I was at that muslim cemetery you were buried in, which is a little heart wrenching because you are without a doubt athiest. I found some kind of ritual you can do to bring a loved one back for a little while, it was hell to do, but it was possible and I did it. You came back but it wasn’t the same. You were happier, and more at peace, rather you were still your condescending self. Just not as much. We talked for a while, and I felt so much better. Your family members and some friends came to the gravesite. Some could see […]
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People
I’m tired. Really really tired. I just realized something today. I’ve been struggling my whole life for what? Nothing I do can change the outcome of my life. All I can do is choose whether I want to make things more difficult for myself or not.
I haven’t seen my therapist in almost a month. I know I should contact her and I feel bad for not showing up. But, talking with her is painful. It reminds me of what things should be like and how I want things to be. But, that’s never going to happen for me.
I could go to school. I could suck […]
Being alone…is something deadly easily overlooked by “normal people”
by OddOneOut
written by OddOneOut
All I want…all that I REALLY want…is just someone who wants to talk to me…that’s all I need right now…and there’s just no-one. No-one that wants to, because I’m the weird guy who’s always so negative and annoying.
I have things to share,
But no-one really cares…
Nobody knows me at all.
I got lots of friends.
Yes, but then again…
Nobody knows me at all.
And nobody ever wants to.
I don’t blame them for it. I shouldn’t be bothering people with my problems. They don’t wanna know and they have every right to ignore me.
But I really need someone right now. The girl […]
i wake up thinking about killing myself, i go through the days crying, wishing i wasn’t here. i don’t know how much longer i can deal with this. it’s fucking draining. i think about all the pros there’d be if i were gone; there are hardly any cons. it would just be so much better and easier for the people i care about. i feel like such a burden, i’m a failure too. i’ve been letting everyone down and i’m so sorry. all of my personal issues and disorders are getting worse and i’m scared. i’m so scared. scared of living this life. scared of […]
I lie awake at night and i think back when i saw razor blades and i was tempted to buy one. But i decided not too. I look back and think to myself “Why did not I buy it? Why did i stop myself” And i thought to myself there are no heroes, no one will save you from your depressing life. You have to be your own hero and save yourself. Because no one else will, and no one else will try, and as i lay here in bed i think to myself ” I am my own hero and I will save myself”
The Butterfly Project, for everyone who self-harm or who cares about self-harmers <3
by Engeltje
written by Engeltje
A while ago I read something about The Butterfly Project. It’s a project to help self-harmers to stop with self-harm. I wanted to share this with the people here, so I decided to make a post with the rules and how to. I am also a cutter for exactly one year now. I really want to join this project one day, but I feel I’m not ready for it yet.
The Butterfly Project
The Rules:
1. When you feel like you want to cut, take a marker, pen, or sharpies and draw a butterfly on the place you want to cut.
2. Name the butterfly after […]
People say that people cut for attention.
Many cutters fight back saying things like “If it’s for attention, why are we hiding? Why are we lying?”
But I think that it’s completely different.
I don’t want anyone to know that I cut. I don’t want people to try to help me.Â
But sometimes I fantasize about someone seeing a glimpse of my wrist. I imagine that they grab my arm and stare, shocked. I want them to ask me why. And I want to tell them.
I don’t want people to know.
But all I want is to scream at the top of my lungs about how much it hurts.
Maybe it […]
or if you are the same batch of people from before. if you remember me reach out please. i’d like to hear from some old friends. theres a reason i’m back sadly
I’m so old and haven’t really had a chance to live.
I was abused as a child by people I trusted. I was raped as a teen for walking alone. I married to young to a sadist who would drug and rape me.  He’d make videos and take pictures. But, since we are married,he owns me I guess. The police don’t care at all. He seldom left marks you could see.  I don’t remember conceiving two of my children.
