I’m behind on social media, what with the lack of smart phone and all but I thought I’d start something like a “100 happy days” log. I may be getting a new phone next month with a functioning camera but for now, I can only post words. What I once saw as a boastful and patronizing project I now understand that writing out the positive parts of your day can surely have therapeutic benefits.
It’s really just for personal documentation but if anyone is reading, I hope you can draw some inspiration or hope from this. Even though days often seem long and empty, there can always be […]
Tag:
my life
I felt the need to post this…
I lost my seventeen year old daughter to suicide on May 31. She hung herself in our garage. This has devastated our family and all of her friends. We miss her so much. I know many of you feel so helpless and so sad. But please consider the pain that you will cause others by taking your own life. You are more important to your loved ones that you could ever know. Please know that they love you and will miss you dearly. Now that I no longer have my beautiful daughter in my life, I have lost my […]
Hey. Here goes.I did not want to talk about this to anyone ,because in my family no one understands ,its just the way they look at me when i try to talk to someone.Its that look ,when u feel,people are listening just because they have to,not because they want to… I was born in a family with rooted alcoholism.My mothers father was a heavyweight drinker and so was my father.So the fights,physical and psychological were on daily bases.I started to develop this person in my own world.i used to lock myself in my room,put my headphones on and got lost in music.I was talented musician.In […]
Vietnam, July 24
I just came back from one failed year studying in France. After one year, I realized that I didn’t study what I really wanted. So why, why did I go ?
The first thing my father noticed, when I stepped out the door of the aeroport, frustrated having to leave the solitude on the 12-hour flight, was that I did not greet him. He took no time to inform my mother about my misbehavior. A good child should «know your place», and I know that very well. But I hate good boys […]
Well everybody has a story to tell, and I feel like I should probably put mine out there somewhere, if for nothing more than prosperity’s sake.
I guess my real story starts at age fifteen. I was a sophomore in high school. I never really had many friends, only one or two that I would call friends, and I never really had a girlfriend, even though I was always told by the girls that I was good looking, I guess my personality just wasn’t what they wanted as I tended to be quiet, and introverted. One day I found myself sitting next to a pretty girl […]
Im feeling good.
Even though there’s a downpour outside,
My mind seems to find a happy place.
A space that doesnt exist on this plane
but which I create and can change
according to my will
in accordance to the pills that I ingested
in mass quantities
Yes it bothers that im living in another persons body as my soul continues rotting My own mind continues plotting
Against me
When I resist me
Multiple personalities
Collide inside me
Im dying
Im dead
I dread the days, curse the night, wish my life would end.
I guess its more of a rap than a poem
I moved out to Corona, California in June of 2013, and bout two months into moving to the new city I still felt new to the city and developed a sadness for being a way from my old friends. I am a 16 year old guy and I’m not much of a social person. I pretty much stuck with the same friends I had living in my old town. But back then I was more social and interactive with my friends, I actually did things outside of school and home with my friends. The last time I had a girlfriend was 2012. But now living […]
My mother’s schizo finally did it, she can’t work anymore, still doesn’t admit she needs treatment, I don’t know if she’s taking her meds but knowing her it’s the last thing she’ll do, it’s way too nice to make my life even more of a hell. I can’t earn more, I can’t get a better job, or I can’t get a second job, whether she accepts it or not. Nobody understands me. I don’t, either. Why do I still care who’s gonna take care of her when I’m dead, I don’t know! I definitely don’t want to do anything for her anymore. Yet I still […]
I’m new here so I hope I don’t stuff this. I’ve been feeling really down now for about 8 years. I’ve made many soft attempts at suicide, I guess in an attempt to get help. I am becoming more and more depressed to a point where I can’t function in almost any way. I used to have such pride and such a desire to keep trying even if I felt all the demons circling me every day. Now I couldn’t care less about anything and I miss caring even if it was in a small way. I have nothing going on in my life. I’ve […]
cold dark sleepless night take me away by the candel light of the lantern on the bow of the boat of deth as i dance my hands on the key bord the words of hope and loss on the screen take me trough me i know how bad i am take me fight me love me kiss me i whant to be toched dont let me go i may fall dont hold me to closce i may hurt you teas role down my cheeks as i think of her tern to black then red blow up in my face all best layed plans stop
take a toke carry on
i […]
i have had depression for as long as i can remember (even as a child i’d have these terrible mood swings but i don’t know what you’d class them under) but it got really bad when i was 12 years old. i am now 16 and if anything my depression has gotten a lot worse over these years.
i know that my life is not as hard as it could be but right now my family has barely enough money to get along, my parents are practically divorced with the way they act around each other and all i want to do is leave this […]
I guess most people here have a reason to be depressive, either their hard childhood or a disease or whatsoever.
