Tag:

part

What’s the worst that could happen?

by thehusk 8/6/2015

written by thehusk

Most of my life is dominated by fear. So why not lay it out. What’s the worst thing that I can imagine?

I suppose it’s experiencing neverending pain, torment, horror, terror etc. That’s what ideas of hell tend to invoke. It’s hard to imagine feeling that kind of extreme negative emotion non-stop, for all eternity. Surely you’d become numb to any kind of torture, given enough time. But I can’t dismiss it entirely. The idea of hell has a deep grip on a part of my psyche. Because it feels I deserve that kind of punishment. I can’t really square that with my rational side. I […]

8/6/2015 4 comments

last cigarette ever

by tphg 8/6/2015

written by tphg

Walking back to work today from my lunch break, I started thinking about the piano(keyboard) sitting in my apartment. I’ve had it for a year but have only played with it twice; still on the first couple pages of my 6 week lesson guide. I bought it to fulfill part of the destiny I laid out for myself. When you’re as cowardly as I am, suicide is nothing more than a silent longing, and so I fully expect myself to reach old age.

If and when I do make it to gray hair and wrinkles, I want to be away from society and on a farm. […]

8/6/2015 10 comments

i think i know how

by Mark_1981 8/4/2015

written by Mark_1981

I have read The Peaceful Pill and I think I know how I’d like to go. I won’t post it but knowing the how somehow gives me a slight sense of peace in amongst all the chaos.

A very small part of me tells me to keep going, struggle on. A mountainous part of me however speaks to the contrary telling me that my struggle has been long (and it has) with no hope of living any sort of life away from the angst that consumes me. I have posted before parts of my struggles. They don’t begin to explain the war that exists inside of […]

8/4/2015 3 comments

My relationship is being bludgeoned over and over by my inaction in slow motion.

by Trapped in My Head 7/21/2015

written by Trapped in My Head

It feels like ages ago that I met my boyfriend, only it’s only been a matter of weeks. That time, I was still paying for my own rent with my part time job, and going for a language class.

I was contented with my life that time, because I lived in the same city as my younger sister, who was attending university there. I was new to the city myself, so I had no friends except those I saw in class. It was hard to talk to them more than just “schoolmates” so it was bland for my tastes. I decided to get some folks to […]

7/21/2015 1 comment

My demons are permanent

by LonelyVoice 7/20/2015

written by LonelyVoice

Where do I begin with the shit excuse of a life I have to live? Where do I not begin? Well, my problems aren’t temporary…at least not all of them. It’s not something that some simple exercise can get rid of or basic makeup. It’s…hard to explain but it makes me wish my problems could just consist of being “fat” or having been molested, being poor, or whatever temporary pain someone is going through. Because in my opinion those are things you can overcome. They are permanent and you can make a change. What I go through everyday has been going on for years.

I’m 20 […]

7/20/2015 2 comments

I see the beauty

by ariel24 7/12/2015

written by ariel24

My name is Ariel

never really done this, talk about how I feel out in the open with people. I’m 24 been thinking about suicide since I was 16. I haven’t hust thought about it I’ve actually tried a few times. Could never really go thru with it completely. But I’ve tried. The worst part is that I know who I would be hurting, what I would be losing, I see the beauty of life, I see how beautiful the sky is when the sun is slightly shining upon my face, even tho it’s 100 degrees outside. I see the meaning of life In my little […]

7/12/2015 2 comments

Ruin

by Heiwana 7/10/2015

written by Heiwana

The building is falling part by part, day after day, so the question is:

Jump now or die in the debris?

7/10/2015 2 comments

It’s time

by bayareaguy 7/8/2015

written by bayareaguy

No more heart or diabetes meds………..time to let nature take its course. I flushed them all down the toilet.

I’m not angry or seeking to hurt anyone. What I am, is lonely to the point of exhaustion. There is nothing out “there” because there is nothing in “here”, no value, no worth and no reason to exist. I know it sounds dramatic, but I just want to rest, to sleep and be at peace.

I could be here for days, weeks, months or even years more. I don’t know.

There was an actor named George Sanders. His most famous film, I would say, was All About Eve, which […]

7/8/2015 3 comments

Only a matter of time…

by jadedkeizy 7/6/2015

written by jadedkeizy

Today I woke up to a very shitty morning and a job I hate. I don’t hate the job per se but I just lost interest in the things that I used to hold dear. I posted a part of my story on here a few days back so I don’t wanna regurgitate any of my erst while ramblings. But for those reading a post by me for the first time, I mentioned how I’d dropped out, lost my job a couple years ago after being decimated by a bout of depression. I took to vagabondage and sloth after that dreadful scenario because I had […]

7/6/2015 1 comment

Mystery Illness

by ciz 7/3/2015

written by ciz

I was happy before the pain began. I was a better person.

Going on three years now of a mystery illness that’s drained me of who I am. Been to several doctors this past year, took a whole year off from college and still no answers. I have just continued to feel worse and worse. I have lost all functionality as a human being. My family now expects me to get a job because at 22 I can’t be taken care of forever but I can’t work.

