarter in they arent enjoying it, wouldnt they just put it down?
I guess I’m just trying to wind up the courage to try again had enough of this bull shit anyways being depressed anxious ain’t left the house in days struggle to get out of bed this isn’t life for a 26 year old I would rather be dead I no people have worst lives then I do but iv just mad a mess of things that can’t be fixed and the loneliness is to much to bare anymore hope I get the courage soon
Lately I’ve been feeling so used that I feel useless, like an object instead of a human being.
I feel like I’ve lost all feelings all together from how people have treated me.
All the disrespect, and just seeing how they don’t give a damn or care about how it affects me.
They don’t care because they don’t know that I have feelings.
They mess with me, hurt me in many ways. But do they even notice or care? No. Why?
Because they think I’m just a god damn voodoo doll.
Wondering what to think in order to fall asleep. Can’t tell if everything is lost in cacophony or if there isn’t anything to begin with. Both are worrying. Vacillating between wanting quiet and dreading it.
I suppose there are thing I want stopped and things I want ended, and neither thought yields any comfort. I’m not even sure this is comforting, it’s just something.
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