today again…something bad happened which was not supposed to be happened…whole family,friends and the world is against me…they don’t wana accept who i love…im broken into pieces and if my loved one’s will go apart from me then i seriously need to stop breathing…pllllsss God help me! not to save my life but to stay with my dad up in heaven…feel like killing myself again!!!
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my life
Today I completely forgot that I had a quiz due in one of my classes, because why the fuck would I worry about school when I can’t even with my mental illness. Anyways. I emailed my professor once I realized I hadn’t done it and told her I wasn’t going to be in class due to me being sick and whatnot. That ***** still didn’t want to accept my quiz. Well a loss for you.
My phone went off at the library at 9 a.m. which is the time that I have to take my meds .. I didn’t. Instead I spend my hour and thirty […]
ha-ha! I’ve got tears in my eyes.
I’ve been laughing perpetually for the last 3-4 months. I can hear this crazed, deranged laughter in my mind whenever I start to think about the fact that I’m still alive. Nothing matters to me, and some deep down part of me finds it hilarious that I have to live without purpose (the same part of me that laughs when old people fall). I could inject some meaning into my life, but that’s the last thing I want. I don’t want anything to do, people to talk to, or anything really. Just silence, that’s all I care for.
I made […]
Hi! I’m going to remain anonymous but I’m a 13-year-old bigender person who has never really been happy. I doubt I’ll ever post here again because I have other places to vent (where I’ve posted this, but I feel really bad so I’m gonna write it again. For some reason it makes me feel better), and I prioritize those places. Anyway, here is me.
I was born to my dating high-school-sweethearts mother and father. They lived with my mom’s mother for two years after that before getting an apartment together (with me, of course). They didn’t love each other anymore. My dad says they weren’t even […]
Why is he still with me.. He said he doesn’t have fun.. That I need to grow up.. That I’m going no where in life… If he thinks all this how can he love me and how can he stay with me..
This all makes me wonder if I can’t even make the love of my life happy.. How am I ever gonna be happy?
I’m different now, my heart beats for no one no emotion… I feel nothing but the annoyance of this world… I couldn’t die I was found with over two months of meds in my stomach they pumped them out… After a week they let me go of course I’m watched but… No one knows… The me that was hurt… The me that was weak, bullied, destroyed every way possible… Has returned the hunter… I don’t want my life for me… I want to take back what millions have lost… Millions commit suicide every year… I will take back the lives we lose… I don’t care […]
Spent the past weeks in hospital after yet another failed attempt at taking my life. I wanna turn my life around. Maybe it ain’t my time to go yet. I’m still going to give life another shot. Got a great job offer. Will start as soon as I leave the hospital.
Suicidal thougts still linger in my head but I made them my ally now. They are pretty managable. I still hope to work to earn enough money for a peaceful exit. But until then, there’s a lot of ass I gotta kick and there’s also a whole lot of ass to admire lol. 🙂 I […]
Since I was 6 years old I wanted to be like everyone else, I was always very shy, hated hanging out with guys cause they were mean to me, only girls were nice to me at the time. I felt inferior to everyone around me, I am very sensitive to everything and it just annoyed people because of it. My grades always sucked at school, I was stupid and sometimes just tried to annoy people cause people hated me anyways. I always felt like I am ugly, and hate mirrors or any reflection of any kind cause I can’t look at myself. Around 5th grade […]
I have been told by many “you’re not alone, things will get better” and I’m not saying this isn’t true, but can someone tell me the steps they have taken to feel better? Because I’m oblivious to what I should be doing. I’m taking my meds, going to talk therapy, I’ve talked to whoever will listen, I’ve tried just thinking positive, but negativity is all that runs through my veins. I don’t mean that in the sense that I hate everything and everyone. I say it in the sense that I cannot see any good in myself or my life. I’ve always been like this. […]
I’m tired of punching walls, I’m tired of feeling sad, I’m tired of having an empty burn inside my chest, I’m tired of hearing voices, I’m tired of being surrounded by people who don’t know my name. I’m tired of wanting to end my life every single day. i really wish i wasn’t so tired..
