Well I made it thru today with only a few minor scratches and awkward moments at work. To those of u who commented this morning (my time), may ur karmic bank accounts overflow!! Without spewing too many platitudes u guys really helped. Example….where I wouldve gone to the bathroom at work and watched YouTube videos of the golden gate bridge and budd dwyer repeatedly, I just checked ur comments on my post. I reckon that’s much healthier behaviour. Hang tough mofos and try to keep it together. That’s all I can do atm.
Tag:
minor
Those are the only two emotions I feel anymore..
When I’m mad I turn into a monster, and feel like I have zero control over myself. This rage is like a hurricane destroying everything, and everyone in my way.
When I’m sad I cry about every little thing, and I mean EVERYTHING.. Someone looks at me the wrong way, and I start tearing up. Something very minor happens in a T.V show, I start balling my eyes out.
My mother is always saying that I need to get out of this “funk” I’m in. What she doesn’t realize is that I honestly cannot remember a time where I […]
This may seem like a minor problem at the moment,
But (I’ve mentioned) while seeing psychologist today, when she left, I took the moment to badly harm myself.
But see, I never hurt my wrist because its very evident and I don’t like wearing long sleeves 24/7, and it interferes with everything (the pain), and above all, its so horribly painful there afterwards, so usually when I’m doing ordinary tasks it stings like hell.
i wanna take a shower but….
Dear lord…
Any advice?
Everything to me, feels out of reach, out of place, too far gone, simply, far away.
I have to be happy; I know I have to be happy. I SHOULD be happy.
But I can’t. And I’m not.
I may be complaining about something minor, something great, so whats the problem?
I get the opportunity to go to a concert tomorrow, a first experience for me. But I’m crying tonight. Anxiety kicks me in the face and leaves my crying and broken. I’m scared. I’m afraid. I am NOT happy.
I am sad, to add on to it. A deep, unending sadness that makes me feel numb with my emotions. I’m not […]
Hi. I found this website a few days ago, and I decided to post my story. When I was 16, my parents took me to a psyc for the first time because I was having minor anxiety and attention issues. 1 year later, the side effects had me depressed as hell. I was 18 when I tried to slit my wrists. I failed, obviously. 3 years later I started cutting. If I’m lucky enough to get anyone here before they start, don’t start!!! I was 22 when I tried to overdose on psyc meds. Now, I’m trying to stop cutting but failing. I want to […]
I am theloser102. The one and only loser in my sovereign city.
On November 21st, 2015 at 11:00 PM at night, I decided it would the perfect time for me to finally find peace. I went to the area with lots of trees near my house and used a rope I bought. For the sake of following the rules, I’ll leave it at that. The aftermath however……
My suicide did not work, even after three tries. The only damage that was done was a few rope burns on my neck and a little bleeding, I couldn’t believe it. I ensured everything was well tight and was highly […]
Here I am again, back in this place where only sadness lingers .True, there is some good things on this sight. Stories of triumph and happiness, but even the best among them are shadowed by the disorder we suffer from. We have all bled from countless wounds, and left unhealed they would have killed us. Many of us only have minor bandages upon them, nothing to save us from the slow bleed of our will to live leaving us. I know that we can be saved, we could fix everything wrong with us, but something went wrong with us on a fundamental level. I was […]
why do so many people in the spring of their life want to die?
by cathy arsis
written by cathy arsis
I know a part of it is lack of latitude, perspective, and maturity…another mitigating factor is the plethora of uncouth unkempt destructive and fickle hormones that run rampant and unchecked in rare form, throughout all the winters that reign year(s) in and through all the days of precocious and ironically facetious youth thru the ides of March until age20 comes to pass…..but how much, and towards what end, does the state of the world, internationally and locally weigh in this….if this is a cumbersome and poorly written, it’s bc it’s written in stream of consciousness style. It’s a writing exercise used by writers to hone their […]
Sorry if the title sounds hopeful. It isn’t.
About two months ago, I made a minor attempt on my life (not particularly committed, more of a shake-up than anything) but, after a slow upwards curve after that point, my mind has returned to the well trodden trail it knows so well. I’m just miserable. It’s been something I’ve been ignoring, repressing, letting build up inside. I feel like a skimming stone, leaping in ever-descending arcs until I come to a halt (dumb metaphors, we got ’em). Every fall is harder, shaking my confidence more and more over time. Nothing works.
