It dawned on me a moment ago that its very possible it could happen. Although I’d like to think you’re a stronger person than that, I felt I had to tell my end of it..
When you left me here alone, you took a part of me I can never get back. Not just your love and affection and the world beneath my feet.. But you took away my reason to fight, my reason to live. And because you knew it would destroy me, and still felt it was for the better, that part of me that fought for something more left with my undying […]
Tag:
my life
I felt life should end upon the last argument with my spouse, who accused me of thinking I’m superior to him, that I look down on hime because he is a black man, despite that we share the same race; and finally, calling me the b-word, saying f- you over and over again, telling me to go to hell, and calling me a drug addict and racist. I do not take any drugs. My life as you can all see, is a nightmare, and death will be a mighty fine relief. If you are a friend of mine, please look out for my daughter. I […]
AN: I just joined this website and this was something that I wrote a while back when I was down.I don’t happen to have any mental disorders or abnormalities and the disorders written in here are merely words that flowed into my mind when I was down. I don’t mean to offend anyone here , I’m just sharing my poem. It’d be great if anyone replied though…
The horrors of my mind,
they haunt my days and night.
I’m afraid to close my eyes,
for I know that it is there where they reside.
I’m so empty that it scares me.
Purplish bruises form below my eyes,
I hardly sleep
and yet I […]
I could be ending it all here. Not now, but soon, I just have to find the right time and method. One method I’ve been thinking about was overdose on fluoxetine and strepsils (hopefully they’ll kill me). I tried hanging but I can’t tie a noose for shit, I have no access to guns at all, and I couldn’t be able to drown myself nor could I find a heavy object to tie to my feet. But that’s beside the point, the point is that I could take my life pretty shortly. I just feel like everything’s falling apart and that if I die now […]
So I have never blogged before but I figured it might help to get some of this stuff off my chest.
Where to begin???? Well currently I am going through a divorce from the mother of my 2 youngest children and I have no one to blame but myself.
I love her so much but have hurt her over and over again throughout the last 6 years. I have been unfaithful more times than I can count and I deserve for her to leave me. I would have left me a long time ago. She is the most beautiful, patient and forgiving woman ever. She is the […]
I thought I was just depressed because I wasn’t active enough, so recently I’ve been hanging out with old friends and I got a job and started working out but even though I’ve made all of these steps I still feel depressed and suicidal almost every day. I still want to end this pain that I can’t find the source of and still want to shoot my stupid face.
I fucking thought that I could be helped and that I could find the solace I’m looking for but, no matter how many people I can bond with, no matter how many girls I aimlessly flirt with, […]
My life is on a steady decline.
I’ve had depression and anxiety all of my life, along with being fairly intelligent with an above-average aptitude for lateral thinking. I could always enthrall myself with studying random areas of science or mathematics for the sheer pleasure of learning, and I followed through with most everything that I was trying to learn. I had motivation and optimism for my future as I progressed through high school as a relatively happy (sort of) and healthy teenager.
Then came the turn. My girlfriend and I went to separate colleges. The long-distance relationship couldn’t last, and she ended it. I ended up […]
3 failed over dose attempts, i tried again last night,
just feel so empty and lost,
without my only support (my nan)
who passed away about a year ago
now the time is nearing and its getting me down
having arguments with people whom i care about just adds to the pile of crap which seems to be my life.
Ive been in this bed for almost a year. I cant seem to make myself go outside and be a normal person and have a life. Almost every day I think about killing myself since i am a burden to my family and boyfriend. I am unmotivated and have social anxiety i dont know what to do with my life or even know where to start. The George Washington bridge all ways seems to be calling to me and the only thing that keeps me from going over the edge is the fear of what if i survive and making everyone i care about sad. […]
I always feel guilty about committing suicide. Not because of the people I will leave behind but because I feel like I’m wasting life. I always wish I could give my life to someone else, like a dying child or a dying mother or anyone who is dying and wants to live really. Someone who would appreciate it and live it better than me. I wish that were possible, I think it would make it easier.
