I can’t believe I’m so frustrated over sausage!! So the people I live with have been super nice and insisted I eat real food instead of live off of ramen. I think I’m gaining weight from not being so starved and having food besides ramen. Ramen is all I can literally afford on my own. But they made sausage in sour kraut 3 nights ago and have had me drooling over it. But then, it was to be saved for the next day. And then the next. And then the next. It’s driving me fucking crazy!! All I want is a god damned sausage! Geez […]
I can’t stand it when my mom comes home. She is usually home 2-3 days a week. She always has something bad to say to me. Today I mentioned to my parents about a stomach pain that’s been happening for almost a week now. And she told me I’m faking it. Its nothing. Just take some zantac etc. I’ve had stomach problems for the last two months on and off and still haven’t been to the doctors. My dad finally spoke up and said maybe I should go to the doctor. Anyways my mom…honestly sucks. She never has anything nice to say about me. It’s […]
Not sure if anyone has kept up with any of my posts. But back in October a very close relative I live with almost died, she stopped breathing. I had to perform CPR to try and keep her with me till paramedics arrived. She had a very slow and painful recovery and was released from the hospital a few weeks after. I made sure she took all necessary medications and constantly checked on her and made sure she was eating well. I took her out every sunday since then to have brunch at different places that she hasn’t been to. Because I figure some type […]
i wanna die and i’m peeved cause i can’t get myself to kill myself and also i’m peeved cause if i’m dead i won’t be able to appreciate how nice it is to not have to be alive anymore. i just don’t know what’s happening because now dying sounds sketchy but i don’t want to be alive either. IM ANGRY AT EVERYTHING
Hey guys. I realised something. I am young, so young. I am going to turn 20 on the 26th december. I have decided to let go all of my theories of atheism/creation and blah blah and do what makes me feel alive- Boxing and gym. I am also good looking an have nice muscles lel. I hope you find peace in this life, I am going to find it by boxing and gym and high protein diet like I use to do, I also recommend sport for you too. By making sport and having a well based diet you can overcome any problem . I […]
Is it just me orr what? I live life as the most friendliest person ever. Not because I think I should, but because I generally believe that being nice is worth so much more than being a rude inconsiderate individual. Being nice honestly hasn’t gotten me anywhere in life. People just seem to generally dislike me. I can’t tell you how many times people have tried to fight me, over just being a cool person to them. I’m not ugly, or shallow or prude. Everyone says I’m really good looking, but looks honesty don’t matter. I feel like if I wasn’t good looking, it might […]
Im lost. Feel like life just flipped upside down and idk what is going on or which way is the way outta here. I don’t know if it matters.
More materials have also mysteriously disappeared in the last week. I don’t know where they’re going or if it’s nice and sunny there, but it’s getting increasingly difficult to finish this project. Still have lots of paper. Maybe there’s a way to make walls out of that.
Well its less than 2 weeks away till thanksgiving the beginning of the holiday season and I am single for the first time in two years, feeling depressed from the overwhelming load of classwork and haunting thoughts from this time last year. I just feel so alone . To the point that I honestly think its pathetic. I mean I know I’m extremley pretty, nice, loyal, funny , hardworking and yet I am still here alone. I mean its bad enough that I sleep with the tv on just so I have a little bit of company at night. I am trying hard to stay […]
Only one reply? Ya’ll must be disgusted and disappointed with me. Yes I know I did bad. I went back to see how it would be. And it wasn’t so bad this time. Started off slow and little communication but picked up later on when the roommates showed up they’re actually cool people and I’m getting better at talking in a group and not sounding like a fucking idiot so that’s good too. But yeah I’m a sucker because I went back, brought food, and ended up rearranging my financial schedule a little to cover him for a little bit of bud because he gets […]
I don’t even know if you really like me. You seem to put an unusual amount of effort into trying to talk to me, but maybe that’s just the way you are. Maybe you’re just nice. You are nice. Always. Even when you seem miserable. Not in a shiny, happy, fake way, but a sad, resigned, kind way. You’re probably the most enthusiastic person I know, and you put so much effort into weird little gestures that no one really appreciates. It’s like you actually care or something. I don’t see that often. Sensitive people are rare around here.
I catch myself wanting to stop work and look […]
Hello everyone!!! I am really depressed. I have been thinking about killing myself for about a week now. Really it’s been going on for months, but lately I can’t help but think (why am I still here). Loft a week I wake up in deep emotional pain and physical pain and think “Why?!” Why am I trying to hold onto another horrible day.