What am I but a leech, an […]
Hi I’m 24 year old male. When I was a baby I had surgery. I have scars behind each EAR… Look up v2k mind control…. Since I was a minor the town I live in turned me into a chomo. I was in my teens and the voices told me to look at teen porn…when I was in my 20s I remember getting outta jail and the voices were telling me to look at minor porn. Now the world pisses in my food and drinks and comes into my home. And pee in my shampoo n soap and toothpaste. So you still think you have […]
So, the “he” from my last update said hi today. Yes, he is in prison & he’s not supposed to have contact with me or the family at all. But he told his mom to tell “the guys” that he said hi. From now on, I shall refer to “him” as James. Of course, for the sake of privacy for both him & his family, that is not his actual name.
Anyways, that one small word made me fucking melt in both good & bad ways. When my mother walked upstairs to inform me of his greeting, my heart just fucking stopped. Every little memory […]
I don’t think I will ever be happy. A meaningful life is not within my grasp. There is no version of me from this point that can get there. No version that can be content with how things are, or feel at peace.
I still have hope, but it’s irrational hope. It’s constantly smacking it’s head against the logical reality of who I am, and how I’ve lived, and it’s painful. It would be better for me to let it go. But if I do that, what else is left?
So what am I doing here? I’m suffering. Either I’m stressed out from work, or exhausted, or […]
I’m not sure why I’m feeling the way I am. When I made my decision and came up with the plan, I felt relieved. When I took the first step and bought a burial plot in the small cemetery where my father is buried, I felt I had accomplished something concrete. I already have rough drafts of my letters written, and decisions made on where and how. I’m just waiting for one more (unwanted) event to occur, after which no one will need me anymore. Yesterday I went out and ordered my headstone, which looks just like my dad’s, except that I wanted to put […]
Time to go
I leave behind 2 minor children
They are my world……. I am tired of being tired….. tired of waking up everyday to the guilt of my misdeeds of past…….. tired of people saying they understand or just shake it off
tired of always being angry and full of hate I would rather be dead if than to continue to live this way
if you dont know the pain it is hard for you to understand
I am devastated for what my kids will have to deal with but I could no longer go on
My little brother was in an accident tonight. Was thrown from the truck. Yes, there was alchol involved and he is a minor but that is not the big issue for me right now.
He wanted me to come get him and not my dad. When I told my dad where I wanted to go he told me if I went to get him I would get kicked out of our house. Im so torn and so depressed. I can’t be the big sister I need to be because fear of getting kicked out. I really just […]
I am a depressive person, My first suicide attempt was at age six and all I wanted is peace, never have to feel again.
Depression it’s not sadness, but lack of vitality, a suffering so huge over anything so little to anybody else.
I grew up to become a chemical-pharmacist and treat myself and I want to say I been reading you guys and know many of you think you may not actually get to suicide and just come here and read and post because you feel like it; like waiting until you feel so fucked up that fear and doubt are gone. Believe me, […]
The life and times of a deformed female! What I have experienced of life!
First lesson of being deformed: you are evil no matter what you do. You are impure, you are undeserving, you are filth. There’s no way that mutated body was created by the hand of God.
Beauty is goodness. Ugly is evil. (Watch any Disney movie!) If you were beautiful we’d let you get away with murder. If you are ugly we won’t let you get away with throwing a pencil across the room.
You cannot afford to have any accidents or missteps as an ugly person. You will not be forgiven. You will be reviled for minor misdeeds that […]
I think the hardest problem I’m facing right now is the fact that life got better, I was doing ok, and now, back to this feeling of incredible nothingness, the void that stays in my heart even when things seem to be all right.
NO one wants me in their life, really. Â I started talking to my mom again, found out she and my dad were getting a divorce, and all of it is good because for years they have stayed together and it was making them miserable. Â I reconnected with them, and I got a room mate to help me with the bills. Â I got […]
Why are people so unfriendly to me? Do I give off some vibe that says don’t talk to me? My roommate gives me dirty looks. I will call her Sandra from here on out. I am not sure if this is just how her face normally looks or what but she never says hi or good morning to me, I want to say those things to her but the looks she gives me make me stay silent. I live on campus this semester, it has only been a few days but it has been very hard. I feel like I am constantly sick to […]