there I was on the beach, it was around 5:30 AM, I had been drinking, reflecting on my life and experiences, getting ready to do the deed (my shotgun was hidden in a tennis racket bag) when all of a sudden this man come’s walking on by (looked to be in his mid-thirties). I was very surprised because It was still pretty dark outside and pretty dead out with no people but we both make eye contact and say ‘Hey’. I think it’s going to end there but it doesn’t, he asks me what I’m doing all alone on the beach, and I replied with […]
Tag:
my life
i hate my life so much . I want to commit suicide ! And I cut , I have. Scarves in my wrists that you can see , you can tell . I hate my life . I want to suicide.
The slam poetry scene in my state has been a veritable haven when I can actually get myself to attend an open mic/slam feature night. I hope this poem can help at least one person like it did for me.
Kait Rokowski – “A Good Day”
http://youtu.be/TjjaIwVxfTw (to see her recite it)
Yesterday, I spent 60 dollars on groceries,
took the bus home,
carried both bags with two good arms back to my studio apartment
and cooked myself dinner.
You and I may have different definitions of a good day.
This week, I paid my rent and my credit card bill,
worked 60 hours between […]
It is not so much that I want to die, it is that I have no will to live. I should feel very blessed with everything that I have in my life. I have an excellent job and live in a beautiful home that I built with my own two hands. I achieved a lot of success by the time I was 25. My problem is that I now no longer have a purpose to live. With no purpose, what is the point? I am so alone and depressed all the time. I feel like I am taking up space on this earth that is […]
So I guess on this post ill tell you about something that has been wrong me for years. I was diagnosed with cancer at age 7, for about two years I was on radiation and it was hell. I puked alot, I stunted my growth, made me really skinny, and I’m small in body size and it stopped me from doing things I wanted to do. I got picked on for having cancer through my life up until now (18yrs)
Each time I think of it an how it affected me makes me cry so much because I wish I was normal. It’s even hard […]
my life is so empty. i don’t have friends. i don’t have a relationship. i have no love in my life. i need to be loved but i’m too ‘weird’ and ‘ugly’. i’m tired of people telling me to love myself. i don’t need to love myself, i need to be loved by someone else. i cannot stand to even think about if i have to spend the rest of my life alone. i’d have to kill myself. a lot of people would think that’s overdramatic, but it’s true. you know how some people need music and some need good food and some need art […]
I hate my life. Since childhood ive been neglected, hurt, lied to, and abandoned. I dont see a purpose to go to school and go to work everyday if we just die at the end. Ive tried to kill myself a numerous amount of time and everytime i look back i cry and say to myself “I was so close, i wish it would’ve taken me.” I just want to fucking die. I dont want to live anymore. Im tired all the time and no one knows what to do.
I just want to die today I’ve been hit with the most painful
Feelings, I can’t keep this up, I can’t keep feeling life is not going to get better. I would prefer to be dead. I can’t eat barely sleep, I’m so distressed I did yoga before and all I could think about was please let me end this. I’ve got no stability , no security, an addiction, one that won’t leave its grasps. I know the reason why I want to die is because of the addiction. But I have tried hundred of times to give up, I’ve been to countless rehabs , […]
Just nothing like it.
Im so scared I dont know what to do……I’ve been in chronic pain now for 10yrs after a car accident made me have to have spine surgery. My life was great until that point……I was in college getting ready to graduate next quarter and I was working for a doctors office doing the work that I was in college for.
After the surgey I was unable to continue with class/work since it was excruciating to sit or stand for long periods of time and I would get horrible spasms and nerve damage caused a lightning type pain to run from my buttox down to my foot.