So when I do leave,hoping for a better life I find that a year late everything is still shit and I just want to die. Â It wold stop all the […]
Hundreds of people a day, if not thousands, join this website wanting someone to hear their voice, to understand them, to be welcomed with open arms by people who have been in the same situations as them. This leads me to think, how many of the people who aren’t with us anymore are dead?
i should be happy. i’ve got a great girlfriend, i’ve got a few good friends, i’ve got my cat..
i’m not alone, so why do i feel this way?
no matter how many times someone will tell me i’m worth it or that suicide is never an option, i can’t help but think, fuck you. seriously though, fuck you, to everybody who thinks they understand, to everybody who won’t listen when i tell them they don’t understand. i feel so alone because nobody really knows me, only i can know myself, who of which i can’t even fully comprehend. so yea, people can tell me i’m worth […]
I suppose I should begin by saying that I’m not seriously considering suicide, and even if I were I don’t think I could go through with it. That being said, this seems like an appropriate place to share in a way that I’ve never even attempted to in real life.
Upon first talking to me, people generally assume that things go well for me and that I’m on some sort of path to success. I’m intelligent, educated, have a good sense of humor and have always had strong natural talent in music, which has been the focus of the last 8 years or so of my […]
Recently I’ve noticed that the more social I become the more suicidal thoughts I feel. I was with my friend yesterday and I was fine but as time went on I felt so insecure I don’t remember my exact thoughts but I know that they were self-hating it’s funny how I get lonely yet I feel awful when with people I feel like I don’t matter which I really don’t. I really feel upset when I hear good news from other people like oh ” so and so is doing so well they’re doing (insert activity here)” it just makes me feel like I had more going […]
Well, i thought it was time to introduce myself. I’m a girl, sixteen years and I’m from The Netherlands (Please don’t mind my spelling and grammar) . My nickname (Engeltje) is Dutch and it means (Little) Angel. I live in the area of Amsterdam (I guess most of you know Amsterdam :P) . I live with my parents and an older sister. So that’s the general part and now a part that goes about my life. Okay, I’ll try to keep it short, so I will only tell the most important things.
I don’t know how it goes in the USA, but in The Netherlands […]
Yeah I hate my life, but at least I don’t pretend anyone cares. I don’t delude myself with fantasies that my deep, tortured writings are too sophisticated for my peers, or reflect some unappreciated brilliance. I’m a useless tool just like all of you, it’s why we’re on this blog. I’m not special, and I wasn’t meant to live for more than the nothing I’ve created for myself. Stop writing bad poetry. Just do what I’m doing and sit by yourselves and cry about the hell you’ve turned your lives into, but good God do it humbly.
And stop pretending you’re worth more than you feel you are; […]
Been a little while. Hi everyone. Whenever I think about suicide (which has been happening more and more frequently) I always try to figure out why I want to die. The main thing I’ve decided that drives towards suicide is an increasing lack of interest in everything. It all sounds so dull and tedious. There are times when I just want to be alone and sleep, times when being dead and people leaving me alone sounds very enticing. That’s actually one of the more frequent desires I find myself having during my moments. I suppose the other thing I find interesting about death is rather […]
And as my pain settled over feeling lost, I started talking to my friend again. And I guess I got a bit pissed. I made her believe she hurt me 🙁 It hurt her and now she hates me xs
Why can’t I just deal with people the way I should ? Why do I always have to push away the people I care about. I’m a horrible person. I’m a horrible drunk, stoned, carving motherfuck. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself!!! I deserve to die 🙁 and if it weren’t for other people I can’t betray like that, I would 🙁
So I was thinking a lot about my life…and how it turned out so far. Everyone that I know thinks I live such a good life, or atleast should. I have such a nice house, live in literally the nicest neighboorhood, have two parents, perfect grades, colleges asking ME to apply to THEM, own my own car, work at an IT job that pays a lot, have perfect skin….
And yet that brings me no joy, I’m missing the happiness from it all. I don’t want that. What am I leaving out from what I already said? Oh yeah…how I was raised in the hood, or […]
I’ve been on this site many times before…Reading this blog is like reading the Bible to me. It’s refreshing to be able to read all the honest feelings in these posts. I am not happy to read about how so many of us are suffering, but at the same time, it’s nice to know that I am not alone in how I feel at times…Well most of the time. I wish that I could accurately describe how fucked up my life is…It really is exceptionally miserable. I’ve spent the majority of my life with depression and anxiety…But I always had hope for the the future..Hope for […]
do you ever feel you shouldnt feel the way you feel you feel like you done something wrong. people always say you have nothing to worry about stop being so depressed. ive been through alot and seen too much. thats about as real as it gets. i have “excuses”.some people just dont understand. walk in my shoes, go ahead. comment if you hear me.