I swear that even the fucking teachers here are trying to make my life miserable on purpose. The one time I actually find a place where I can sit at lunch where no one can mess with me I’m of fucking course not allowed to be there.
Tag:
my life
Why is it that I always ruin everything? It’s like I can’t appreciate any good in my life. I’ve only ever had one boyfriend that I’ve truly felt love, and I managed to completely fuck that up. I always get this feeling when I’m with someone long enough that I’m ‘better’ than them, not that I even like myself anyway. It’s a curse and it ruins everything but there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
I’m a disgusting person who can’t make and keep friends and the one friend I have, must be a saint for being there for me (not that we regularly […]
I’ve decided that with the two outcomes of this year I have given myself, depending on how the year goes, I need to move out of state at least halfway through the year. I need to get away from my life here and make a new one if I can. If I can’t, I want to put space between myself and the people in my life. I need to create a barrier to where they will blame themselves less. I will put myself in an area where I only have to occasionally check in with them. I will make a new life. I will try […]
This will be my 3rd post since discovering this website yesterday… I feel so alone and hopeless In life and I do want to face the pain anymore. After losing the only love of my life to someone else is Undescribable. I have been researching different methods on how to end my life peacefully. Yesterday I research the helium hood for around 12 hours. I have now opted for the ******** method… How long it will take for me to execute I have no idea until I summon the courage to do it I guess.. This is the only option I have as obtaining a […]
I am a student, and older than my other classmates it makes me feel so much inferior that sometimes i dont like to go to classes, and secondly i look older than my age that is an issue too. one of our teacher calls us daily at the podium and asks us to discuss that is highly embarrassing for me facing daily cause my english is not good. a lot of things i have to face daily in class, sometimes i feel to end my life. not able to find any way out. i have backlogs that i have to clear in near future, there […]
It’s ironic for me to post here. I do not consider myself a suicidal person. Yet i have made the decision to end my life. So how could a person want to commit sucide and yet not be sucidial? Because deep down i wish i could live my hopes and dreams to get out of bed each morning see the world, delve into the debts of the mystery of the cosmos and kiss the ones i love. A person who is depressed usually loses the desire for all this. But sadly i have not, i want it more than ever. Why sadly? Because the only […]
I feel so sad and broken right now , it’s like my life is based on disappointment after disappointment. The year of 2015 was so tough, i’ve been feeling so unhappy. I’m graduated in a not so glamorous course in college, so it was not a surprise when i didn’t find a good job, having to accept any office sh** that appeared to me with a small paycheck, and by the way i hate every second of it.
Suicidal thoughts come often to my mind, but i never had the courage to do it, anyway sometimes i feel like i can’t handle that bad feeling […]
I don’t even know how to describe this past weekend. I was sorta suicidal, but more really I just wanted to hurt myself. I took a lot of klonopin, which I think might’ve made me psychotic.
My ex called the cops on me, afraid that I’d kill myself. I had been hiding in our old apartment when the cops showed up at the door. I was scared – and this is the main reason I think I might’ve been psychotic- so I jumped from our 7th floor balcony onto the 6th floor balcony. Thinking about it now makes me cringe. I have a slight fear of […]
Hello, this is my first post on this site, I’ve seen a few on here and can feel so much of what others have written. I am at the point of trying to figure out what the f the point really is. We live in a very judgmental world, eveyone has opinions of what they think is right and wrong and try and force it on you. I’m tired of seeing all the terrible things we as “people” do to each other, and I do count myself in that too, I am guilty at times of passing judgment also, I try and catch […]
don’t try to act like we’re pals. i don’t even know you. who the fuck do you think you are, waltzing into my life all of a sudden? you fucking stranger. you’re not welcome. i bet you think you bring redemption upon me. well it’s too fucking late for you. you were never around when i needed you. now you can politely go fuck yourself. don’t act like you’re a big shot. you’ve had your whole life to make everybody hate you. now suffer. and stay away from my new family or i’ll cut you to pieces i swear. i’ll fucking kill you.
