I wanted to call him so badly. I hurt him telling my story and my addiction of self harm. He needed to hear my voice and i needed to hear his. But i couldnt call him because my parents would hear the conversation. They know nothing about him or my problems. They don’t need to know and they probably don’t give a shit. They are part of the problem too anyways. I asked him how he was really feeling. And he answered with lonely. I feel horrible. I feel lonely everyday and i don’t want him to feel that pain. I don’t know the future […]
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Parents
I’m 30 years old, female. Ever since I was a child, I had a hard life (I prefer to not get into details about that). I never envisioned a real future for myself. While most kids thought about what they wanted to study in college or what they wanted to be when they grow up, there were only 2 things that I envisioned for myself: 1) jumping off high rise buildings to end the suffering, and 2) finding the love of my life to rescue me from this misery and live happily ever after. Well, I’m single now, went through 3 serious/heartbreaking relationships where the […]
Yes I’m suicidal, hence my username. That may explain the dream of me seeing a documentary on TV about a boy who commit suicide and was dead but lived? ( yeah my dreams don’t like logic) anyway, I watch the entire documentary; it showed where and how he grew up and how he killed himself and his funeral ceremony. At the end the boy who committed suicide was alive and grown up saying theres hope for all depressed teenagers. That was when I broke my eyes away from my TV and realised that I was sitting in my living room which had a mahogany coffin […]
I am a 22 year old male currently considering suicide. I have depression, as well as a bout of terrible luck. But I can’t die yet. Not until I’ve at least gotten to spill my guts somewhere. So I’m doing this as an experiment. I can’t vent to anyone in my close circle of friends, because I have constructed such an elaborate facade, I’m not sure if they’d even take it seriously. So I figure doing so anonymously will be just as cathartic.
My parents got divorced when I was four. It is the first memory I have. It was not a pleasant divorce, to say […]
Nobody needs me. Sure my parents might love me. Atleast thats how its supposed to be. My mom and i used to be bestfriends. Now she makes fun of me. How i look or even things i do. Yeah, i laugh along with her but thats how good i am about hiding things. Its too much now. Ive told her that it hurts my feelings. You know what her reaction was? She laughed. I had a serious face. And she didn’t give a shit. I’ve done nothing to deserve this. I’m No bully. I’m that girl that if you hit her or annoy me. I […]
i don’t know how to continue on with my everyday life. in my family, among my friends, nobody knows how i feel.
i hate who i am, i hate how weak i am, i didn’t get abused by my family or anyone at all, i’ve got both my parents so i keep telling myself im not allowed to feel sorry for myself, so many people is worse off than me. but i still feel sorry, and that makes me hate me more.
i’ve been sad and hurting since i started noticing my mother wasn’t normal, she and my dad are devorced. and my two older sisters never took […]
This is the first time I am putting this in writing much less saying it to anyone. I have been suicidal ever since I can remember. I first tried to commit suicide when I was in grade 5, I think that would make me 11. I had heard in news about a guy who wanted to commit suicide by over-dosing but ended up killing his niece and nephew when they consumed the desert he had made for himself with plenty of sleeping pills. I was young then so I didn’t know just how much “plenty” meant. I asked my maid-servant (I am from Asia and it’s normal […]
I know I keep posting…basically I guess I am trying to get my thoughts,feelings out before I die. I dont want to be saved,Im too far gone at this point. I think as I draw closer to the end I just need to purge this poison as much as possible….so bear with me. Or dont,I guess no one needs to read this. Dont necessarily need a reply.