I’m divorced, sad, lonley, and depressed. I don’t like it here anymore and I don’t see the point of living. I don’t have any family and so it really wouldn’t matter. Plus now that I’m divorced and alone, I’m not sure if I […]
Hey guys, I’ve been writing quite frequently here for a few weeks/months. Something has been troubling my life and I don’t know what to think about it, how I should feel about it, I don’t know what it is and I was thinking that maybe your thoughts might help me. I don’t need any psychologist’s or any doctor’s thoughts. Just thoughts from/by fellow human beings. As long as it is sincere, it is perfect. Here the “troubling thing”:
I haven’t really identified myself as a lesbian. The people I fell in love with have always been men. Sexually I’m stil more attracted to men. I am […]
I’m thinking about going back to therapy/counselling, as a way of trying to resolve my suicidal thoughts.
It’s not so much that I want to change, more that I want to clarify what I’m living for, and if that’s really a good choice.
I keep telling myself that suicide would be a terrible thing to do to my parents, and that my life’s not really that bad, but all it takes is a few days at work to make me miserable, and I start feeling like I can’t go on anymore. It’s become a weekly cycle.
I guess I’m looking to resolve those conflicting feelings – either to […]
Found it so difficult today. Have barely had the energy to move.
Slept most of the day managed to just about get myself showered and washed my hair. (After doing neither for 2 weeks…disgusting I know).
Feel like I could sleep for forever. Wouldnt that be nice? To not have to agonize over methods of suicide but to just fall to sleep and never wake up
I can’t silence the screams to jump, to crash my car, to cut so deep. The comfort I find in driving over a bridge, seeing a tall building or any other method of death is exhausting me.
I’m sorry for people reading this. […]
Yeah, thats just all im gonna say too lazy too late to type properly sorry just thoughts flowing. This is my first post although i visited this site for like about 2 years never felt the urge to post only to read stories of other people but i saw many nice people around here and i figured i want to help people too but at the moment im just feeling so damn hopeless im sorry for bugging…. i guess i post from now on regulary if you dont mind suicide Community.
Just an update my car is uncomfortable it does not have good lumbar support lol I’m sleeping in a Parking garage I’m hungry my neck hurts I have no money and I have a continuous headache I took a shower at my gym because I have not yet lost my membership I spend my day going to different subways until they kick me the fuck out so I can use the wifi to look for shit jobs because my data is very low. I’m […]
* lame mushy relationship problem* I met a nice guy, genuinely true and honest and down right lovely, described by his friend as the ‘virginest virgin’. we’ve been closeish friends for a year, and a week ago we found out we both liked each other. we are both awkward. its been so awkward. he knows all about me, my depression, suicide attempts, self harm, anxiety attacks, being sexually abused as a toddler and then being used for sex by paedophiles at 13. (now 18, new guy is a few months younger than me) I told him I’m not ready for anything physical and he seems […]
I just wish I could escape, to get out of here. To just walk endlessly and lie down and die. Just disappear. I’m so fucking done. All the people, all the people; my friends, people I don’t wanna know, people I used to know. I tried and I fucked up, I haven’t had my pills in about a week. I just feel like shit. Everything’s crashing down, gone, just pointless bullshit. I hope she’s okay, I’m just unable to be there for her right now like I should(?) be. I need a reprieve. I need sleep too but that’ll just lead to more school. She […]
I had a great heart to heart talk again with the guy I love last night. It’s never totally serious which is nice. There’s jokes here and there and he does try to be as kind as possible. He says it’s a big cosmic joke, the universe is just fucking with us and saying fuck you both because he just can never feel that way for me or be attracted to me no matter what but I’m the closest person he’s ever had, that we get along the best, and he trusts me more than he’s ever trusted anyone. He started it, I forget what […]
To think that she would like me. Who would? Or could? I can’t and won’t.
I was almost convinced she did.
I tried to get to know her, slowly it was working, she appeared to be reciprocating; smiling, laughing etcetera. After a while we got to texting. It was nice for a few messages but then she told me she had to call her boyfriend.
Ripped.
Ripped my heart out, though it’s not her fault and I don’t blame her. I just thought we had stuff in common and we’d get along.
Every one said we’d be good together.
I guess she’ll haunt my dreams […]