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so I haven’t been on here in a while so I thought it was a good thing but you people on here always help out when I post something and reading the comments you place really help me a lot to help myself.
I have been getting bullied a lot I dunno why. I have been getting called fat so I started going to the gym a few months ago I thought twas improving my appearance til some people at my college started taunting me calling me fat and ugly. You see I have a twin and she has always been the one people idolize over. […]
Sorry to bug you guys, but I’m going to share my story real quick.
I’m an 18 year old girl diagnosed with depression and mild OCD. I may or may not be going to therapy soon, as I’m broke and my insurance does not cover it. I’m kind of hanging on for now and I’m not at immediate risk of suicide. But lately it’s been really difficult and I’m honestly surprised I’m still alive. I’ve been taking Lexapro since August, which has helped a little, but I’m still miserable.
As a kid, I never really had friends or family outside of my home. I wasn’t bullied really, […]
I’ve been stuck in the same place for almost 4 years now. I’m a 26 year old male who graduated college 4 years ago. I never knew what I wanted to do with my life but went to college simply because I thought I was supposed to. Since then I’ve been working at a lowly part time dead end job and living with my parents. I’ve looked for work on and off for 4 years now but with my lack of direction and focus I’ve had zero luck. Lately my motivation has been lacking as well, why put all that effort into something […]
Idk, i dont know how to really feel anything anymore, im not exactly sad, im not happy either though,
I lack alot of empathy or sympathy or whatever- to humans.
I dont like people. They can defend and lie and kill, they stab you in the back and do anything to save themselves or make sure theyre on top.
Humans are a disgusting race.
Destroying eachother with war and calling it
“defending our country”
“Honorable heros”
Bullfuckingshit.
There is nothing honorable about killing your own species.
We are here to advance and flourish
But we kill and murder the earth while we do it.
I HAD. a […]
It’s a new week and nothing has changed. Living 20 years or 80 years doesn’t matter, we’ll all die. I love ancient greek and rome. They are highest point humanity has reached. But we live in honorless age. This age full of miserable people who live for miserable things. We are a little dot in Universe but they put meaning to life when there is no meaning at all. I don’t wanna live for nothing.
Soon as i finish my last book, i will lay on train tracks. It is one of the least painful way. I hope my existence will end and i don’t ever […]
I love it- the way it sweeps over my skin in sheets and washes away what was before. I love the way it coldness bites into my skin and makes me forget everything for a little while. I love the way it smells- the wet earth and trees; it smells like what life should smell like.
On the other hand, I hate it- all I want to do it cut myself away into nothing…
Who knew water falling from the sky would be so thought provoking lol
Sorry if this makes any of you sad, lovelies. I just had to get it off my chest 🙁 I hope […]
I have made a decision, one that I hope I won’t be hated for because ill be doing that already. I’m going to give my daughter up for adoption, I’m going to be homeless soon, I still can’t get government assistance much less housing (it’s very hard to come by) and the cold weather is getting worse. My daughter can’t live like this anymore, my job as a cashier barely does anything for us I wish I could work full time but it’s only me who takes care of my baby. Her father loves her but is a deadbeat. He says he’s focusing more on […]
To this day i always tell me people i love being alone
And it’s true. I do like being alone.
But everyone confuses it with lonliness and i cant stand feeling lonely.
There is no actual point anymore for me.
I have 0 interest in anything anymore.
Ive tried to engage yself in so many activies and trying to do more hobbies but nothing catches me. Nor does the depression help.
I am a hopeless case
I dont want my life to be saved nor am i asking for help when i write this.
I just want to die and stop the pointlessness of what my life is. […]
Dear myself,
I don’t know if this letter will ever reach you. Some days I can only hope. Other days, I can only laugh at the very idea. If you are still around, will you have a good story to share? A good excuse for your depression? Because I don’t. All I can offer is tiny pieces of a picture so big it’s nearly invisible.
Remember the little girl who used to laugh and sing. She knew no real pain, no real evil. That’s when life was about sun, wind, trees and beauty. Everything was perfect in her world. I still remember she was the happiest kid […]
I don’t want to die necessarily… No, I can firmly say that in this very moment in time and space, I do not want to die.
