I think i miss feeling depressed. Now everything’s just empty.
My friend called me to go to the beach and go see the water and trails and it was so cold , about 25 degrees . But I got some good pictures . Here’s some
happiness to share with you all 🙂 it was gloomy out but the water was pretty .
Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset
I want to cry but cant or even move. Fireworks will go off again soon. I did this to myself. I dated, i was weak, and i suffered and still am. Im not going to just meet someone thats just going to fall in place. Anytime soon even if we need it. Every partner i had, left. This one.. Im ready to go now.. And if i miss im just going to rip it out in agony and do it again. Well thata how i feel
I desperately want someone to be there for me. 24*7. And id do the same obviously, be there for them.
Someone who can understand me and i can understand them.
Someone wholl call me or text me just to say they miss me.
And then i found her. She was the one, still is, i am 17, so i know how stupid it sounds from a teenager.
But i think ill regret not telling her forever.
She has a boyf and i have the physique of a pig.
Shes not very pretty or very intelligent, but shes the one for me.
But unfortunately for me, […]
So it turns out that I’m on antidepressants now, a weak dosage. It’s not doing anything and tomorrow this when I’m going to see my doctor who prescribed them to me to gain my dosage because it’s not changing my depressing and suicidal thoughts.
Right now I can’t stop thinking about slicing my wrists open and seeing my crimson blood run down my arms, the urge is too strong. It’s all I can think about and I hate it. I’m trying to fight through it for my best friend and my family.
I feel scared, hopeless, I don’t even feel like I’m in my own […]
I’ll miss this place. My family is here. I miss working here. I’ll miss everyone.
I feel i dont deserve friends i dont have many but very few kno my wrongs and still speak to me the one i hurt most is done with me we dont even speak i think of __ alot i miss the good times i suck
I already know I will end my life. However, I am trying to hang on until after my youngest is 18 (in several months). It is getting very difficult to wait. I have everything planned and ready to go.
Each day is harder than the last. My very existence is torturous. I have no one to help me. The doctor trys to help but no medication or therapy has made a difference (over the last 40 years).
Every interaction seems to just take another piece of me. I have no more to give. The tank is finally empty.
I am afraid I won’t be able to survive to […]
I was adopted at birth, and for good reasons.
I never felt “true love” from my adopted parents even when they said so or acted like it, because in the back of their heads, I was there to fill an emotional hole before anything else.
I never had a friend who truly cared about the Universe. Maybe they weren’t smart enough or weren’t as curious as I am, but still it sucks when you can’t relate to anyone in your entourage, since virtually all the people you know of are actually “playing similar games”, and by doing so, miss the opportunity to look at things from other perspectives.
I […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
and i don’t even care if that sounds dumb. i can’t lie about how i feel, life was just better when i was a kid. i didn’t have the best childhood, but i wasn’t abused and at least i wasn’t depressed. i still had a capacity for fun and adventure, whereas now it takes a herculean amount of strength to face each day, and i feel ‘blah’ about everything. nothing is fun anymore. the years 2002-2007 stand out for me, i was young enough to still have a rosy view of the world. things went south after 08, 2009-10 was kind of the point of […]
Why is it so hard to get mental help when you need it? I’m a college student with parents that don’t know that anything’s wrong, and $10 to my name.
I started going through what I needed to do to prepare to commit suicide…one of my friends caught on and told me maybe I should go get help. I said I would do it for her. It’s been an uphill battle trying to find someone to take my insurance, and being able to get an appointment. Most places don’t take appointments for the intake paperwork, so I have to miss a whole day of class for […]
Also .. I’m so sexually frustrated and miss the feel of having a boyfriend and being able to go out and just spend time with them and kiss them and what not …
Sorry I had to let it out … Cuz literally … the sexual frustration is intense ..
I’m done, I just want to leave and put this agonizing existence behind me. Yet everyone has to keep telling me that it’s my “duty” that “I have to” to stay alive for everyone else. Bullshit no one gives a shit and I know that. If I disappeared tomorrow, the only person who would miss me is my mom and I’m sure she would get over it. I don’t matter in anyones life, everyone else has a better friend then me and just keep me around cause they are just sympathizing for the reject. After all, doesn’t everyone say that they need to get rid […]
It’s been a little bit since I’ve been able to get on here.
Dealing with my uncle’s death and the holiday and all.. There’s been a lot going on in my life that’s kept me away.
Anyway, I hope I didn’t miss anything and I’m sorry I wasn’t able to comment or help anyone. I hope everyone is still here.
How is everyone doing?
they’re taunting me. i cant sleep without dreaming of him. the way he touched me. god i miss it so much. ive been restless for a few days now. cant grt over him if all i do is dream about him. WHY???!? he has moved on or so i think so. ive moved on but im still stuck.
Everything has been a downward’s spiral. I don’t really want to do anything anymore, I’m too sad. I don’t want to go to work, I don’t want to pack my things for going back to school next week, I don’t want to leave my hometown, but I don’t want to stay. It’s like I need to get away from here because I’m more hurt than not over recent events, but I don’t have anything waiting for me at school either. Unless you count my ex who probably won’t want me back anyway because I gained weight this summer. Nothing to look forward to, nothing to […]
Just wondering whether anyone knows where killswitchon is? It’s just that he hasn’t posted in a while, and I can’t find any of his old posts. I just miss his presence here, his videos gave me a bit of hope. And I just wanted to make sure that he’s okay.
Today I woke up and felt like dying. This isn’t unusual anymore. It took me a while before I talked myself into pulling back the duvet and putting on a shirt. Everyone thinks I’m fine. I smile and try to laugh, but laughing seems like a pathetic attempt at breathing lately. I’ve felt so alone, even in a room full of people. I hardly see the point of carrying on anymore. What’s the point of trying if I’m going to die anyway? I like to think of myself like a glass vase that someone dropped. You can pick the broken glass up and glue it back […]
In the 23rd of August, 2013; I made my very first post on this website entitled Forgotten. The post was about how I had been dealing with depression due to relocation, loneliness, a growing anti-social behavior, and the loss of many friends in my hometown. I moved quite far from my home and lost many friends and dealt with depression for the past couple years. Now I have just been given news that I might have to relocate once again… to my hometown. At first I didn’t take my mother serious and said, “I would love to move back! Moving back wouldn’t be a problem!” […]