Tag:

Mind

So be it

by quaero 11/8/2013

written by quaero

Note: as i have written earlier, i sometimes use SP as diary. this is basically just a personal note i want to give to myself, a kind of remainder of a conclusion so that i don’t get lost again or atleast have at the back of my mind that i’ve made some conclusions which are more important than normal random thoughts. all in all i want to get rid of these thoughts without fear of forgetting their essence.

good days are going (i.e. currently happening). but i’m tired of them. in fact i get tired of good days sooner than that of bad days. its looking […]

11/8/2013 0 comment

Short Story: Little White Pills

by Lost-girl47 10/30/2013

written by Lost-girl47

The girl was laying in her bed staring up at the ceiling, unblinking, her long hair streaming out around her. Her tears had made large damp marks on her pillow case. The door was closed; the blinds were drawn.

She was waiting for the pills to take effect.

She wondered how long it would be before she started to drift away. She hoped it would be painless and peaceful – just like in the movies. How long had it been already? It felt like forever.

She thought of her family. Of her brothers and sister. Would they miss her after she was gone? They had never exactly been […]

10/30/2013 5 comments

Why must I undergo this pain?

by nathanmb 10/26/2013

written by nathanmb

This is my first post. I am 15, and always feel like I cannot escape the pain within my life. I have been raped, lost my grandmother, my father left me, I moved, I have been bullied since 5, very few friends, harassed, abandoned, misunderstood, and much more. I put myself before others more so than anything else, and I cannot bare to do otherwise. But I get hurt for doing such a thing. I support self defense, and I would do so if required, and sometimes I do want to, but I cannot think of myself doing such things to someone.

What did I do […]

10/26/2013 2 comments

It felt like nothing at first.

by .marie. 10/19/2013

written by .marie.

Anyone ever had something terrible done to them? I did. Police, doctors counsellors. Everyone was concerned. I wasn’t. Was I suppose to? I was upset sure, but everyone assumed I was suicidal, depressed, I was crazy, I needed help. Putting words in my mouth. Sure I was depressed I still am and was way before this, and sure I’m suicidal but I’ve been for a long time. This changed nothing. Or I though it didn’t. It was funny the first few months I acted like nothing happened. Everyone was concerned, and I was neutral to the whole thing. It never hit me. But as months […]

10/19/2013 0 comment

Loud Tired White Walls

by BlueInfinity 10/17/2013

written by BlueInfinity

Somedays I just lay in my bed staring at the walls in silence. I get so busy in letting my thoughts run that an hour will casually slip by, just like that. Sometimes two.
Staring at these white walls.
Not listening to music, not sleeping, not on my laptop, not even moving a twitch. I just let myself breathe in silence.
And I wonder adding up all those hours, adding into days, weeks of endless uselessness of nothing when I go to meet God will he damn me for these days of wasting my “precious” life he gave? The big man will ask me, why […]

10/17/2013 0 comment

Heartbeats

by sleeplessinSTL 6/3/2013

written by sleeplessinSTL

I can feel my heart slowly beating the same slow pulse,

But my mind is breaking apart and starting to convulse,

As I try to not think about the destruction before my eyes,

Another day gone down the drain in the life that I despise,

A quietÂ bum bum, bum bum, goes onÂ inside my chest,

I still have a heartbeat but it’s very faint,

Meager at the very best,

Back to my brain,

It is turning off,

Shutting down from all my pain,

The drugs, the cuts, the suicide,

My eternal cloud of rain,

I’ve been counseled and hospitalized to no avail,

Every treatment sought has failed,

Hope is scarce and failure is often,

I wish they would just put me […]

6/3/2013 1 comment

My Nights

by kieravan 5/31/2013

written by kieravan

I can’t even explain my feelings every night

I feel my heart aching as I turn out the light

Can’t shut my eyes, swollen from each tear

I never expect my thoughts to get this severe

Knife, scissors, pills all cover my desk.

All which can leave me very statuesque.

ThoughtsÂ eruptÂ my mind about all I hate

I don’t know really if I want death to wait.

Each night I spend lying completely alone

When will it get better? it remains unknown.

Searching deep down to find me a reason

Why I keep living through this suicidal season.

Exploding with depression as I lie in my bed

This pain is too much, makes me wish I was dead.

These thoughts […]

5/31/2013 0 comment

Thinking and Prevision

by buried and dug up 1/5/2013

written by buried and dug up

My name is Luke, and I want to share my suicide experience with you, for any chance of reading and really making you think about the decisions you are about to make.

Before I begin, remember that I do not know you, and it is your choice and yours only to take your life. It is a natural feeling to feel like this, and don’t let people tell you otherwise…they’re either in a shock state or they’ve missed a dose of their anxiety pills.

Anyways, now to start…

I had just started senior year, I was 17, had the girl of my dreams, was playing in a band, […]

1/5/2013 1 comment

A turtle hidden in its shell

by friedoysterskins 11/28/2012

written by friedoysterskins

Hey everybody!

I’m a new user…I’m friedoysterskins, and I’m 15 years old.

Just thought I should introduce myself. Hopefully I’m welcomed to join the community!

For my first post on here, I’d just like to vent about a few things, if that’s alright.

Alright, well I consider myself an introvert. I keep most things to myself. I prefer solitude. I’m inexpressive at times. I suffer in silence.Â Why?

I don’t know why I bottle myself up, or why I don’t ever share what’s on my mind.

Two reasons I came up with why I do are:

I feel compelled to not show any signs of weakness. I’m a very emotional person. Whenever […]

11/28/2012 1 comment

Twist In The Plot

by Miss.Mayhem 11/5/2012

written by Miss.Mayhem

I think I’ve officially lost my fucking mind. When someone that I love doesn’t talk to me for an hour or I haven’t heard from them in like a day I will make up this whole story in my head that something’s happened. I will actually talk to myself and feel the actually pain that I’ve lost them. For example I’mÂ freakingÂ out nowÂ becauseÂ my boyfriend hasn’t talked to me since last night and he’s not online. I have made up this whole story that I’m going to eventually call his phone and his mom is going to answer and tell me he died in a car accident […]

11/5/2012 0 comment

Help

by painterofmusic 5/25/2009

written by painterofmusic

Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Everything hurts. The secrets I can’t tell anyone, and no one cares at all. Who do I turn to? How do I say the words to someone, someone I trust, that is going to make them understand? Who would I tell? WhoÂ can I trust? How do I get even one minute with them only three days before school is out? I’m going to die this summer. I don’t know what else to do. I can’t stand my life anymore, my mind… I have secrets that are killing me, literally. I’m going to die because I can’t take knowing the things I know. And even […]

5/25/2009 5 comments

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