I think an important question to ask yourself is, if everything in your life was normal and “going well”, would I still be depressed? When I mean going well, I mean to an outsider your life would seem normal and to the people who are in your family you’d appear normal. It’s something to think about because if you say no to that question, I think it is more about trying to get every ounce of your strength to change your life around. whether your answer is yes, no, or even in between, life will always be a struggle and everyone will have different struggles. […]
Tag:
Ounce
Has anyone ever kept years worth of emotion bottled up to the point where you’re afraid to release it anymore? to the point that you feel every ounce of rage you can muster suddenly flare whenever the slightest thing irritates you?
This is my third post. It’s been a couple weeks since my last and I’ve gotten a bit better; my first two posts would’ve persuaded any psychiatrist I was ready and willing to commit suicide. I’ve gotten better. Things have started looking up a bit. But that pain still lingers. And with it, an anger I can’t even begin to describe. All my life I’ve […]
We spend our lives
trying to Be.
Be better.
Be smarter.
Be stronger.
Be prettier.
Just- to Be.
Be someone worthwhile.
Of course we do.
Who doesnt wake up each morning
wth the hope
that someone is going
to fall for us?
We strive for that feeling
of acceptance
and love.
Yet how do we forget
to find love for ourselves;
while we wait for another
to find their love for us?
Oh, how naive the soul
that roams each street alone,
wishing to find somone to love them
enough to take away the pain.
We are raised to believe that love
is the greatest reliever.
It can heal the wounds
and warm the icy blood pulsing through our veins.
We believe that the love of another is enough
to wash away
all pain and […]
Hi everyone,
I’ve read most of your stories, and they’ve made me quiver. Your life should never be thought as negative. You were put on this earth for a reason. If you say you’re not loved, you’re wrong. So many people have the biggest hearts and would love to get to know you if you allowe yourself to open up. I know you have been hurt by someone in the past that allows you to put a wall up, but being vulnerable is a beautiful thing. It allows you to feel something, rather than nothing. Even if it feels like you’re not worth something, you are worth […]
There is a man, clad in black
Who follows me around
Wherever I go
He is feared by many
But not by me—not usually
He used to follow me from a distance
Teasing me, staying just out of sight
But now, whenever I turn my head
I see him looking over my shoulder
Always there, a silent companion,
A guardian, I pray
My dear silent companion
Bold and unafraid
I cannot seem to shake him
No matter where I hide or turn
But I want him to stay;
Without him I’m afraid
I hate him when I lie awake
And he wiggles […]
Well, this is my first time posting on something like this. I’m not exactly sure how to start, but here goes nothing.
Hi there. I’m sixteen years old and I should be happy. I have a decent family, a decent home, a wonderful school, and a few close friends. I come from a long line of women who have a chemical imbalance which causes depression. Low levels of serotonin influence my moods negatively, according to the doctor. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this, it’s actually quite common in women/teenage girls. In my opinion? It’s just another excuse to drug us and take our […]
Well this is just going to be my experience that I had a few months ago.
One day, after having the pills set aside for such an occasion for many a months, I came home in a really crappy mood. Being the thinker I am, I went over in my head all the pros and cons for why I should kill myself. Long story short, the pros won over, and I decided I wanted to do it.
I shoved all 22 of the sleeping pills into my mouth and swallowed them as fast as I could so future me wouldn’t have time to change their mind. After […]
I’ve never been so lost in my entire life. I don’t even know where to start.
I’ve been depressed, anxious, and suicidal my whole life. It’s been miserable. It’s so hard having nobody to talk to. My family doesn’t understand. Every single day I put on my fake smile and act like I’m okay, but I’m not. I try to get my parents to hear me. I cry out, but nobody listens. I’m invisible to them.
I have no idea what I’m doing with me life. My dreams were always shot down. They said I wasn’t special and that I’d never make it. I still believe I can. But […]
I’m sick of waiting.
I’m sick of having my heart broken again and again. This year has been horrible. I started off telling someone something and having it thrown in my face, and then recovering from it only to find myself falling for the same things all over again with someone new. But this person is different, yet I have to wait for her, but she will disappear from my life. I don’t want that…
She makes me want to strive, but then not being there for her makes me sick, I’m being to obsessive maybe.
I feel empty without her, she’s special, and I don’t want this […]
the first cut is always the deepest…
I just want to quit.Give me 5 good reasons to stick around…
For Christ’s sake!
If God really loved me, why would He do this to me?