Well […]
I just got hit with a wave of emotion. I am really hard on myself, it started with spending too much money, then beating myself up, then calling myself a piece of shit. Then in the afternoon today I thought I haven’t spoken to anyone all day. I feel really alone, my life is a mess I don’t see any way out. I need work , I need to get off this small amount of opiates. I need some thing, I need total change but I don’t think its going to happen. I’ve lost every thing to live for and might have to give away […]
Here is the link to my recent post:
My head is much calmer now. Yesterday (Sunday for me) was the culmination of a week of total hell. I really felt like I was loosing my mind.
Many of you know I am a person of faith and that the propaganda of the fundamentalist tradition I was raised in, often plays havoc with my psyche. I now worship in a very inclusive and nonjudgmental faith tradition. As I have asked in the past, please do not disrespect me regarding this. I would NEVER do that to you.
So what happened yesterday? First of all, I […]
I need to know how many sleeping pills it takes to get knocked out, but not die. I need to see who cares. And don’t you DARE call me an attention whore. Its just my life is falling to pieces before my eyes. I can’t take it.
Hello everyone, when i first found this place, i thought it was going to give me some painless methods to end it all, and though i am scared of whats on the other side.. ( pagan but not sure). I still felt like my life was just getting to hard for me. It was not a matter of , was i too scared to face it or had lack of support. Its worse then that.
I have Borderline personality disorder, I have dissociative identity disorder, major depressive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, Obsessive compulsive disorder. Social anxiety disorder.
Thus, i am a walking mess and i […]
I am over living. I feel empty. I see other people smiling and being happy and I feel nothing. I feel like ending my life and disappearing. The only things i feel is sadness and pain. My family is threatening me if I don’t stop cutting they are sending me back to the hospital. I know they are trying to help but I like being sad and I like cutting. I have only felt sadness and pain and I am afraid if I keep living I am going to kill who I am because just being alive hurts. I want to be me when I […]
Hi, i’m guy from finland and i’m 17 years old. I wanted to tell someone about how i feel, but i dont have any good friends to tell about them and then i find this page. I hope this will help me keep going on because i have no idea what i’ll do with my suicidial thoughts.
I have lied to all of my closest friends and my family and now i think i should tell them about it but if i tell i dont know what will happend between me and them. I Think that telling about it will make my life harder and i’m […]
I have been depressed since I was very young. I’ve had bad and better periods, but it has always been there. I have accepted for awhile now that I will commit suicide at some point. The only thing that has ever held me back is the few people in my life who I care about, who care about me. I feel like a ticking time bomb, and that the longer I wait the more it will hurt others when I do it. I try pushing them away, but they see what I’m doing and try to comfort me by saying they care. They don’t realize […]
Sorry if the title sounds hopeful. It isn’t.
About two months ago, I made a minor attempt on my life (not particularly committed, more of a shake-up than anything) but, after a slow upwards curve after that point, my mind has returned to the well trodden trail it knows so well. I’m just miserable. It’s been something I’ve been ignoring, repressing, letting build up inside. I feel like a skimming stone, leaping in ever-descending arcs until I come to a halt (dumb metaphors, we got ’em). Every fall is harder, shaking my confidence more and more over time. Nothing works.
What am I but a leech, an […]
Hello:)
This will be a rather quick synopsis of my suicidal attempts and what led up to them and how I managed past them but the story should come across anyways.
First Attempt:
I was about 14 at this time, and had started cutting. it wasn’t “severe” as it was mostly little scratches. I would only “cut” when I was super overwhelmed with my situation, or emotions. I had been seeing a guy for about a year, and was infatuated with him. One day, he decided to tell me that he had been cheating on me with his ex, but that I shouldn’t be worried because he can […]
This is my second post on here. My first was a rant about my life. I just need a friend! Oh my god! I’m so sick of being lonely all the time. If I really pushed myself, I could get a job, stop being homeless, blah blah blah… but for what reason? I have nobody. Nobody cares. I cut myself, burn myself, drink to the point I pass out, and and I fucking hate myself so much.
I threw everything away and sacrificed college for a family that pushed me away. I lost my friends to my depression. I’ve tried replacing them with self harm and […]