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This is it… the vicious cycle ends today with a bullet in my brain

by I am out 3/2/2015

written by I am out

I have had reoccurring depression for half my life, and I am 22. When I was a teenager, I would tell my parents that I was going to kill myself, and this of course would freak them out and I got counseling, then got on medication. The years that followed had me going in a cycle of depression that would turn on and off over and over and over again, with each spout of depression last weeks, and my ‘good’ moods lasting days.

While I was feeling good, I’d say to myself, “What was I thinking? I can’t commit suicide!” But then only a few days […]

3/2/2015 19 comments

I Truly Think This Is The Only Way To Stop The Pain

by prosser6 2/2/2015

written by prosser6

Hello, I’m a 20 year old guy currently living at home with his parents, going to school. I don’t have a lot of friends, and I’ve never been social.

But recently I’ve been getting closer and closer to suicide. I’m nearly failing school (again) and I’m one quarter away from getting kicked out of both my parent’s house and my school. Currently, my computer and my favorite TV show’s upcoming fifth season are the only things keeping me alive. But is it truly worth the pain? Just to watch some silly animated show’s fifth season, in return to months of endless suffering.

I have severe ADHD and […]

2/2/2015 6 comments

I am Ill, not Invisible

by cottoncandy 1/30/2015

written by cottoncandy

I have been confined to my house for 3 years and confined to bed for long periods of time due to severe, progressive Rheumatoid Arthritis and Anemia. These are my 2 worst health problems out of 30+ diagnosed chronic illnesses.

If you see me on the very rare occasion at a store, you would assume I am heathy. This is why the term “invisible illness” describes many conditions when visible effects of the illness have yet to appear.

My family finally accepted that I need regular rest, i’m crabby, and i am constantly experiencing pain when I was diagnosed with RA. Now they leave me […]

1/30/2015 1 comment

No Happiness….No Reason To Live.

by BrokenHope 1/16/2015

written by BrokenHope

I’m pretty sure I’m pregnant, I’m only 19, turning 20 in the 7th month of the year. The guy that I may be pregnant by is not the best, but I cant help that. I told my mom and siblings I think I’m pregnant, my mama did not freak out, nor did my sister or little brother, but my older brother told me he’s gonna kill my child if I am. I know I might be young but if I am pregnant the last thing I wanna do is kill it or have it killed by someone else. I actually want a kid and it […]

1/16/2015 4 comments

Please shoot me with Gun.

by alone 12/27/2014

written by alone

I don’t want to die with myself becz my parent’s love me, but now situation is not in my control. i want to do lot’s of stuff but i can’t every time i try to do new thing just someone remind me that what i can’t do. i screw many thing in my past i want to fix them but i can’t because i don’t have enough strength to stand. i am weak, i pray to god please give me some strength, but nothing work.i am just crying and try to harm my body. please god give your worst hazard to me so that i […]

12/27/2014 5 comments

I Can’t Stand my Family

by Tara 12/23/2014

written by Tara

I’m just done. I really don’t know how to cope with anything anymore. My mom has been in a bad mood for the past week, because she is very stressed about christmas shopping. And of course whenever she’s angry, who does she take her anger out on? Her family. So her and my older brother were fighting about were the clicker was, and my mom got really angry. She was calling him a bastard, lazy ass etc. And my brother just said “Can you stop being a dick to me”, which he should never had said. She starts saying how terrible we all are then […]

12/23/2014 0 comment

i should have stayed quite

by hidingfromlife81 12/17/2014

written by hidingfromlife81

33 yrs old, lost my baby, parent disowned me just becuz i decided to move out at 31, 3 failed engagements, and just when i thought i found the one that i could trust. i let him in and told him my story, he pushed me to therapy, but yet he said it didnt work, i gave up on it after 4 sessions. and now he just left me. he cant stand me being suicidal. hes so scared he rather not be around me. i should have stayed quite. im alone again

12/17/2014 3 comments

Why?

by Gale 12/9/2014

written by Gale

I came to the forest to determine why. Why life? Why death? When depression sucks you down like the Le Brea tar pits, you can no longer see the ground warmed by the morning sun. You see those who have come before you mired in the sticky, intractable black ***. The skeletons of those who didn’t make it are all around you. Charles Boyer, Vincent van Gogh, Sylvia Plath, Ernest Hemingway, Virginia Woolf. Robin Williams, so close, you could almost touch him. A delicate balance…when pain exceeds coping resources.

For the prosecution:
– 41 years of depression
– Crimes against humanity committed to me
– Committed […]

12/9/2014 2 comments

I just want to kill myself to throw it in my parent’s face

by contemplatingeveryday 11/30/2014

written by contemplatingeveryday

I’m so sick of having to live up to expectations. I’m 16, doesn’t that mean I should be able to live a little? My parents have all of these standards for me like just because I’m Chinese and my brother is a genius doesn’t mean I am smart! Because I’m not! In fact, I have C’s and B’s and sometimes D’s and F’s, and I work my ass off to get them. Just because my brother didn’t have a social life doesn’t mean I can’t step foot out the door more than once a weekend. Yes I drink. Yes I smoke weed. I’m in high […]

11/30/2014 8 comments

Failure on Repeat

by Xuonimo 11/21/2014

written by Xuonimo

I am a failure. i am at a loss. i have received advice. i thought that following it would suffice. but as the time passes and as i reevaluate my life…

i am supposed to pursue art next year and go study abroad in italy to broaden my understanding of what i am getting myself into. but in order for me to pursue that future i only needed to graduate.

i only needed to pass the three subjects that i had failed last year.

i did well during the first few months but i started to go on a downward spiral halfway. no one understands how depression […]

11/21/2014 4 comments

Maybe it’s my fault

by Lynnypoo 11/9/2014

written by Lynnypoo

My life seems great looking from the outside in. I have a nice looking family with comfortable living expenses, three cars, and a nice house. But honestly my emotions have taken a toll on my life. Growing up I’ve stolen and lied numerous times and basically I’m just a terrible person. Some may say I deserve it.

