Ive felt like killing myself for so long now. I thought I was fine for a little bit but what do ya know…. I’m back. I hate almost everything. No one answers or talks to me. My dad is all the time asking and saying hurtful things “you have any friends son?” “you gay or something?!” “when you gonna get a girl friend?” just things of the sort and it dosnt help at all. My brother used to call me adopted when I was little. I know he was kidding and just being how a lot of big brothers are. But I really wish I […]
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Hi My name is Nikki… I am 15 years old and I have been cutting for a very long time.. I know what it is like to hurt and feel nothing but pain and misery. I have lost so many people to death and You know it is not fun.. I am not that skinny pretty girl at all. I lost a guy I was in love with to a person who felt the need to shoot and kill him. I felt the pain of loosing my best friend to a person who hit him with a car. I felt the pain to my grandmother […]
ok so im not completely alone my sister and friend is here but that means nothing but not being hit my dad is home too, but came home looked me in the eye and said i have destroyed him he now wants nothing to do with me. haha he wonders why i wanna move out..get a clue damnit! my mom is shoppin i sit here in bed bleeding all over my white sheets and blanket i took a very sharp pocket knife and slit my arm deep. the pain is intense but to me looks beautiful and relieves some of my pain. i wanna die […]
Living is suffering for me. I know some would say that I should feel like I have a great life. But they are only saying that because of my material objects.
They don’t know that I stay up late at night, crying because I have to hide so much of myself. My family is Christians, and they make fun of gays. It’s so hard due to the fact that I am a bisexual atheist. And it’s not like I have the courage to just tell them.
I don’t know exactly how long I’ve been depressed, but I noticed some notes of mine dating back to […]
im not shure and i honestly don’t care if anyone has written anything even remotely similar. my life doesn’t suck. yeah it has its moments. but no. i like my life.
but. im tired. thats all there is to it. there is nothing left for me here. i just feel like i am done here. i need to move on.
i got help for these suicide thoughs. but honestly. nothing worked. in the end of the therapy i pretended to be healthy. but… you cant fix someone when they are already dead inside.
some things are beyond therapy i guess.
im not old. im 18. and appear like everyone […]
Hi,
I dont really know why I am on here, writing this? I guess, I would just like some advice. I am 18 and still living at home, although I have been accepted to a uni course which will start in September. I have just got to complete my last alevel exams. The results dont matter as my offer is unconditional. On the outside my life is perfect. I am 18, I am going to uni to study equine science, a course that I want to do. I have recently brought myself a horse, my parents have enough money to have sent me to private school.
Reality? […]
shivering crying scared. this isnt fair i give my sister whatever she wants so she wont beat me. yet in return she still does it since she is always in trouble she wants me to feel the pain when already im in a lot of trouble she doesnt get it sure my parents annoy me but its my sister who made me so mental she manipulates and tortures me and if i cry in front of her she mocks me im so scared its not fair im scared of being near her let alone living with her. FUCK I WANNA BE DONE AND DEAD. TIME […]
Is what I tell my mom. ‘no, it’s okay, I’m just tired’ for my dad. ‘Could you leave, please? I’m thinking’ is snapped at my little sister. And then I’m alone.
School’s out. I’m a kid. I should be ecstatic, right? But I’m not. Lately, I’ve just been feeling so alone, so hopeless. I have small projects I’ve been working in in my spare time, but I’m starting to think ‘why bother, this is stupid’ and abandon them. Occasionally I’ll get my hopes up for something, but somehow when it comes I always seem to screw it up. Then it’s over, and I’m back in […]
Well- this is harder than initially thought.
How do you attempt to explain something you’re not sure of ?
If I were to guess at what stage triggered my feelings today, I would say childhood. I don’t remember a lot of my childhood, maybe a handful of events all in all. Why this is I don’t know, repressed memories, perhaps ? Bad memory, more likely?
