Hello everyone. I am here to ask for your council. All I want to do is die. Today, I have the means to possibly accomplish this but I don’t know if I should try. There are so many factors. First problem is, I’m supposed to work tonight and all weekend. If I carry out my plan, if I were to fail, I’d be completely out of it for days. That’s another problem; failing. If I fail I’d be sent to a behavioral health unit. There are two reasons I don’t want this. One: I’ve been in them before and they don’t work (plus I work […]
I know it’s a bit late to start a new years resolution. But I decided the other day that I should start writing one or two good things that happen each day for a year and at the end read them all. Sounds like a good idea right? Sounds like it will make you notice the positive things in life, help become a more positive person. Not for me. It’s done exactly the opposite. I’ve realised what a miserable life I have, how cynical and negative I am. I can barely find a good thing that’s happened today and for me it was a busy […]
I’m very new to this site, I was searching for something a lot darker than this forum, and ended up finding this instead.
I relapsed the other night – hard – in every sense of the word. I began drinking again, I sliced my arms up, watching as the blood from my new wounds uncovered marks I made long ago; when I claimed I was done cutting and everything else the first time.
I hate this, I mean, I really loathe falling back into the same hole I promised I’d never find myself in again! But it’s whatever. I end up dead tomorrow, and nothing else would change. […]
“Happiness can be found, Even in the darkest of times , If one only remembers to turn on the light.”
I thought I would start off my update with one of my all time favorite quotes. Well I’m still breathing for one. I just started at my new college 2 weeks ago. Things have definitely been getting better for me. Though I’ve had a few bad moments including clawing and slitting my arms to the point that probably be marked for a good while. I could never handle stress well. My depressive thoughts have decreased though, Though I haven’t felt more alone in a long time […]
Hello my fellow SP users, this is your neighborhood unlicensed, untrained, and not so neighborly therapist. I hope some of you may remember my post from a while back. If not let me refresh your memory, it was an explanation of addiction and depression and other mental disorders such as OCD. I never told you all my story. The first time I can ever remember being suicidal was when I was ten years old or so, my brother and sister had been picking on me and my mom had yelled at me for it, I felt like hell and I wished desperately that the issues […]
1/16/15 This my first post on this profile. I had a previous one but could not log into it so this is my new one.
I had a shitty day Friday and it’s really hard when everyone says for me to “let it go” or “stop thinking about it, wait and see. Life will get better.” I’ve been told these things the past 7 years. I am almost 16, everything is boiling down to this one thing.
All my life I was abused, bullied and depressed. I don’t remember the last time I was ever fully happy. Every time I think about my past it just makes […]
I wanted to start over in life when i got out of high school but now i noticed i cant wait that long. If i want something i must fight for it, i cant just give up so easily. So today I’ve decided to put my life first for it is more important then getting messed up over things..im going to forget everything, today i am a new person no more crying, no more cutting or hurting myself…high school is where you make memories and thats what im going to do, im going to be myself and not being depressed or down. Its time for […]
dear sp, i just wanted to come and give an update on my current situation. things have been really sucky and i cannot seem to get ahead. the days are not bad cause i have places i can go, and things i can do. i am able to get on sp from our workforce computer but not at the librarey. they block it for some reason. its been two weeks now sleeping in the car in a walmart parking lot, and it is taking a serious toll on me. tanked really bad yesterday, and was not any better this morning. had decided to return the […]
Hi!
I got a new phone and need new music to listen too. Please recommend some songs that you like! Any type of music is fine.
Can anyone relate to the picture? Please comment!
Hi. It’s me again…
It’s been a few months… I’m officially sixteen woo! (anyone else sense sarcasm there?)
I found myself thinking of this place last night, while trying to force myself to sleep some so I thought “Hey, why not?” y’know? So, here I am again.
A lot has happened since last time I logged in, and I know I always seem to say that when I post, but it’s true.
I don’t know exactly how I feel about it, honestly.
