I am 15 I have sucky grades I broke up with my girlfriend she’s a cheating liar my family is anti gay my sister says I’m cutting for attention and I have no real support no way to kill myself no hope
inside of me exists
this thing
that makes me
me
it nurtures and it
weeps
it cradles me it dreams
i see this thing
that makes me
me
in his stare and
poison kiss
I see it as he turns
his back
he walks away
good bye again
he leaves again
in pain again
no hope again
repeat again
the same again
he’s done
alone again
with this thing
this THING
that makes me
me
I HATE this thing
DON’T want this thing
please please
FUCKING LEAVE
it has stolen
it has robbed
the life i want
the life i dreamed
what now
where to
confused
I am in the process of planning a way out of my miserable existence. I am not some teenager suffering angst or going to kill myself over a boyfriend or failed relationship.
Life continues to shit on me and recent events have just proven it yet again. It does not matter what I do or learn, how I try to improve myself, who I know or meet, I am just fated to lose in every way imaginable. I’m almost 50 and have finally accepted it’s never going to be any different. There is no hope.
I’m giving myself a certain number of months to get everything […]
I’ve felt, for a couple of years now, the same damn emotions. is that even…its hopeless, I’m not even sure why I joined this site, it’s always the same. no hope.
I feel so alone, hopeless, anguished, crushed, so inadequate, so incompetent, and just so sad….this gut wrenching, soul sucking, back breaking…heart breaking sadness…
and I tried, I truly did as one last fight before I welcome the cold, dark, dead hands of suicide.
I’m such an asshole. I hate being around people, especially at work. They’re always in the way. And I haven’t worked out a way to ask them to move without feeling angry. I try to be polite, but my face seems to betray me – ‘I hate you for not having the self-consciousness to realise you’re in my way, I hate that I have to ask you to move just so I can do my job, and I hate myself that this is how I’m spending my life.’
Or people try to make small talk. There’s reasons I don’t want to talk about myself. I feel […]
Hello, I am death. Aren’t I beautiful? I will cure all your problems in one quick move.
All you need to do is look and see. I am dazzling. Nothing compares to me. Have you tried talking to family, friends? Have you tried medication? Therapists? Have you tried getting your life in order? Have you done all you can but all still fails and you are left with grave regrets. Does your past haunt you? Is it impossible to move on? Is there no hope for the future?
When life is endless pain, and it seems there is no […]
So, it seems like if one wants to lay it all out there this is the place.
Ok, I hate life. I don’t enjoy things like most people seem to. I am a SWM, 42, and I can’t dance because I feel like a fool, and really feeling like a fool is essentially my basic state of mind most of the time. I also have trouble eating, which has a very long childhood story to it. I have a very hard time trying new foods, cant just eat it anyway to be polite, and often cant even eat foods I normally like if they are prepared […]
What is hope? Hope is an ideal. An ideal that involves some conception of a type of safety…whether it be in a hope for something in the future, and hope that someone actually cares, a hope that someone will actually understand, whatever it may be. But what can be said of hope when there is no such thing as safety? There is no safety in friends, no safety in success, no safety even in family. There is no safety in myself. It’s like there are some kind of demons in my head that won’t leave me alone. Everything good is bad, everything bad is worse. […]
I’m a 32 years old loser and total failure in this so-called “real world / real life / reality”. Is there really no hope for me anymore?
I’m a 32 years old guy from Indonesia. Graduated about 13 years ago from U.S, and then “back for good” to my home country, supposedly working for a family business.
Many people honestly tell me (or view me) as a very talented, even multi-talented person. But unfortunately/sadly, somehow I just lack several few factors yet they are apparently probably the *MOST IMPORTANT* factors in this so-called “real world / real life / reality” .
It’s my mind / constant thinking & […]
How can one go on with life that promises no hope. How can one break a smile with no source of joy. Its always a failed battle. What else can be a reason to hang on?I have not one reason left. I have no love left for myself. I am angry for being the complete definition of worthless. I desire nothing else in life but death. True happiness is leaving and not living in a life that doesn’t consider you a significant piece of the whole puzzle. The only cure to this lifelong suffering is death. And thus…one of these days I’llkiss this foresaken world […]
My selfish enemy
Still has the best of me
Empty and feeling numb
Wish I could take it away
I can’t control the need
To weak to not concede
Wish I was deaf and dumb
Wish I could fake it
**Seether**
Hello. My name is Bill and I’m 45 y/o.