I was bullied all trough highschool and all but after highschool life was pretty good, from abou 16 to 19 my life was somewhat normal, had lots of relationship and sex, i was passionate i had friends, all that jazz, but then came hypothyrodism and it just went downhill from there and now im almost 25 and its been a damn hard ride with about 10% good time and 90% horrible aching depressing inside pain. For a while the huge amount of hair loss from thyroid […]
Well, he’s gone. I can’t say much about this, just in case someone who knows me stumbles across this website, they would be able to tell that it’s me. So… the struggle it is to talk about my feelings. The love of my life is gone, and isn’t coming back for months. No more constantly texting him, or sneaking out to see him. Only a couple pictures, his stuff that he gave me, and memories. I just can’t believe the moment where he had to leave, came so soon. He made me so happy. I no longer feel the need to move, eat, or take […]
I want to cry, I keep going from feeling pain and hurt to feeling numb. I get really annoyed with certain people and I don’t know why, just them txting me will just annoy me. It sucks all of it the whole concept of life, of living. No matter how hard I try to care to want things for myself I can’t. I’m working and going to school and putting in all my time and efforts to being the best I can be, but at the end of the day I don’t care it doesn’t mean anything to me. My life is empty and I […]
Hi.
This is my first post. I should probably introduce myself.
I am a 21 year old girl living in New Zealand. I first began to notice a dip in my mood when I was 12-13 but understandably at that age I couldn’t quite get what the feelings were a symptom of. I constantly hit what I thought was rock bottom only to find myself continuing to slide down. I spend years battling it, as well as an accompanying eating disorder, and finally recovered fully in 2013.
I decided to leave home in order to continue my recovery journey. I have been living on my own for the […]
Honestly I’m wishing I didn’t have a reason to be on here… but I do. Im a 20 year old college graduate, but I can’t get a job in my field to save my life…. you’d think it wouldn’t be so hard. I work at a grocery store stocking shelves…. I didn’t go into debt for this. Not to mention these people make me question the ounce of sanity that I have left. I haven’t touched a blade to my skin in 9 months. That’s saying something. Of course I get my share of bruises and burns from work but its not the same. I […]
As I read the stories about all the horrible things some of you have experienced, it makes me think about why those things have happened. It is NOT because you are ugly. It is NOT because you arent worth it. It is NOT because you aren’t kind, or smart, etc. There are people out there who are just bad people. They see your sadness as a vulnerability and take advantage of that to poison you with hatred. Do not let them win, do not let them turn your sadness into bitterness. Love always stands strongest in the end. This will be the last time that […]
Everything just seems to be going wrong. I don’t know who I am and am not even really sure who I want to be. I guess you could just say that’s my age I’m 19 going on 20. So that’s reasonable. I feel down. I feel like no one understands me . I feel like am becoming distant from those I love. I can’t enjoy life. It sucks right know. It really has since I turned 12 and just got progressively worse. I feel better about myself personally as time has gone on. Its just I feel inexperienced and less mature in the ways of […]
I don’t understand myself. I am truly privileged; I have a family that puts me in their best interests, friends who care about me, I’m not poor, not sick, I live an average middle class life and I have no hope for it.
A future that would satisfy me is not realistic. In order to anticipate the future I would have to be a different person and be extremely lucky. I dread the future and feel haunted by the past. A friend told me to focus on the present but I struggle to find pure happiness in my present life.
I know what should make me happy […]
“You’re being selfish”, the words that any suicide debater wants to hear. Do they think this statement helps us. We already feel like a failure, or dumb, or fat, or ugly, or useless, but now we are selfish, thanks so much for the added negative title! In my perspective, they are the ones being selfish! They want me to keep living in this miserable world. They are not living my life, so to me they are the ones being selfish. I am already at a breaking point , does people dealing with a suicide debater, really think adding another negative title to my persona helps? […]