I think I may have cancer. I found what could be a lump. Of course it could be lots of others things. Or nothing at all. The rational thing would be to get it checked out. But a part of me thinks ‘If it is cancer, then that’s for the best. Let it spread.’ It would be a way out. I wouldn’t have to commit suicide. I wouldn’t have to do that to my parents. They wouldn’t be left with all the anger, confusion, and bitterness that suicide brings. There’d still be grief, but they could find closure and move on. I could talk to […]
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I guess everybody has been in a situation where they didn’t know what to do. I have been in many, too. But this is something only you, people who are going through similar things, can help me with.
This post isn’t going to be about me, but about my aunt. My aunt has lost her son (my cousin) 2 years and 7 months ago if I’m counting correctly. He was only 17 years old at the time and he killed himself one night, somewhat out of the blue. The whole situation and his full reasons are a mystery – he didn’t leave any suicide note, he […]
I refuse to be afraid of the future, I refuse to be afraid of death. I refuse to let others harm me mentally or physically. I refuse to be the one people step over. I refuse to let anyone rule my future but myself, I refuse anyone the right to tell me how to live. I refuse all who dare step in my way, I refuse to allow the world to darken my soul. I refuse to be afraid of anyone and anything. I refuse to die with sadness. I refuse to let humanity corrupt me and I refuse to be weak in the face […]
Been drinking since last Friday, taken pills to sleep, got really sad on Sunday.. As usual. On Monday I went to work, Just an internship that after 2 months I realize won’t ever benefit me, a guy that’s been there half the time has already surpassed me by far. I’m above average intelligence, I’m strong, but socially.. I’m just the worst. And that matters the most, you can be stupid and weak but manage quite well in life if you have good social skills. Lately I’ve been seeing how others progress with their lives more clear than ever. I only have one local friend now, […]
Everyone has exes, everyone has little pieces of their heart that belong to other people, and it just becomes a part of who you are.
If I love enough people, will there be no more pieces of my heart that can belong to others?
Is it worth to live without a heart?
I am so lonely.
Hey…
Anyone heard from the user distant road in the last while? Things were going better for him last we spoke. But my last email from him is from Feb 13. I know of two others who have lost contact with him too. His email no longer seems to be working either. If anyone has heard from him or knows what happened I would appreciate the closure. Thanks.
I wants to be somewhat like a psychopath. Like having superficial charm, no empathy or feelings towards others in general, lack of remorse and guilt, highly manipulative , Lack of ralistic, long term goals, denial of responsibility, carelessness, high confidence, no fear and anxiety, grandiose sense of worth.
Psychopaths are destructive and antisocial but they are happy. Maybe I could be happy or less depressed if I had some psychopath traits.
I should not be alive.
I had planned to kill myself last night. I have actually decided to fight.
I think this change has a lot to do with posting to this board. I don’t know why. But posting my story (mostly putting words to my feelings) and seeing other people’s stories (and knowing that others feel how I feel) has made me look at my depression and suicidal thoughts differently. I began to see all my problems with life as a result of my depression rather than being than my problems with life causing my depression. I have decided to seek help (Making an appointment with my doctor tomorrow) and have actually made up […]
So I’m 21 nearly and I had a girlfriend for close to 3 years.
We were perfect for each other, but as we all do we had our fights, some alot bigger then others. However about 2 and a half years in i was going to propose when we were on holiday, things didn’t go quite to plan and I never got around to it, that’s beside the point. She left me on Easter this year and has been sleeping with many others. I guess it hurts because I was her first everything, emotionally and physically, but now I’m stuck with manic depression and suicidal […]
From how my friends and family treat my sisters is a lot different from how I’m treated. I alway tell my parents I see how excited and more outgoing my friends are around them, and when they approach me they seem bored and more reluctant to talk to someone else.
My parents seem to think I’m just imagining things. They tell me I’m just taking their actions differently, and that they still love me. But I can’t see it. Every time I invite a friend over they smile and greet me, and before long they ditch me for them.
I’m not angry, nor do I blame my […]
Hmmm I notice how shit I feel compared to others… I wrote this while in company of others…
I haven’t been coming to this site for long, but I see a lot of people posting that they’re about to kill themselves. And then they never post anything ever again. What am I supposed to think? Did they go through with it? Or was it all just a bunch of bullshit? I’m not naïve and I realize this is the internet, but it helps me in my own struggles when I know that others are still out there fighting their demons. Does this bother anyone else or is it just me? We really are all fighting this shit together, just different circumstances.
p.s. worthless_loser73 if […]
My chest hurts my mind is throbbing. So much is not right. How did I get here. 27 years of age, no girlfriend and not doing well in school. Is this why I am here? To suffer alone? I am not a cruel person. I love people, I want nothing but to spread joy and fun to others. But for myself I am nothing but a prisoner breaking down slowly but surely. I would give you the shirt off my back just to make you smile. But for me I cannot be saved from this hell.
I myself love to be hated! 37, have TBI from a motorcycle accident at 33. Hate coming here but I do daily to see how others are worse off than I. I thrive on booze, weed and some occasional blow. Oh and tattoos when I can afford them (disability pays shit) whatever, I do not expect anyone to give a fuck about my whoes however I sleep next to a loaded gun every night, don’t have the balls to turn it on myself but hope for a confrontation with whomever (cops preferably) for murder/suicide. Don’t expect anyone to give a shit, haven’t seen ***** […]
My best friend, K, tried to kill herself again tonight. Two of my best friends are dead, and another one is almost dead. I think that’s the only reason I’m still here. Her. I honestly think that she’s the last person I love on this earth. I mean, can I really say I love my fosters? I don’t think I can. Most of my family is on the other side of the world, an ocean away. Therapy makes me hate myself and all the others in my group even more It makes me into a different person, someone I want to strangle.
Well, at least K […]
I am the girl waiting patiently for her turn at the throne. I’m the girl that’s tired of feeling alone. I’m the girl who sits on the corner at parties, watching everyone as they go by. I feel like I’m already gone. Helping others as they go along. But then there’s another part of me. This girl is caged, waiting to be set free. She is tormented and controlled. Her body is shaky and cold. She screams but no one can hear. She is left in a room of despair. She takes to the needle like a baby with a bottle, the past ten years […]
I just got out of the mental ward two days ago for downing thirty pills.but no one took that seriously so i was only there four days and one day in the er.today i find out that a guy i liked in high school is in the icu on breathing tubes cause he tried to kill himself and odd as it sounds i wish it could have been me.i wish i could be on breathing tubes dying.no one cared about my flawed attempt cause im a regular at the er if i was dying maybe someone would seriously help me but because i make flimsy […]
I am nothing but words
Soon…
They’ll be nothing too
I am self-destructing
While re-constructing
The lives of others
Death
The end of life for some
The end of torture for most
If I don’t make it through
Say something nice about me
Anxiety, you’re an asshole. You don’t give me comfort and I’d rather see you go but you don’t. You’re trying to find happiness clinging to me? We’ll you can’t have it, it’s mine now and I refuse to hand it over. Who are you? To alter my life like it’s your own. We’ll I’ve had it, I’m about to let go of everything you’ve ever known. Why? Cause I don’t need you anymore anxiety, you’re tragic. Everywhere you go, you go bringing havoc. I’m done anxiety, trying to see while you blind me in the night with your fears. I won’t shed no more tears […]