My housemate of 2 years and friend of 10 shot and killed himself in May of this year (2012). Â I was downstairs and had texted him to ask if he wanted some scrambled eggs I was making. Â I heard him walking around, but he never answered my text. Â Later, afterward, I looked at his phone and I saw my text message had been read. Â He knew I was up, he knew I was home. Â Twelve minutes after I sent the text I heard a sound like a box had been dropped on the floor. Â For some reason I noted the time. Â This sound was loud […]
Tag:
Parents
They say it gets better, and that it won’t last forever. But  I wonder when it will start for me?
It started 3 years ago. I had heard my parents fighting, and then my dad put a gun to his head and he said no one would care if he pulled the trigger. But his 12 year old daughter was watching from the doorway, and to her it mattered very much. I never told him I saw that, so he can’t understand how much that messed me up. That year was already bad. I was bullied for my weight and I’ve never really gotten over that. […]
I’ve lost everyone. My friends are dead or they’ve left me. I have no one.
My family doesn’t exist anymore. It fell apart decades ago.
I feel like a broken record repeating my mistakes and skipping towards the end. I fall and I use all my strength to get up. Always. Now, I feel as though its time for me to not get up.
Everyday I sat alone. I could be in a room with hundreds of people. I would still be alone.
I was always there…for anyone. I didnt care if I hated them, no one deserves to be in pain ever no matter who they are. I […]
I know that there are so many people that have problems way worse than mine. So, please don’t judge me..
Lately, i’ve been thinking about suicide. I guess I haven’t done it yet because I’m weak and a coward.
My parents are getting a divorce after 15 years. That’s my age. It really is my fault becuase if my mom hadn’t been pregnant with me, they wouldn’t have been miserable for the last 15 years in a marriage that fell apart.
I just started a new school, moved to a new house. I’m a sophomore. On May 20, 2012 one of my bestfriends got in a wreck and […]
Aren’t parents supposed to be there for you?
Aren’t you supposed to be able to go to them when your feeling like this?
Me? Can I? No.
My mom will sit there and ***** at me. She won’t ever comfort me.
My dad?
He’d just yell at me like always.
I’m done.
I can’t do this anymore.
crying everyday… every stinkin’ day is exhausting.
I just am so drained and lifeless anymore.
I’m done being put done.
I’m done with peoples constant lies.
I’m done with peoples shit.
I’M DONE.
Sometimes i wanna take the easy way out. Like my Dad. When i was little i used to be so lonley and small, i used to try to semerge myself in the tub and hope i wouldnt give up,and come up for air. I used to yell into my pillow, cry but not just cry.. Soul cry. I like to write alot, hope to make it a Career so, listen up. See, 64 year olds they get a little crazy at that age. My grandma is a old winkley ***** that you just wanna punch in the face because she doesnt hear stuff right and […]
Well, this is my first post on here, so might as well tell you why I’m here.
I had the perfect life, weren’t many people in it but those I had were the best. I depended mostly on my best friend and boyfriend. I was doing great with studying. I didn’t speak to my parents much but when I did they were friendly and supportive.
I had been with my boyfriend for 9 months, but it felt like forever, which isn’t a bad thing. We rarely argued and when we did we were quick to forgive each other. We often talked about the future and I convinced […]
People keep repeating the same gruelingly clichè line to me. It’s starting to sound like a droning buzz in my ear that I can’t swat away. They tell me to live. To live because, “things get better”. What gets better? Honestly, what ever gets better? Sure, a few good things happen once in a blue moon, but to get better would mean things have to change. I’ve tried to change things myself and it was hopeless. Change….it doesn’t happen either. People *don’t* change. Things *don’t* change. They keep feeding me these bullshit fairytales. I’m 18. I have a brain that has developed more than that […]
I have lately been crying often due to the problems involving my family. It all started of when i hadn’t been talking to my dad for atleast 5 months.
Cause you see my parents are divorced and now i live with my mum and step-dad and siblings. Anyway, I didnt end up going on holiday with my dad. Kinda sad. Once the summer holidays i had sent him a message saying that im sorry but my phone didnt work so i had no contact with him and i told him that i now am back at home.
He hadn’t called or texted me .. i was getting […]
This is a sort of rant ramble of things, and also a call of advice.