This is the first time I have spoken to anyone about this, but I feel compelled to right now.
My life began falling apart about 7 yrs ago, and has continued to worsen to the point where I feel the end is near.
I had it all. Married. Great job and career. House. Cars, financially stable and moving up and forward. No kids though. Wife couldnt have kids. Then, in the course of a few weeks I lost everything. Lost my job. Two weeks later, wife left me unannounced. Saw neither coming. Lost everything in divorce. […]
People say suicide is selfish because of all the people it hurts. Well I want to know how those who care expecting me to endure the pain that is my life is not selfish on their part. Do they not believe the extent or severity of the pain in my life? There has to be a point that they understand I have no hope or will to live another and that without ending my life I am suffering far more than they will endure from my absence. This theory, or social convention, or whatever it is is bullshit. Suicide is my choice and if anyone […]
I feel very guilty for looking for a purpose. I know that the meaning of life is self-appointed, and as much as I try I know that I can’t find a reason. This is only day 6 of a weird bout of depression–I usually don’t get as depressed as this, where it heavily impacts me–but I am through with it. Why do I still go to lectures and pretend that all of this matters? Why do I still try to do well in class and get so fucking disgusted with myself when my grades aren’t the best? After undergrad is graduate and the formation of […]
I am slowly coming to honest terms with the fact that, against all of my efforts, there truly is no hope for me. Whatever good things that I either create for myself or just happen upon me are all illusions whose ugly truths get revealed eventually.
I cannot trust my mom or my dad. Or the various mentors in my life.
I cannot trust my sister.
I don’t know if I can trust my brother, although ironically he’s shattered my trust many times in the past.
I cannot trust the only person who has ever really known me and who said the words, “I will always love you.”
I no longer have friends to break my trust.
This February, […]
Taking fate into ones own hands is either within the concepts of courage or fear. I feel courageous at this moment of my life, unafraid of the possible judgement that lay before me. Perhaps it’s because I’m oblivious to the actual torture and loss of mercy awaiting on the other side. I never intended for my life to unravel in the way it has. So much has transpired throughout the course of the years whilst being diagnosed and at a time when I’ve found true happiness, the true symptoms arise. They have all said to be strong and to keep on fighting and although my […]
my life is boring.their is no hope to live the life the way i wanted.i haven’t done nothing which i like in my life.i gave up my career. their is no hope to live. im ending my life. this is my best decision in my life.
I have student loans. A personal loan. Attorneys fees for a divorce I’m going through. I have NO JOB. No income. I’ve applied to every job available here including fast food jobs and nobody will hire me. I’ve suffered from depression and bipolar disorder. I have no idea what I’m doing anymore. I’m lost. I have no hope. I can’t even see myself making it to next month because I can’t afford to pay anything. I don’t want to die, but I feel like it’s my only option. I’m just so sad and depressed and scared about my finances. I wish I could just go […]
I thought I could do it kill myself, but every time I try I am unable to seal the deal. I think I’m unable to kill myself, thinking of dying brings me some measure of peace but I don’t have it in me to end it despite having no hope or no future to look forward to. I don’t know why I can’t end it. I got involved in something so insane that it’s right out of a B movie plot. I got targeted by hackers then I made enemies of a whole community of people on a site called Zero Hedge. Now they are […]
I’m sick of being alive and today, I tried to intoxicate myself with water. Fuck, I thought today was my final day. I drank 2 gallons of water in less than an hour, although, I puked once. I felt this strong headache, started feeling dizzy and I had trouble breathing and I laid down on my bed for a bit and passed out. I woke up with pure disappointment on my face, I woke up to find my heart still beating. I don’t have many options for suicide, just this and falling off the Golden Gate , but I hesitate on the bridge. I just […]