I don’t want to kill myself because of a lack of caring on anyone’s part. My family has helped me […]

7/3/2015 6 comments

It Hurts

by thehusk 7/1/2015

written by thehusk

I think I may have cancer. I found what could be a lump. Of course it could be lots of others things. Or nothing at all. The rational thing would be to get it checked out. But a part of me thinks ‘If it is cancer, then that’s for the best. Let it spread.’ It would be a way out. I wouldn’t have to commit suicide. I wouldn’t have to do that to my parents. They wouldn’t be left with all the anger, confusion, and bitterness that suicide brings. There’d still be grief, but they could find closure and move on. I could talk to […]

7/1/2015 8 comments

“WHO DOES REALLY CARE?”

by coolworld187 6/28/2015

written by coolworld187

For a person that is already struggling and have been struggling for years there to see those is alot of extra hurt and pain when those ones closes to You don’t really try to help support or care so You continue to EXPERIENCE A LIFE FULL SORROW AND DISPAIR THAT IS PLACED ON YOU IN THE FORM OF MENTAL ILLNESS! Which through My Wife And Two Daughter’s Eyes, Which By The Way, Believe In Christ Jesus, Plan And Simple That Their Husband And Father is just “CRAZY!” How fun and rewarding it is to see those closes to You are more than Willing To Help […]

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6/28/2015 2 comments

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14 poem

by alonelybird 6/28/2015

written by alonelybird

Spitting fire
Pointed towards
The gloomy pyre
The festival is bright
Like your eyes
Remember the days?
I do
I’ll always remember you
Head bowed
I let a tear slip
Quickly it evaporates
But not before I pass on
It is clear
In my mind there is peace

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6/28/2015 4 comments

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Most of the request from GCHQ to google relate to suicide suspects- a huge part of the reason I want to commit suicide is due to the snooping world

by suicidesojourn 6/25/2015

written by suicidesojourn

Bollocks to GCHQ people who want to kill themselves due to the intrusiveness and ill autonomy of life want to snoop on us who feel naked, exposed, shamed and guilty with a history that included over zealous parents, another own goal for the assholes working for government who has destroyed america through drugs, illegal or otherwise, and the looting of the taxpayer and the economy. retards in hell deserve to leave a hell of a future for their kids in the future- what goes around comes around- twats

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6/25/2015 0 comment

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Everyone Has Exes

by The Distress 6/21/2015

written by The Distress

Everyone has exes, everyone has little pieces of their heart that belong to other people, and it just becomes a part of who you are.

If I love enough people, will there be no more pieces of my heart that can belong to others?

Is it worth to live without a heart?

I am so lonely.

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6/21/2015 7 comments

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moon

by silvermoon 6/20/2015

written by silvermoon

i write the moon for you

the sad silver part

you thought would never shine

for you

i write the waves for you, soft currents

i know your pain is so immense

the moments they rejected you

let the waves wash healing waters

over all of you

let the moon cast away the darkness

with its silver beauty

forked tongue not of death but licking you clean

let the honey wash and heal you

i know this road is bitter

trust me, my darling

and some day let every word you could never utter

be spoken

like beauty

pearled

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6/20/2015 6 comments

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Tell them all we’re dead.

by sickfromthemelt 6/20/2015

written by sickfromthemelt

So, I had a conversation today:

Me: Hey…
Sister’s friend: Hi (my name), how are ya?
Me: Alive.
Sister’s friend: *nervous laughter* Well, that’s good.
Me: Depends on your perspective.
Sister’s friend: *more nervous laughter* You’re funny…

This aggravates me, far be it from me to seek attention or, god forbid, support, but it seems like people, especially the ones around me, feel comfortable ignoring every snide and brutally honest comment I make, do I have to hold up a sign?

Hell, while I’m reminiscing, gather ’round kids, let me tell you a story:

Late(ish) last year, I was walking home, along a busy street, when some kids started […]

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6/20/2015 1 comment

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Sad

by Vincent 6/18/2015

written by Vincent

I’m happy sometimes. I met this girl thousands of miles away and she makes me happy. But sometimes I just get really sad out of nowhere. I get down on myself and hate every part of my being. I think about suicide really often, I have been for three whole years now. I even went to therapy but I stopped going because it didn’t work or feel right. I feel fucking insane.

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6/18/2015 4 comments

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dream

by keeprunning 6/12/2015

written by keeprunning

Writing is a huge part of me as a person. When I’m lonely or depressed, or even when I’m feeling suicidal, I sit down in front of my computer and write a short story about depression. Sometimes the character kills herself in the end, and sometimes she drifts off to sleep and the ending becomes ambiguous. Sometimes it’s not even about suicide. But writing fills me with hope, and it seems to be something I can follow.

One day I went to my Language Arts teacher to talk about a poor grade I had received on a allegorical-type story. I asked her if she had interpreted it wrong […]

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6/12/2015 3 comments

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When is it time?

by Estelwen 6/8/2015

written by Estelwen

I’ve thought about killing myself almost daily since I was 12 years old. I am now 25. My plan/methods became more refined as I got older until I reached a detailed, effective plan. I feel as though I am marching inexorably towards my suicide, even if there is still a very small part of me that doesn’t really want to die. Every time that little part gets drowned out by the suicidal thoughts, I seize the opportunity to purchase another piece of equipment or put another affair in order. Everything is almost ready.

How do I know when it’s time to go?

While I’m at it, in support […]

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6/8/2015 2 comments

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