I’ve never been too good with words. I always manage to say the wrong thing when I’m speaking face to face with someone, and I also get very emotional too even over things that don’t need to be. So in general hard to discuss topics for me are even harder, and I’m sure I’m not the only one on this board.
So now onto the general main topic.
I’m moving to California, I’m just leaving everything behind and moving, there’s no doubt in my mind about it. I have to go for myself. […]
Have I told you my favorite word is Halcyon? I hope tomorrow is a Halcyon day.
by jjgirl13
written by jjgirl13
I’ve set my date. It’s tomorrow.
I’ve set it so many times before. I keep putting it off. Dragging my feet. But life isn’t looking like sparkles anytime soon. Well, not life in general. Just me. Life could be sparkles. I don’t think I can see it again though. I’ve lost the art of experiencing joy. There’s no point not living; existing and living are two different things, and I can’t bear the former. Can’t walk the edge of the knife forever. Have to choose a side at some point.
When I look out the window, it’s fall. Fall is my favorite season. The air is crisp, and I […]
Okay so I won’t tell you my name just incase someone reading this knows me. I randomly found this website just before searching up suicide things on google. Anyway I am a seventeen year old girl living in New Zealand. I have been diagnosed with depression by a doctor and people tell me all the time they think I suffer from other disorders like bipolar and OCD and others like that.
I have three half-brothers and one half-sister as well as a full sister. I have met two of my half-brothers about three time. My other half-brother and my half-sister don’t even know that I exist. […]
I’m a 16 year old boy who is thinking about Suicide all the time, doesn’t matter where i am or what i’m doing. I don’t have a standard story, mabye i can cry about having disvorced parents or being bullied in primary school but that aren’t really reasons i contemplate about suicide. I’ve never had therapy, i think none knows how i am… I’ve tried a “online” therapy “test” and as diagnosis came out i am severely depressed. I’ve propably been depressed since i was 14 but none saw it, neither did i.
When i read post on this site i always see the sentence: Life gets better, […]
Ever since we met (my wife) and decided to stay together, we always have arguments everyday and it seldom happened a day with it. Until we decided to get married, we’re 4 years now and have one 3-year old son. But the state still goes on and sometimes we’re temporarily separated, sometimes I opt to suicide and sometime I leave them for few day to ease the pain.
I love her so much and I don’t want to leave her or get legally separated (in our country there’s no divorce). My problem now is how to handle her everyday since we have a lot of differences […]
do you enjoy starting drama? i cant love my family because all they want to do is start drama because its what you thrive on. my father hid me and my sister from the world just so we wouldn’t end up like them and now we have terrible social skills, shes doing better than me though, i cant make friends because when i try to reach out to people they think im creepy or weird. all the people that supposedly love me keep treating me like dirt. i cant find my way and i just dont know what to do anymore but look back on […]
i have been feeling pretty good after me and my boyfriend got back together he made me feel so happy again and the happiest girl in the world, me and him was all that mattered to me. I got him back and only realized after he moved away this week that i was so dependent on him too make me happy, he is the only reason i want to get out of bed some days! he said he would come back after two months but lets not bull shit our self he is most likely going to stay with his parents alot longer then two […]
A few days ago i was in choir when my directer told us to shut our eyes and think of something sad. So we all shut our eyes and suddenly a sad memory popped into my head. This is what i thought…
A few years ago there was this really nice family that my family was friends with. There was a Mom a Dad and a little girl named Emmria. The little girls parents would yell some times but not too much. But one day thee were yelling and the mom left. They broke up and the little girl was sad. The dad missed the mom […]
I don’t even know if I am posting this in the right spot or if anyone will even see it. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m a normal kid. Early 20’s.. apparently decent life. But I seriously wish I were dead. I may not struggle financially thanks to my parents (I do not live at home, but they financially support me. pay my rent, etc.) I do work, though. I have never posted about this stuff online and I don’t even know how to word whats going on in my head. I may not struggle financially and sometimes I feel like god gave […]
you know its intresting.I start to think more about what if i do succede what my death will mean if it actually happens.and a little bit o topic okay ive heard a lot of people saying barbiturates are the only medication that will kill you not you.Ive overdosed a lot in the past when im not cutting or burning or drinking nasal spray.I almost died from the use of sleeping pills and lithium which i was taken off of right after.Now i find there are different types of suicide.Some people i wouldnt consider suicidal cause there just bored with life its not really emotion.Some people […]