Im a femake,20yrs old ive tried to commit suicide all throughout my life since i was about 9 …growing up here i was made fun of for being fat and not speaking English….as a 9 yr old it sukd… i grew out of it n blended in a lil around jr high… but still i was made fun of for being fat… as i started highschool noone really cares about that anymore. .. but wen i was 16 i had my first bf .. he fuckd my hole wold up he would beat me… he would rape me… alot of times with his anger management […]
How long until it gets better? I have struggled with bipolar depression for the last 2 years, severely. I wake up and I think about dying, I go to sleep and I think about dying. I just moved so I don’t have a therapist or psychiatrist yet but I have had both and went to them both every single time. Therapy once a week and the psychiatrist as needed. It’s not like I have done nothing to fix me… I even admitted my OWN self into the hospital to get better. I’m still sooooo severely depressed. No matter what I do it has not seem […]
yes, I survived, It’s been one year tonight since the paramedics revived me, I was dead for nearly 5 minutes, spent several in a coma – most days I wish they hadn’t revived me, my life has gone into a worse spiral since. I’m more alone now than ever and the process a year ago has left many distant and detached… but I survived, I struggle daily to stay positive, forcing smiles, false hope – but it always seems to be futile. I wonder if it really is all worth it, major depression, a neuro-muscular disorder, and an inoperable brain tumor – got lot’s of […]
all i can think on my commute is, if i just step off the platform if i just jump in front of the train, my pain will go away. I’m too much of a coward to do that. i can’t stop tearing up at work, then i was out with my parents and started crying in front of everyone, they just thought i was sad to see my family friends move, sure i am extremely sad about that, but my sadness for myself is much worse. I’m completely miserable to the point i can’t take it anymore. i just want to scream and beg everyone […]
ive never want to cut so much in my life,
to feel that cool red liquid pour out of a fresh cut,
to feel that moment of relief,
to see the blood give in,
to see the blood turn to scabs then the scabs to scars,
its the best way to cope,
the only way i know,
because im sick of living this life,
tired of who i am
I have felt this way for a week now. I just don’t want to be here anymore. I have been depressed for 5 plus years. The reason is I have a very sick parent and they are getting worse. But. Then this girl came into my life and everything finally seemed to go up for me. I was happy again. I never thought I would feel that way again. I had someone for the first time in my life I could trust and talk to about everything. I could be myself around her and even show my real me and cry. She’s my everything and […]
Why do my days get worse and worse I never have anything good in my life ever and I never will. Any time I find something or someone that makes me happy it gets takin away from me. Why live my life everyday miserable and never actually live my life. Iv been alive for 22 years now but I never lived one day yet…. Why would I keep dealing with this? I have no one and nothing to live for. I’m meant to kill myself, I’m just too scared to like a coward I wish I can have the strength to just kill myself and […]
maybe I just don’t understand myself or perhaps my perception has been distorted to the point where I can’t recognize the familiarities in me, but I just don’t know. I don’t know where my life has gone and the prospect of where it’s going scares me. I don’t know what to say, my thoughts are jumbled and hard to articulate, those emotions are ineffable and I can’t stand their presence.
I’m longing for a life I never had or perhaps a life that I feel I no longer have the ability to conceive, a life I can’t even fathom or translate into words. the world around […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Yiruma-Moon-Light.mp3
I’m tired. I’m just tired.
I’m tired of food. I’m tired of television. I’m tired of work. I’m tired of school. I’m tired of going outside. . I’m tired.
Anytime someone asks how I am, my answer isn’t “I’m fine”
The answer is “I’m tired”
I’ve lost any shred of hope that I might of had. And I don’t see the point.
And the funny thing? I’m tired…but I can’t sleep.
I guess I’m not physically tired. I’m mentally and emotionally tired.
I don’t know what to do with my life anymore.
I don’t feel like going anywhere. I don’t feel like talking.
I seriously […]
Hey,
Just had the typical rush of negative thoughts and events of my life come at me. It really makes me quit…and just want to go somewhere peaceful and alone…not my home.
What I wish in life is just me being in this peaceful place in nature by myself…just to think and watch. That would make my life perfect.
Unfortunately, I am in a confined state of mind. All I do is study for classes for undergraduate (pre-med), which I like, but cannot stand the stress.
What do you wish?