However, I cannot firmly say what I want. I walk outside in the morning; I feel the dew settling on my face and the cool breeze that kisses my cheeks… I see the sun shooting tendrils of light through the light cloud cover, and I see the grass swaying with every breath of the wind. However, sometimes these things evoke nothing in this heart of mine. Nothing.
Now, you would think that feeling nothing would be a beautiful reprieve of the […]
Almost everything I do seems like a remedy for something already wrong in my life. It’s not that I don’t know what happiness is or haven’t experienced bliss at one point, but nowadays it feels like I’m merely living just to survive and for what I think is “right”. It’s like I’m contemplating the simplest actions every single time before they take place, even my thoughts feel like they are preconceived without my authority. I’m becoming more and more detached from reality, society, and people in general. I want to connect to the world, but there are factors that limit me, and I’m forever with […]
sometimes you know that you are nothing but a big joke for someone who means the world to you , the one that you see the light within his eyes
you are a big JOKE to him … you are a fucking joke to him a fucking nothing meaningless nothing a joke he laughes at then forget
and you are the IDIOT fucking stupid enough to still loving him and caring about him and living just wishig to have a chanse to be something to him
something more than that big JOKE
he gots all he needs in life why would he needs you
friends places to go to mother […]
I’m from Turkey, shithole country. Everyday news full of rape, theft, explosions, etc… I’m so tired of being part of this bullshit. This country full of crazy religious muslims who will try to kill or beat you if you’re not one of them. I’m not stupid, i’m reading book all day but what for? Waiting someone to kill me or going jail for my thoughts? 21. century is just rubbish. I don’t wanna be part of this life but i can’t kill myself. Because i feel like i haven’t completed somethings or just i’m animal who follow his instincts. I sold my xbox and guitar […]
I’ve been seeing a new psychologist since January and last visit she questioned why I was still seeing Psychologists if I believed my life will never get any better. I repeated what I had told her previously, that I simply want help to give up. I seem to continually hope for something to change but I need to accept that nothing can ever change. She has kept trying to inspire me to start doing things in an attempt to make my depression better with the idea that my depression will improve if I simply eat better, exercise and get more sleep. She will not accept […]
from the perspective of the proverbial ‘watcher’ my life is pretty perfect, i suppose. I live in a beautiful house with a beautiful man who tells me i’m beautiful. we’re engaged and getting married. . the natural progression of this version of life, to settle down and squirt out children… for the last five years, no for ever, i have thought that i wanted that. to settle and breed… and everything would just make sense when my life was no longer my own. but i am literally in the process of realising that i DONT actually want this, i have but one life and im […]
She stands there as the wind blows past her face. The rush of the air is nothing compared to that of her heart. Does this really excite her? Standing here as the world rushes by her, and thinking that if she took that step this could all end. Oh, she’s “okay” nothing terribly terrible’s happened to her recently and she has school and that lovely man waiting at home for her every night. So why does she stand here? Why do these demons infest her? Why is it that she can’t seem to stay happy anymore, or just get up and work. She knows what […]
I feel so numb. I feel like nothing around me is real. I should have told my pdoc that I attempted suicide when I had my appointment, but I guess I assumed the hospital told her since they asked for her name and I provided it. But nobody told her and I told her that nothing changed and I was still depressed and she just refilled the medicine I oded on and off I went.
My pdoc is a revolving door of pills. I don’t know if I’m having a mental break or if it’s a side effect of all these meds. Right now it’s keppra, […]
My life’s too busy, I did that on purpose so I’d be too busy to think, but I just want a day to do nothing, I’m so worn out….on the bright-side, I found $50 of the ground today! anyways i’m just so tired, and I’m really worried about my BF who is also suicidal, and he’s really over life right now, which really scares me, and I don’t know what to do. He sees a therapist, which is at least more than I do for myself. I don’t know how I could live if he ever died, and wanting to live is hard as it […]
Half the reason I stick around anywhere is because I have nowhere else to go
if it was so easy to walk out on my job and my friends and family, I would step right into a new life. But there’s nothing else out there for me.
There’s nowhere left to turn