What a watchful eye. Not a moment is there just for myself.
Those who I confide in my outer most opinion know nothing of my inner pain or what I really think. Those who I have believe I can share this with are no longer the high points of my life. I’m too personal, well I would if anyone took the interest. No one wants the opinion of a 16 year old with all the gadgets and a loving girlfriend. He has the life, what’s to complain about. IM ALONE! I’m fucking alone damnit! What do you care? You don’t! Bu still I will listen […]
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Parents
I’m new to this website. I’ve been suicidal for a few months now. It’s gotten so bad in such a short amount of time, and it’s scaring me.
You see, I don’t want to die. I really don’t. But it’s the only way out. I can’t leave my town, because I’m only 14. My mom won’t home school me. I don’t have one friend. I kept telling people how I felt, and then people stopped caring all of a sudden. They just stopped talking to me, and they stopped asking what was wrong. I have literally–absolutely– no one. My parents yell when I get depressed. My […]
hi, i’m only new on this site and this is my first post, i am a teenager and i often feel depressed and i cut myself i planned out my suicide and the note i would leave for my family but i never actually decided to go ahead with it. i get really depressed and everything seems 2 bring me down even when i’m happy i’m down i hope some people can relate 2 this and understand it. its like when i cut myself i can release emotions and i know i sound crazy but i don’t know who to talk to i hide my marks from […]
I’m at the edge of breaking into tears, at the edge of an hysterical attack… I want to scream and yell and hit the walls and bit my arms and just lose my self control for a little while. But right now I just can’t, I can’t go crazy in the middle of my class.
Today I’m having a down and it’s the worst, I’ve been feeling like crap since the very moment I woke up. I think that if I die, none of the ones around me will even notice, I’m nothing more than the shy girl who hides behind the anger and her phone […]
this is really hard for me to post this.
i feel like i should. but I’m so nervous about even sharing it with people i will never know.
it started back when i was about 13. I felt really down. I didn’t really have any main friendship groups. I was having trouble with my family ad i just always had this feeling of being useless. I held a blade to my wrist. I wasn’t really sure what I was doing. I just felt like this was a way to make the pain seem real. and i still have scars there today 3 years later. This went on […]
One year and 40 days ago I started a diet.
That diet quickly took over my entire life, exposing mental disorders that had been hidden before.
One eating disorder showed so much more… generalized anxiety disorder, a mild form of ptsd, cyclothymic disorder (mild form of bipolar).
My family had been perfect, but when it fell apart i didn’t know how to express the pain. I pushed it down for over 4 years.
All of that pain suddenly came out in the form of starving, throwing up, and cutting.
Slowly, I lost myself.
I had to pretend I was okay, I had to be perfect.
I lied to everyone.
I fought help at […]
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person.. thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
by niki
written by niki
I’m useless in this “real world”….I’m such a fucking impractical, too imaginative person…
thus, I don’t belong here in this mundane, dull, boring real world..!
I often feel like I belong to another planet, universe, or perhaps another ‘spiritual’ plane, dimension,..something like that.
my super-vivid imagination’s world / universe is often a HUNDRED times much more lively, interesting, exciting, thrilling, and challenging than this apparently “Law and Order, all about money/profits and status” shallow, mundane, meaningless real world !
it’s my curse.
fuck my life..
get the hell me out of this fucking Matrix , please , somebody!
there should be an OPTION to get the fuck […]
From 3rd – 5th grade I was that sweet and shy little innocent girl but then when 6th grade came I turned into a tougher girl and still am. I hate the new me, I hate my life, I hate everything! I just want to go back to the sweet and shy little innocent girl I was years ago. Ever since my dog, Lillie, died the day after my birthday in February this year I have become so depressed. She was like a dog version of me. I loved her. But then God decided to take her away from me by making her […]
People tell me that with time, i’ll start to feel happy again. I guess its sort of right. I always have my happy moments, but somehow it has to stop. Something always wrecks it.
Today my mom broke up with her boyfriend, he was such a good guy to her.. She really deserves a person like him, i just think shes afraid to get attatched again since my parents divorce. Anyway, she got rid of her bed because it was his, and she is sleeping on the floor for a while. I wanted to give her my bed for the time being, but she would […]
Hahaha nothing really matters anymore and no one acts like they care so why should I. My hatred for everyone who talks/looks at me continues to grow. I care for almost no one and like i said they don’t seem to care about me. I wake up feeling numb and emotionless my nightmares wake me up in the night giving me the only sense of emotion I have.  I hate life tonight i think i am going to try suicide for the 4th time and it most likely won’t work ( let’s just say I would make a really sucky murderer) and when it doesn’t work it […]
My birthday, just another day. 17 years of age and somehow, I wish I were older, perhaps wiser, because if all of the things I’m facing now are making me want to end it all, dear God, what will I do when I’m older?My parents didn’t say happy birthday, and my best friend called me at 3:00 am to tell me it, he’s my everything, he’s the reason I get up in the morning. And I can’t tell him that because of what everyone would think. It’s not that, I wish, but it’s not. He’s had my back since 1st grade. He’s just amazing. But […]
So after keeping everything bottled up inside me I decided I have to share my real feelings.