I cant ever be happy,like truly happy.
Am I really that easy to betray because I put myself out there and give everybody every ounce of my being?
then they see I give them everything and just betray me…What did I ever do?
Am I really that bad?
It is really frustrating to put myself out there only to be betrayed and backstabbed….
This might be my last post……
No one would care so why stick around?
I am not one for showing my true feelings to the general public. I consider myself to have gone completely numb on the inside but nobody could ever tell thanks to my happy personality which I fake just so I do not have to answer questions regarding my true life. I thought once I got out of high school my life would be a bit different, it is in some ways but not everything is peachy. I have been physically and mentally abused by my mom since I was born and I am 21 now and it still continues. According to her I am worthless, […]
I feel like that again. Like all I can do is cry. And be depressed. And hate myself. My tears feel like razor blades. My heart aches. Yet again, I’m not who I seem to be. I’m empty. I’m scared… I want to be gone, so no one has to deal with the pathetic excuse for a person that I am. And so I can be done with this. Disgust is the only thing I see in myself. I’m the one who made myself like this. And there is no way to fix me. I depend on pills to keep me alive, to numb my […]
…You would think that my heart would stop allowing them in. You would think that my brain would stop being a pushover and finally tell my heart what to do. You would think that my heart had become so callous and cold from the way that I was treated, but it is not. I’ve been able to shoot and kill people and flinch not. I’ve been able to bloody a face beyond recognition and not feel an ounce of remorse…You would think I was cold…but yet, I allow myself to love again, care again. Repaving the painful path of cutting and suicidal thoughts taking the chance […]
Why is that people ask you not to compare your life with others at times and then take a complete U-Turn and ask to look at others life at other times? World always tries to find a way to influence your life, your decisions, they always want you to live your life as it best suits them. The reason for my decision is not my hatred of this world, or hatred for life – on the contrary its quite opposite – I love this world, I love life. But unfortunately, I don’t enjoy it anymore, I live everyday as its a burden – with a […]
Hello Jesus
It’s been a long, long time
I hope that you still know me,
I’ve been hiding quite a while
I know that you know all things
Still, I think I should explain,
The reason I’ve been hiding
is because of all the shame.
I know that I don’t look so great
For meeting up with you
But I hope you understand
I’ve been alone since I was five.
You probably see the dirt marks
And smudges on my face
But it seems no matter how I try
Some things can’t be erased.
They say that eyes are windows
That peer into the soul.
I’m afraid to that if you look there,
You’ll find it dark and cold.
I’m not sure why it is, […]
What a way to kick me in the fucking teeth and drag me around from the back of your chariot…
by Infektious
written by Infektious
So…the one person i trusted…i spent almost two years working hard to stop cutting, stop drinking, stop hurting myself for someone I though i could trust…in three words he destroyed everything. I’m back to nothing. i have nothing. i am nothing. But do you know wahts fucked up most of all? I love him. i fucking want him here I want to hug him and never let go and feel the pain go away like it used to when I was home but I can’t cos I can’t even look at him. His name makes me want to bleed out every ounce of blood because […]
I’ve felt a change in my emotions lately
A realization
Or
Maybe I’m just remembering.
Coming down from my dillusion
Back into reality.
But more lucid this time around.
Bitterness does not form
Yet happiness is still ages away
Basically a myth now.
These moments when every emotion
Has disappeared completely by reaching its peak
The most anyone could ever feel
Any emotion
Name one.
I can.
Rage.
Enraged.
The feeling of wanting to create a homicidal storm
Or at least stick nails into my own veins
Either way there will be blood
Don’t talk to me for a while
Don’t look at me without […]
i just want to tak me life,i reallly do.nothing at home is right it seems like everybody leaving me and how do i suppose to deal with that.i have no one to talk about this to. my mom dosent care about me and my dad is trying his best. sometimes i think people like me wasnt supposed to be on this earth. i cry at night mostly every night thinking bout how everybody hates me.i took alot of pills ounce diffrent ones it made me real drowsy and i just lad there looking high. i even tried to cut my wrists. i just want to […]
I imagine myself as the boy stumbling out of the bar at 3AM alone and walking home. I don’t know what “home” is anymore, but I’m going to walk there, drunk and abandoned. And at some point, I’ll start singing a few songs that remind me of him.
I wish I could say I’m so sorry. I wish I could say I love him to him. I wish he felt the slightest bit of remorse for every time he said I meant less than nothing to him. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and find his car parked outside my house, knocking on the door, […]