I’ve been at work since seven
I haven’t been able to even think about work clearly, because my mind is reminding me about my relationship
Reminding me of how stupid I am
How being a female, who’s over emotional already, shouldn’t act crazy for attention
How I made the love of my life walk away from me
How I asked him to please come back to me and he told me I was killing him…
but little does he know is that he’s killing me.
I found a box of razor blades.
one cut for every time I’ve called
their not big or deep cuts but they hurt
I’m not good at pain
idk what to […]
I’ve left my fears behind. Now I’m purely fuelled my anger and sadness. I was never good enough for anyone, and that was okay with me because I didn’t need to be.No, correction. I was never good enough for YOU. You stupid, terrible parents that pushed me to my breaking point and every time I built something for myself, you would knock it down and then ask me why I couldn’t build anything. I didn’t want this life. Everything I did I did for you. Straight As. 4.5 GPA. Getting into one of the top schools in the world. Student council president. Swim team. Band. […]
This is going to be my first post. I have read some posts from other people about various different things hoping it might lift my spirits up to know that I’m not the only person who feels like I do. But it doesnt. I feel better commenting back to people with positiviy, but I personally still fucking hate everything about myself and my life. I’m going no where fast. I feel like I’m just existing in this world. I’m not living. I would love to live. However, I don’t see that happening. It’s been too long feeLing like I do. Too many nights and days […]
Hey everyone, its been a year since I’ve been here. I’m back, more tired than I’ve ever been. Barely sleeping, although I lie in bed for hours and hours trying to drift off. Reading through all of your posts. You’re all phenomenal people, and thank you to all those who have so much compassion for others.
Worried for my friend who is suicidal and burdened by multiple mental illnesses. As for myself, I’m at a low point but I need to be there for certain people in my life.
Stay strong and take care, we’re here for you.
It’s been … Around 3 days since I stopped taking my medication.. I’ve been feeling really lightheaded throughout the day and I guess it’s something normal? I stopped because I dont think it’s doing any good to me or changing any thoughts of suicide and self harm. Of course my family and doctors don’t know that I’ve stopped, but my family has noticed me not feeling too good so I just told them the truth that I’ve been having some headaches and feeling lightheaded and whatnot but they don’t really give it too much thought. I’m going back to lying to my friends and family […]
i feel so empty and broken. i dont like seeing so many people so hurt. i try to help but i feel like im doing nothing. i just for once in my life want to be there for someone. im so alone no one trusts me pr accepts me.
as you all know, I attempted suicide Friday night and had to be taken by ambulance and then to the psyche ward. While I still believe that the mentally ill should choose only if they go to treatment, I think that many would opt out once they got finished. I was one of them. After 6 days of treatment, I would have refused euthanasia. I loved the group and they loved me. I never in my life got so much positive feedback from people who was suffering just like me.
there is a problem. I’m still an alcoholic. I drank today. I called my dad and […]
It’s hard for me to BE here…It’s hard to BE a person. I’ve been sad, hurting and lonely for so long, it’s changed me…… Forever. I don’t say the right things. I talk to much when I’m with “people,” because I’ve been desperately alone suffering for so long. I WAS a people person. People are mean. Life is mean. Kids are mean. Husbands are mean. I feel like I’m never good enough, there is a list being written. It’s a long list of my faults, of my mistakes, of my inadequacy. It’s like the damn Grocery List my family keeps adding to. It gets longer […]
Recently, I had to move back home to my parents. Three years ago it was just my parents, my little sister and me. My sister and I both had our own room. Then my older sister and her two children moved in, we only live in a three bedroom townhouse. My older sister got her own room because she had to share it with her two kids. My younger sister got her own room because she refused to share a room and my parents wouldn’t make her. So I was forced out of my room and I had to sleep on the living couch/ floor […]
When I feel as though I’m a burden or am not doing good enough for this world, for those in my life or those I love, I feel worthless. And I spiral down to nothingness. My thoughts and feelings become a relentless battle of why I no longer need to be here in this world.
I feel like I am not good at anything. Or good enough. My boyfriend deserves so much better. I know that if I weren’t here, I’d eventually be forgotten about, no one would have to worry about me anymore, and I wouldn’t negatively affect anyone else’s life anymore.
People like […]