Had another huge fight with BF on phone last night..still refuses to come back home,now trying to say he wants to talk to my therapist first. he keeps threatening to stay down there and never come back. His goddamn […]
My story isn’t this huge story that will make everyone teary-eyed ,a and have people wanting to feel sorry for me everywhere . No , im just a 14 year old girl w/ a fucked up life . But my story is real , and it means something to me that someone just read it and actually hear what i’ve been through . I need more faith in myself , i talk back to my parents too much , i want to cry right now , i pretend everything’s okay when it’s really not , i just can’t seem to understand math ,i am a […]
I went away for 3 days, to visit my sister at her university. It was a nice break from my parents. They’ve never really been the best to me. I had an awesome time, I returned in such good spirits because when I was over there I didn’t have  a care in the world. I was in a different city, a good 4 hours from where I live. I barely texted anyone so it was just a clear-mind vacation (I know it was only 3 days) So that was fun, but as soon as I get home they start being rude. My parents like to […]
This was posted on Tumblr but I felt like it was worth sharing on here:
You’re sitting at your desk, and you know it’s time to go. You’ve said that to yourself over a million times, but this time you know, for sure, is real. You’re tired… you’re just so very tired. You’re parents pissed you off, like school wasn’t bad enough today. You go to get the rope, or the knife, or the gun or whatever you choose to use because you’re that desperate. You’re ready. You think of it as some game… the first one dead is the one who wins. No ones home, […]
hello internet
i just wanna write something what i think of stuff, hope you can underestand what i mean because english is not my first language. I found this page by searching google for information about hanging. Sitting in my room alone ( im not going to kill myself) just thinking about that if someone wants to kill themselves they should be allowed to. If youre over 18 and havnt got any mental health problems which would affect your ability to make decisions. its your decision and alot of people are lying that they care and just talking stuff like they know but they just saying […]
im so scared in a couple hours i will be going to my firist therapy. i dont know if it will help or just make things worse. can i really tell her my whole life. the life my parents dont know. is she going to ask the last time i tried to hurt/kill myself. will i have to go every week or once a month just so confusing….
I’ve been suicidal for so many years, I’m pretty much not even hiding it, yet nobody fucking care, I can tell you that. When I first decided I wanted to end with life, I was like “ok I’m done with life, maybe I can just have fun before I do”, that resumed playing video games day and night, and staying locked up in my bedroom at least I was having fun. Only getting out at night to eat when I know my parents are asleep. This dragged on and on always like “let’s do that one more day”. I live on the day by day […]
My note
I made a stupid decision.  I know it’s selfish, and I’m doing it for the stupidest reason.  I can’t help how I feel.  I have felt like this for a long time.  If you want to know why, Jackie has the full story.  She knows me better than anyone else.
To my mom and dad
I love both of you very much.  You were amazing parents.  I loved going to disney world.  I loved going to mexico.  I loved going on bike rides with you dad.  I grew distant from both of you, and i don’t entirely know why.  Over the past few years, I’ve […]
I tried to kill myself a year and a half ago. After I got out of the hospital, it was easier than it is now to be hopeful. I could think about the future, imagine the sky was the limit. I could reinvent myself completely. I could forgive myself for the things I used to say and the way I used to be. But…a lot of time has passed since then, and in so many ways I’m not different, and I’m not better. I still feel completely alone most of the time. I still haven’t really found a place in life I belong. I don’t […]
Hi. This is my first time ever posting to this site or anything like this site. I found this site doing research for my suicide, but I’ve come back multiple times just to read the posts because it seems that there are people here I can identify with.
So I suppose that I should tell my suicide story? I will try, but it’s not much of a story. It’s nothing compared to some of the things I read here, or see and hear at school. I know I have no right to feel the way I do, but that knowledge doesn’t change what I feel, it […]
Daily I think about suicide, but I don’t act on it. It’s just that, combined with school, discovering my sexuality, my appearance and family problems, I don’t know what else to do. Every time I think about this, I think I’m being irrational, but I still can’t help the urge to do it. One thing that really led me to this was discovering I was sexually attracted to girls. Being a girl myself, I find this very hard to understand, due to the fact that I’ve had crushes on guys in the past.
When I think back on it now, sometimes I wonder whether this was […]
I will be 15 in 3 weeks. My depression started when i was 13. I began to start cutting myself. Now i have scars left on my arms as a memory. The last time i cut was in December. I would cut whenever something would really upset me. Then when i was 13 my mom implied that i was fat so i developed an eating disorder and i lost 30 pounds from that so far. I have not recovered from either. I have a tendency of relapsing. When all of this began someone came into my life and he tried to help me. He was […]
I’ve been depressed and suicidal recently with no one to talk of my issues with. I recently decided to talk to the school counselor about my problems. At first, everything was great, but then from the depression test results she decided that she needs to talk to my parents about my depression (the talk is tomorrow night shit shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck fuck) as well as getting me to see my pediatrician about things I can do (antidepressants stuff).
I’m really starting to regret talking to my counselor and wish there was some other way of doing this without making things more complicated than […]