When I was growing up my life was fine until my dreams turned into night mares by nights got longer and afternoons got shorter. when I was 12 I starting cutting my wrist because I was bullied in school mostly by boys, (im a girl) It was a time where I wanted to commit suicide in the school bathroom with my belt but I was a cow ward and didn’t go through with it. By 13 I was cutting both wrist an legs I knew I was supposed to eat but I would just drink water for days and not eat anything. I got a […]
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my life
I just moved from home, in an attempt to save enough money for a college I can’t afford, to an entirely new city. I’ve been excited to move away from that place all my life, but now I feel crippled by adult responsibilities. My rent is 700, and I need to get a job immediately.
But with no job availability, and no experience to speak of in regards to city work, I’m stuck. Without a job, I can’t get insurance, which I need for a psychiatrist, and then for meds.
I need a car to get a job out of town, which I need a job to […]
. there is no way I can turn my life around. I’ve failed and I’ve accepted that. I didn’t think I’d even make it this long. At some point soon, I will go into the ocean, and finally be free. Ive accepted that my time is done. we can’t all be saved. time to let go
Apparently, people care about me, apparently I should be happy, apparently, I have lots of friends now.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha…
Since I finished school last year, only one of my ‘friends’ is thoughtful enough to talk to me just because… and no one else actually cares, I never get invited to anything, I’m always the last to know anything, that is, if I find out to begin with, even among people like me, I’m not particularly welcome, but when they need me for something, I’m a dick if I say no, and when I need them, they always bail or half-ass it, because I’m simply not worth it.
I’m just […]
I haven’t really gotten a chance to vent to others. Most of the time I’m too afraid to actually spill what’s on my mind to those closest to me, or my thoughts are too jumbled that I can’t really describe what I’m feeling very well so I have to brush it off and say ‘oh it’s nothing, don’t worry about it’ or ‘it’s a long story’. So when I saw this site I was pretty happy because not only can I actually say what I’m actually thinking without the fear of being stigmatized, but I can actually help myself cope by sharing everything that’s been […]
I’ve been so focused on trying to be successful that I haven’t really been depressed as usual.Ever since my friend has came from jail he feels like I owe him.(long story)?The thing Is I’m a different person from a year ago.A year ago I was still lost,I didn’t know how to go on when my ex left me.Today,I just want to retire my mom & be successful.Its kinda Ironic that I’m In ?the life Insurance business but there’s times when I want to take my life.I cant kill myself now.Even after these past couple of months working 8 commission jobs & I have nothing […]
Why movies are better than reality ? Why movie is better than reality ? Why reality is boring ?
by niki
written by niki
Why movies are better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why movie is better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why reality is boring ?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality ( human’s fantasy is better than reality )
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, X-Men, Marvels & DC universe / movies , The Avengers , Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Naruto, Bleach, […]
I’ve never wanted to kill myself more in my life.
I just feel like a giant roadblock in everyone’s way. My stress is tearing my body apart and we can’t afford insurance for medical care so that’s just another burden on my family. I feel like a waste of life and space and money and energy. I want to disappear. Run away. Die.
Just be out of the lives and out of the way of the ones I love.
After all, they’re going places and I’m not. I’m just dead weight.
I’ll have a drink for that. Another thought about my ex-fiancee, I’ll have a drink for that too. Another thought about my deceased loved ones, there’s a drink for that. Just a little sip, oh look some anti-anxiety pills I’ll have to take those too. Looking at my life, the past the present and the future and having absolutely no idea where I am going to be, there’s a noose for that…
I have recently been having some pretty intense nightmares, including waking dreams, which are the most horrific series of events, emotions, and imagery that persist after you wake up. The thing that makes these dreams so incredibly petrifying is the relief you would normally feel upon waking up is shattered by the persistence of the thing you fear the most appearing in reality. Sometimes they fizzle out quickly, alternatively there are times I lay in bed for over an hour trying to figure out my reality, it’s as if I completely dissociate from reality, and I am unable to distinguish things that clearly aren’t real […]
I’m sick of feeling sad all the fucking time. I’m sick and bloody tired. There are some days where I think ‘how could I have possibly felt that sad?’ but then it all comes rushing back.