Hmm…where to start? I guess when everything began.
I had just moved to this town in Texas because my father’s in the military. I was excited about the new experience. I had my heart set on going to this cool elementary school, Cielo Vista, but I couldn’t. So I had to go to Bliss, one of the worst elementary schools in the city. Thank god I was only there for 5th grade. Anyways, I was always a bit on the sad side. But when I got here, everything seemed to […]
I’m scared.
I have no idea what to do. I think all this stress is getting to me. I want to go back and make everything better. I think I’m getting an eating disorder. I KNOW I’m not fat, but when I look at my self, I feel disgusted. I never feel like I’m good enough. I messed up, and I can’t fix it, no matter how bad I want too. I feel like my whole world is crashing down on me. I’m sick. Mentally and physicality. I can’t take it anymore.
I have these body pains that I know aren’t normal. I don’t like going to the […]
Just a high schooler. Honors classes, president of NHS, student council etc. good grades, good amount of close friends. I’m above average when it comes to school. But at school, I feel like I’m invisible, like if I were to die one day, it wouldn’t matter. And that goes for at home too. I’m not abused at all, or anything bad like that, but I have something wrong with me mentally, I crave attention. It’s to the point where I cut myself and don’t try to cover it. I have made myself throw up because I always get called names like “fatty” or “pig” by […]
Everything seems to be slipping out of my hands right now. My relationship with my boyfriend, who was also my best friend. My relationship with my parents. My mom has just left the house. I am here trying to drown my grief somehow. I dont know what to do. I have younger siblings I should take care of right? But I need to be taken care of. My boyfriend is not understanding. he doesn’t even know what else I am going through. Im so lost and confused.
My name is Elizabeth. I am 14 years old, and I’ve wished for death for a couple of years, and I’m certain it is the only thing I’ll be able to succeed in this life; I’ve tried not to think about it, but it always comes back. In moments when I’m lonely and when it’s silent, I’ll think of death and how to achieve it. I wish I was normal, that I didn’t have these thoughts. I wish I could have changed the way my mind works, and how it always tells me to ruin things. I’ve lied to everyone I’ve talked to, I’ve insulted […]
It isn’t its not wrong or selfish. Its a personal choice, I don’t feel guilty about how my parents would feel because they brought me here. It is my life and I will choose what I do as I like to say Death before Taxes. I don’t see meaning in life and I can’t enjoy it. We all die eventually and I dont see why later than now? I don’t want to be part of society and am terrible around people. I hate the expectations on my life from society and My parents and country that I never agreed to. I didn’t sign up for […]
I went on my first date with Jasmine. Although it took nearly forever to get to see her (about 2 hours), I got to see her and whatever deity or unknown force decided to fuck off today.Â
Alex, her brother was there too. He understands the situation now and so does my brother, I love Jasmine and there’s nothing that will change it.Â
Even though I feel sexual thoughts for her, let me tell you that since she’s a girl, and I’m a guy, then that means… I will get sexual feelings for her? Yeah thats right.Â
But I was so nervous it took me till we were […]
I remember a line from the movie “the lives of others” and there was this line about suicide being “the death of hope.” Â That’s what I feel like.
I have no hope. Â None. Â I have no hope that my life is ever going to get better and that I will one day be a happy, content person. Â Whatever happiness I’ve ever had in my life has been fleeting. Â It’s only ever been when I was with two of my girlfriends. Â Both relationships ended when they dumped me at around the two month mark. Â I don’t see the point in deluding myself that it will ever get […]
I’m a 24 year old man who has had breasts (gynecomastia) since I was 10.
My health has been slowly deteriorating and have many un-diagnosed health problems.
I’ll probably be dead by 30 due to these ‘natural’ causes.
I was born into poverty to foolish parents and no family support.
At this point in life, I tend to focus on the negatives in every person and thing.
My depression makes me want to help others who are also feeling depressed because I know how horrible it is.
Your life is valuable, so don’t throw it away when you can use it to help other people, which is the purpose of […]