I am in no way saying I had a bad childhood. I know my parents loved me, although I don’t think my mother was ready for children, still don’t.Â
I am 20 years old and deeply confused. When I was around 12 […]
I make this question every day to myself, for something like 8 years. 8 years ago.. i came to italy, with my mother. My parents devorced when i was 3 y.o. and from then i lived with my granparents in russia. My mother gone to italy when i was 5 y.o. and i barely never seen my father till i was 10, then my mom took me with her in italy. she lived with an  italian guy, antonio. when i came to italy, he trowed us on street, with no money, without a reason. Thanks to some friends, we found a home for a month, […]
If you don’t take away anything else by the time you finish reading this entry, then I hope you at least will take away this one thought that could perhaps be the greatest revelation in your life which you don’t even know about yet; and it’s this…………………………
YOU. MATTER.
Your problems matter. And someone out there does love you even when you think you’ve been rejected, hit rock bottom, and can no longer find comfort in living.
…Hey, been there. Done that. I have the scars on the inside and out to prove it….and no, I don’t care for a repeat either because as much as it lingers […]
well i guess ill start with my story since some of yall on here are new and i havent posted in awhile. when i was little the one man in my life who was supposed to be there for me left { my dad } and told my mom he hoped i died and was born with aids luckly i wasnt i was just born sick then my mom got with another man who i grew to love and called dad they broke up but i still went to his house with my new half sister everyweekend { to keep you unconfussed later i have […]
I started cutting in 5th grade. I always thought of trying to commet suicide but I was always to scared to try because i thought how will my parents feel ? When i got in the 6th grade things got worse I moved to a new town and my parents got divored and I didnt know anyone in this town, but i knew one person and they knew me to but not in a good way. It all started on facebook I met him and he looked cute but I never met him in person so I thought I would lie to my friends and […]
Yes life can be difficult, I won’t deny that. We do go through our good times and bad times. Ive had depression for 2 years and still trying to heal from it. I used to cut myself, which eventually made me feel worse. I never really had friends that I could talk to, so basically I thought that I was complettely alone. Then I realized that i’m not, because I have people at my church that I can talk to and God. Oh btw i’m 15 and my name is Deana. For the people suffering from depression try to look at all the positive stuff […]
Its hard to put into words how much I truly hate every second of living on this earth. For reasons and forces unknown I wasn’t ever meant to be anything of value. my parents admit i was a mistake, not aborting me was an even bigger one. now im paying for their mistakes.
From kindergarten to highschool, I was always outcast. I was the kid that didn’t even get bullied because he was of lower social stature. which made no sense, I was nice. I always helped out and always tried to be a good friend. In all it was everybody’s fetish to use me for […]
I am 28 years old still living with my parents and I am ready to give up. In fact giving up is something I have become good at over the years. I now have no money and thousands of dollars in debt (never finished college) oh and by the way my mother is an alcoholic and my father has cancer.Our home is also infested with bedbugs and we have 4 dogs that all they do is bark and go to the bathroom all over the house. I have never had my own car I did move our briefly when I was 23 but that didn’t […]
i have been cutting myself for the past 6 yrs, as well as making myself vomit. i have been doing this since i was 9 yrs old. im adopted, and i hate the family that i am in now. my parents never let me do what i want and my dad offten touches me in ways that i do not like. i have been phsically bullied and only recently moved on, people at school make fun of me and call me an emo and anorexic. i feel like everyhting is pointless and theirs no reason to keep going. the only things im good at […]
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If you ever decide to cut just remember.. Once you cut you get addicted. Your life will revolve around cutting.. In your life it will be all about cutting.. Will I cut today.? Will anyone become suspicious about the long sleeves today.? You may think you can keep it undercontrol but your wrong. It will become all you can think about. You will crave it during the day.. You will loose you ability to open up to people. You will think to yourself.. “I need to hide my cuts.. I need to hide my scars.. I need to cut again and hide them all […]
So i know this might get annoying but i think im going to start posting on here. My parents always find my diary so im going to just vent and hope for the best….
IÂ throw up alot now……
Cuttting isnt so bad
Also suicide has kicked back in
may 29
What a watchful eye. Not a moment is there just for myself.
Those who I confide in my outer most opinion know nothing of my inner pain or what I really think. Those who I have believe I can share this with are no longer the high points of my life. I’m too personal, well I would if anyone took the interest. No one wants the opinion of a 16 year old with all the gadgets and a loving girlfriend. He has the life, what’s to complain about. IM ALONE! I’m fucking alone damnit! What do you care? You don’t! Bu still I will listen […]