I don’t have the right to be sad. My life is a breeze compared to other people’s lives. And it makes me feel like my problems are inferior, which in some ways they are.
I got my English Literature AS result today, and I got a B. And I’m not happy with it. I should be, considering I’ve taken it a year early, and that’s like an A at […]
I don’t consider myself as being mentally ill but doctors seem to think that suicidal people are just that. All I believe is that suicide is right for me and yet I will be considered mentally ill with being locked up as a possibility. I am not like an animal clinging onto life no matter what purely because of instinct; I am an intelligent human being that has come to believe suicide is right for me through logic and with thought. Life is meaningless at the best of times, others can’t see this because they have so much going on around them, I have little […]
I’ve been on and off in this site for the past four years. I remember creating and deleting a couple of accounts, writing and trashing my posts and I have been doing the same with my life too. I cry, cry and cry and then force myself to go back to my pathetic life thinking it might actually get better someday. I break down into pieces and then collect myself and find a little courage to get it going. I am already tired of repeating the same thing over and over again when its not going to take me anywhere at all. I have lost […]
Hey everyone, I don’t wanna waste your time with this one so I’ll be quick. I want to die, and personally feel that all those people trying to prevent suicide are inhumane. They say it’s never the answer, that your family will miss you, there’s so much to live for. Well, I won’t miss my family, they are the ones who’ve made my life a living hell with overbearing expectations, as well as giving birth to a child who never asked to be born with the body, and mind they have. I probably sound ungrateful.. and I don’t disagree with that, but the bad things […]
i let everybody down.
my arrogance is to blame.
my over confidence,
as well as the disillusion of actually being able to excell at anything that would be useful.
what am i now?
nothing.
i have done nothing worthy of note
and yet i have managed to convince all who know me into thinking otherwise.
i am not intelligent
i am not good at sport
neither am i good looking or funny
i am the definition of a disappointment.
i will probably achieve nothing with my life.
I have come to terms with my lack of real importance
as well as all who i have […]
I don’t come on this site often, only when I feel shitty. Please try to comment if you can so I can get as much advice as possible. I was given a load of shit when I was born and honestly, not one single thing has changed. I have a sister that has mood swings and has some form of autism, my mom wants me to be her slave, among other things. I mentioned in my last post about my mom being in a wheelchair and I don’t mind helping her, but she does nothing else for me. My dad lets me do stuff with him […]
Thank you guys to support me.. But i couldn’t help myself and i am ending with all hopes with my life..
Just need some courage. I am shivering with sweat on whole body. The cutter in hand falling down. I wish i will get successful on the way of hell or heaven. I wish i would have live more with my love. I really wish. Please god make me die in his arms.
My name is Hannah, I’m 22 and I plan on ending my life. It may not be today, tomorrow, a week from now or this month, but it will happen. I already have it planned out. I know exactly how I’m going to go. I’ve written a will and what and who I want at my funeral, not that it matters since I wont be alive to witness it. I’ve done my research if I will go to heaven or not and I got the answers I need.
I have everything going for me, why would I do such a thing to my loved one? I […]
Hey everyone.
I’m a 22 year old guy with a boy and girl of 8months old *twins* and a wife my age. We have both full time jobs *i work in the morning, she in the evening, other week rotation.*
I love my wife very much, she’s from another country as mine, last few weeks it went downhill for us, we argue alot, fights, and I became in some kind of depression, I wanted to make her happy, instead of us. I did everything to do that, only making my life miserable.
I have alot anger in myself, in the years I dont say what I want to, […]
Trying to make my life more tolerable has resulted in me getting hurt once again. I was the “oops” baby, and i see that my parents try to accept me…But i know they never wanted me from the beginning. I have this indescribable feeling of emptiness that no professional, technique, or exercise can help with. I’ve used sex to coop, sex is great but it doesn’t change the reality of my problem. I’m tired of crying myself to sleep; thoughts of my future, my past, my family & friends, even my own funeral consume my mind. Im a strong person, but this pain inside of […]