I haven’t posted in a while, but last time I did I was contemplating on ending my existence. At the time I did not have a reliable method and decided to delay the process. I recently bought an illegal handgun and plan on taking my life tonight with one of the most lethal methods possible. If I do survive then I know I’m going to be suffering severe injuries and may end up worse than I am now, but I’m willing to take that risk. Everybody knows that guns and suicidal individuals don’t mix very well, but it’s only a matter of time before I […]
hey.
so, I’ve been married a year and a half. Everything seemed fine. These past couple months my husband has been telling me that I’m fucking useless, I dont care about his house, he married me because i was desperate, I need to lose some weight, I should only use only room in the house, we shouldn’t have gotten married, he jokes about leaving and cheating on me. He’s called me stupid multiple times. I’m tired of walking on egg shells because I don’t know what will set him off. I’m tired of going to sleep crying every night because of the worthlessness I feel.
if this […]
Hi. I’m french, so sorry if I make a lot of mistakes.
I don’t think that I want to end my life. I can’t say that I really hold to her, but idk.
But I hate my life, I always hated her. I hate my personality, I hate to be so irritable and so stupid. I play with my life, I’m the kind of persons who always think to do something, but never act. Then I always regret that, but I don’t do anything to change. I act as if I don’t care about what peoples think of me, but finally I need the approval of others. […]
4th Jan 2016
I’m currently having some severe symptoms of anxiety (or which I think severe, but may not be so).
Feeling low again, extremely low..
I need someone to talk to.. someone to hug. I’m not even strong enough to cry right now.
I know I should go to a doctor for the satisfaction of my mind’s queries. I cannot answer them all by myself.
What should I do? What should I do??
Panic…. Panic….
I think my life is over. My life is literally over.
I’m telling honestly, from my heart.
I feel like I cannot cope with all the problems I have. My […]
I don’t really know how to start this post or how to explain but since I don’t feel comfortable enough trying to talk to anyone I might as well put my thoughts out into the open. The only way to explain it is that I’m simply tired of being alive. I wouldn’t say I was suicidal as I very highly doubt I would ever find it in me to take my own life, however I don’t fear death and if it happened then that’s that. I wake up every day feeling like I’m simply trying to kill off time, like I’m not making any use […]
would it be so bad if I committed to an attempt? I feel so shit all the time and it’s stuff that has been present all my life, it’s something that I know isn’t going to improve to normal levels. For example I’ve always been cynical, now I’m super cynical but I don’t see myself becoming someone who just isn’t cynical. Oh sure it can get better but it will always be there and it’s going to eventually cause me to fall down again
So would it be bad if I just make an attempt?
And what if it’s someone that I know has a high success […]
All my life I’ve studied and worked like a dog to achieve success. Now, at 27, from the outside, it looks like everything is perfect – money, friends, girls. Inside, however, I’ve been battling anxiety for 9 months now. Every day I wake up and I dread the next bedtime. I fear I won’t be able to sleep well and everything I built up will slowly turn to dust as insomnia destroys my life.
Then, most nights, I actually do sleep well. The fear stays, though, and gnaws at me constantly. People say, “Let’s meet next week!” And I’m not certain I’ll make it to next week.
I envision catching […]
Hello. Nice to meet you. This happens to be my first post here.
This justa lameass rant. It’s probably not worth your time. Okay, so I’ve been going through this website for a while. I made an account but I let it go though because things started looking up. I thought this year would have been great but … Shit happened. I have two amazing friends both have gone through tough spots and understand me.
One of them has gotten depressed recently. He’s about a month older then me but I think of him as a younger brother. He tried to commit suicide. He was asking about […]
For some reason, one of the things I really want in my life is to be abused. I want to be mentally and physically abused by someone because I feel like I deserve it. I feel like I don’t deserve to be in a healthy relationship with someone. I need to be in a relationship that is destructive and I don’t know why.
I stopped posting here while i waited for some supplies. I got things situated and waited. So here’s the story.
Tonight, i drove an hour and a half to pick up 100$ worth of high grade heroin. Ive never done it before in my life. My daughter is with my mother, i am home alone. I am cleaning house and organizing things to be found that need to be found. The grief that struck me in the truck on the way home was like nothing I’ve experienced in my life. I have my death in my pocket. To stand on the precipice, look down, and […]