Parents divorced, I live with my mom. And since then she’s been meaner and meaner, boyfriend by boyfriend. Now she’s married and doesn’t care for me. Being an asian parent, she’s abused me. Laying a hand on your own child is considered abuse even if it’s just a spank. […]

11/9/2014 2 comments

Gone & Forgotten

by fallenstars101 11/4/2014

written by fallenstars101

An 18 year old, senior in high school. She found a way to survive for 6 years and finally set herself free. The pain and anxiety got to her. The depression ate her alive from the outside in. The tears lay on her pillow case where she suffocated herself the night before. Her father, still the drunk he was before, still doesn’t realize that his screams actually got to her. He doesn’t understand that after every hit, it pushed her off the edge more. Her mother, still the druggie she always has been, doesn’t understand that it’s not easy having a parent that would rather […]

11/4/2014 3 comments

by grm14 10/20/2014

written by grm14

I know as a parent you should never just want to kill yourself because it’s selfish but I feel as a parent it would be better for my 5 week old daughter. I’m 18 and I’m alone . The boy that I was supposed to marry cheated on me so I broke up and for a while we lived in the same town and despite the fact he cheated on me physically abused me while I was pregnant with her and emotionally abused me I wanted to work it out for her and then he would call me high and drunk and stalk me and […]

10/20/2014 11 comments

Where is God

by charlieregal 10/7/2014

written by charlieregal

Where is he. This omnipotent, omnipresent so called benevelent being that people fall to their knees and give all the glory. He seems completely indifferent to our suffering as we are indifferent to suffering of ants (such simple delicate little creatures) as they are crushed under our feet and we don’t even give it a second thought? If we are truly his children then ask yourself this; If you had a child would test his virtue with tribulations like disease, famine, pestilence, war and natural disasters? If so then what kind of parent are you? Think of the acursed realms of the world; sudan, palestine, […]

10/7/2014 41 comments

Just stop

by sunflower 9/9/2014

written by sunflower

When you constantly hear how horrible of a person you are, especially from your own sibling and parent, you start to second guess yourself and even start to believe it.

9/9/2014 2 comments

Invalid Existence

by Elaina 9/4/2014

written by Elaina

I am a single mother of two… I just had to terminate my 5th pregnancy and I am only 25. I pissed of my boyfriend by using him and not talking with him, and he was the love of my life. My kids are spoiled and I feel like a stupid slut most of the time. My father sold me sexually from 5 on… And abused me emotionally, physically and sexually. My parents told me I was an accident. I was not meant to be here. I found myself skimming dating and sex sites looking for the man who I will never find. After the […]

9/4/2014 6 comments

loosing my son

by jayjay 8/28/2014

written by jayjay

I RAISED MY SON TELL HE WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD, THEN HIS MOTHER DECIDED TO TAKE HIM BACK. HE IS NOW 25 YEARS OLD. I WASNT ABLE TO TALK TO HIM TELL HE WAS 16 YEARS OLD WHEN HIS MOTHER WANTED ME TO TAKE HIM BACK. HE DIDNT WANT TO COME BACK TO WASHINGTON, BECAUSE HE HAD A GIRL FRIEND THERE AND DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE HER.

HIS MOTHER THEN THROUGH HIM OUT AT 16, BECAUSE MY SON AND HIS MOTHERS BOYFRIEND DIDNT GET ALONG. ANYWAY, ME AND MY SON STARTED TALKING THROUGH EMAIL. ONE DAY HE WOULDNT ANSWER MY EMAILS FOR ALMOST SIX MONTHS. […]

8/28/2014 17 comments

Thoughts on Love

by MuteKaterwaul 8/25/2014

written by MuteKaterwaul

A few weeks ago I came across an article in the New York Times about a man and his love for his cat. It was surprisingly interesting despite the subject matter and reflected on bits of human nature that would be applicable to more than just ones relationship with their cat/pet.

From the article: “I’ve speculated that people have a certain reservoir of affection that they need to express, and in the absence of any more appropriate object – a child or a lover, a parent or a friend – they will lavish the same devotion on a pug or a manx or a cockatiel, even […]

8/25/2014 2 comments

Still…

by coconut-scent 8/16/2014

written by coconut-scent

I wont say names and I wont say ages, it’s difficult enough to even type this sort of stuff.

Within a span of 4 months my life changed dramatically. My father passed away and I was assaulted by peers older than me.
I wasn’t sure how to communicate what happened. My father dying, people I thought I was safe around. How can you tell your family or your friends about any of that and have them understand how you’re feeling?

Sure they could have been through something similar or close to your experience, but every experience is different. You don’t get assaulted by the same person/people. You […]

8/16/2014 5 comments

Shit Excuse of A Life

by homesickangel 7/31/2014

written by homesickangel

So Hey my names Kris or actually that’s my nickname I’m 15 years old and am suicidal a cutter bulimic anorexic mentally unstable girl. Let’s start at the beginning shall we? My shit storm of a life started in 7th grade where I was verbally and physically bullied by a 8th grader by the name of Leo it started out with the name calling teasing of my weight then it escalated to pushing shoving tripping sometimes kicking and punching but I endured it cause no one would believe me or so much as lift a finger to Stop it and then 8th grade came he […]

7/31/2014 6 comments

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