So, if I didn’t mention it in my last post, my older brother and his family moved in with us, since they needed a “new” start… It was […]
Hey, sorry its been a while since I last posted on here It’s been busy over on my end with the holidays, work, and finishing the college transfer process….
I start at my new college on Monday I’m double majoring in Broadcasting and Art Therapy. I loved my old college but with what happened my freshman year even if I remained there I would never move up and be happy in what I want to do. I truly hope the friends I made there will understand why.
So pretty much I am starting off with a clean slate and a new chapter. Its kind of funny cause […]
I just had a friend tell me that it takes on average 3-6 months for someone to get a new job. I was fired on November 20th and have been on 11+ interviews with only one offer and it was for something I didn’t feel safe doing. I’m not even having the suicidal car crash fantasies but I ache right now. I see a therapist in about a week for an intake appointment and then maybe in a month I’d see a new psychiatrist for a med adjustment, but I know I need to go to the hospital. I just promised my husband that I’d […]
This is the real reason I know I have changed, I am in an extremely messed up situation and I’m not beating myself up over it. It’s shocking to me because I feel like I should, I feel like I should want to be dead right now, as if I should hate myself. I have made so many careless mistakes and now I am dealing with the consequences. I never slept around I had only been with 2 people my entire life. My ex and a new person that I had known for a few months before deciding to do that. Well some how I […]
Hey again. So most of you guys said to try to talk to my parents and possibly change schools or go to a counselor. Good advice but what I left out was I would talk to my parents, and they really would try to help me as much as possible, but they are the kind of parents who would be super concerned and constantly on my case. They are like that even when I’m just sick. I know some of you might say they might be calmer or understand, but they just don’t know when to let it go. I feel like telling anyone will make […]
Got totally drunk 2 days ago, have been throwing up ever since then, but today, finally feeling better, I can EAT! And finally sleep without the whole world spinning. Which is good, my mom was starting to think I was pregnant, ha, I’m 16, no thanks. I rather spend my time getting drunk and getting high. When it comes to drinking the first few sips are horrible, but as I get use to it, I start to slam them back. I finished a 6 pack in 2 hours. I would have been even more drunk if I wouldn’t have ran out of beer. Today my […]
A whole damn year has passed and to be honest I’m glad that it is finally about to be over! My 2013 leaked into my 2014 and to be completely honest 2014 was so very unkind to me truly it just screwed me over and over. Today is the day I say good bye to 2014 and leave all the horrible things that happened in the past. I want none of 2014 to even taint my 2015, because this truly will be a new start for me. I will be starting a year without the negative people and the negativity period, this year I will […]
For those of you with the strength or lust to shake things up in 2015; here’s some inspiration:
http://elitedaily.com/life/culture/resolutions-you-need-for-new-year/890253/
I feel that I have to hide a side of myself, that I have to pretend to be a person that I am not because it seems that society views people that suffer from a mental illness as being social outcasts, people that are dangerous or viewed as being weak.
It takes so much effort and energy just to exist. But, it seems that most people don’t see that effort as being enough. They don’t see that I’m giving 100% of myself to just be alive; they don’t see the daily struggle. To be a “normal” person I have to give so much more than 100%. It is entirely […]
I just don’t get life. I try to change myself to make me feel better and the people around but it only lasts for such a long time. I broke up with my boyfriend so he could do better but apparently he needs the support from someone because he’s a dependent person. And I am not. I just don’t get how he gets mad every single time I meet some new guy or something, I’m always telling him that I love him and I try to show it as much as I possibly can but it just doesn’t seem to work. And I’ve told him […]
so a lot of things have been changing lately for one im kinda homeless you know sleeping on a friends couch but im happy here nd they love me being here its lik when I was younger nd I used to stay with them ime really happy im here for now instead of with my sister which I will eventually be with her cuz that’s where the courts said I had to live but ill figure something out so I can stay happy annyywayy im engaged and I really love this guy im with his names cole nd hes amazing nd he loves me and […]