I have a great life: wonderful friends, supportive family, Ivy-league education, but I am tired of all of this.
I can’t concentrate on my school work. When I read something, I the words flutter across the page and land in a jumbled mess that I can’t decipher; when I’m with friends, their conversations fade in and out, and I can’t follow what’s going on half the time. My parents, although they don’t wish for anything but my happiness, are always concerned about how I am, which makes me even more stressed and I never tell them how I am really feeling, because I think that […]
Tag:
People
The title says how I feel and how I am.
Pretty much a useless person. I think I am kind to people most of the time, but in terms of helping others, I don’t know how to do it.
Simple things like chores are hard because I haven’t been taught, and apparently, you need sight for a lot of things.
I don’t like wallowing in self-pistty, but let’s be honest, if I stayed, this world wouldn’t be better, and if I left, the world wouldn’t be better anyways.
Am I depressed? Yes. But what can be done? I see a councilor, which is ok, but […]
When I was 7 y.o.,I am 45 now,a deer in a full sprint almost ran me over during a walk I took along a path during a family reunion in a Pennsylvania park.I could feel the course hair rub up against my stomach.So close to death,but not near enough so that I would of had the “eternal bliss’ that would of been  given me.When  I was an evangelical christian ,I thought that God had a special purpose for my life because of this incident.What a foolish thing to believe on my part.I wish that I was 2 more inches ahead so that deer would of wasted […]
ive been doing some thinking lately, which isnt really normal for me. im usually impulsive, which isnt good since its got me where im at today.
but i dont really think im suicidal, more like i just want to stop existing in this world. and the only way to escape it is to die. but i think i would still be the same way i am now, even if life had dealt me a different hand. i would always feel lonely, even if i was surrounded by people. i just feel like im different, everything im into or not into doesnt fit the fold. everything i […]
Fuck it. Every fucking day starts out like this.
Wake up. Wait for my ***** ass mom to get fucking ready for work so she can drive me to school.
Fucking school. All my teachers are dirty 80 year old cunts who fuck up people’s eardrums with their bullshit.
Next shitty period. Im sitting with my friend and somebody goes “HA, Jason sucks dick!” and everybody laughs.
I go the hell home. My mom yells at me for fucking up in school. My grades suck, and her job is never done until she makes my life even fucking worse than it already is.
I go to karate. My instructor […]
Why? Just why, is it that it’s always the same thing that happens over and over and over? People just constantly use me and never for a second take into consideration what I do for them? I’m sick of always being the one looking after everyone. The one who’s always there. The one who’s never appreciated, not even for a second. Everyone just always takes me for an absolute fool. I’m sick of it. I really am. I’d love just for a while if people could actually see how lonely I really am. Just how shit everything really is. But no one could be bothered […]
hi everyone, for the past month ive been in hospital. you may of read the other posts but if you didnt then ill explain, when i tried to commit suicide my mum found me and i was only just concious, i told her to write on here and say sorry to all of you wonderful people. the things i did to try make this work was, poison, overdose and cutting my wrists and it would of worked if mym mother didnt come in my room. i left her and my family a letter explaining further details of this website and told her it was important. […]
I feel my worst when I am alone. The think is is that I don’t want to be near people, I want to be alone. It’s bad for me to isolate myself , I learned that the hard way. I came so close to ending it this last week. I abused pills for the first time and it made the pain go away for awhile. I’ve had the week from hell but somehow I keep going, somehow I act like I am okay.
Another reason to kill myself.. Oh how ‘happy’ that makes me. My family doesn’t accept me for who I am and neither do my friends.. No one is there for me. Like I care though. Okay yeah I admit it- I am emo. And most people think us emo’s are heartless souls. Well that’s not true. Always sitting in a dark, cold corner crying.. Does anyone know what it’s like? It’s painful. Maybe some of you reading this will understand.. I always feel as if I am unimportant, unloved, and unwanted. Oh great I ju- Every ‘quiz’ I take says my life is fu(ked up.. […]
My name is faith and I haven’t told anybody about my real story I’m not sure if i know it very well myself, anyways it all began when I was the happiest little girl you would have ever met. My best friend was my dog Zena she was always there to listen and she was always by my side to protect me she actually saved my life a couple of times. And then she became sick where she needed to take pills for medicine and everything was fine until one day where I knew something didnt feel right the morning of a school day but I […]
Hello all, I’m new here. And I’m wondering if anyone else could decipher the above question for me. My (highly depressed) friend and I were talking about it a while ago, but considering we’re both kind of screwed up in the head, we never came to a conclusion. I just… don’t understand how someone can live for him or herself. I admire people who can do that but… I can’t comprehend it.
Maybe it’s cause I’ve lived most of my life trying to live up to people’s expectations (and failing) but… Aren’t we surrounded by attachments – family members, friends etc…? In a sense, don’t we […]
my bf was going to commit suicide. we’ve always talked about it, but this time he sounded serious. he made me promise not to tell. he said he was going to write him suicide note and leave as soon as he was alone, most likely the next day. he said goodbye, and thank you for being an amazing gf, and sorry about a hundred times. But i was scared so i told my friend who knows all this and happens to be his ex. ive convinced her before not to tell anyone, but this time she said fuck it im telling, and told her mom. […]
Sometimes… in life, people fall down… and they don’t really want to get up again. I fell down slowly, didn’t really feel it till I hit the ground, and when I try to raise up from the floor… I can’t find the will… to live anymore. So I let myself go, watch the world go by… nobody knows when I tell the lie… It’s nothing, I’m okay. But I’m going to wake up tomorrow… for everyone’s sake.
And to those people, who managed to get up again, you have no idea how much I applaud you. Thank you, from me personally, for being strong… even if […]
Please do not report me and get me taken into the mental hospital. I just spent 49 days and nights in the hospital over the summer and I had to self-catheterize on the psych ward in very unsanitary conditions. I contracted an infection immediately and had to struggle to get Cipro to treat the infection. This is my dilemma: I want to go to the hospital for the company of people, but it is risky for my physical health.
I am 20 years old. I am female. I am a law student. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am confused.
The first time I sat on my bedroom floor with a bowl of pills to swallow I was 13 years old. My Pop had recently succumbed to cancer, I’d lost a friend and I was just feeling awful. I swallowed two and then got scared. I swallowed two pills a day for four years. Every day. The first time was because I wanted to see my Pop. Every day after that for four years was just routine. What […]
Fuck!!! I’m still here. This past week has me feeling I really have no strength to stay alive. I have reasons too I know that. I just need a way to make them more important for me to stay here. I don’t know how I’m supposed to carry on. My fakingit lifestyle isn’t working but being real wont work either it will turn people away (so I’ve had experience). Fuck fuck fuck fuck. Someone set the pain free. Really. Please set me free.
I talk about this with a lot of people, but I take it so lightly and act like talking about it doesn’t hurt but it does. You probably want to know what I act like I take “lightly”. It’s about my biological Dad, he was abusive and would hurt my Mom and I. When I was two she divorced him but I still remember what he did to me. He would hit me and one time he actually held me over our balcony and almost dropped me. You may not believe me about this because a lot of people don’t but it’s true. I remember […]
Life to me is just unhappiness i dont like being here really… Nobody has done anything to make me feel this way i just dont see the point in a meaningless unhappy life full of anger and depression… Im 14 and most people just say to me that i will be fine its just school and its stressful but school isnt a problem at all. I have friends and family that care about me but i never seek help from them because i dont like contact with other people, i like being alone by myself so i lock myself away.
I constantly question myself about my […]
my name is jess and ive been fighting deppression for 3 years i have also been fighting self harm for 2 year and i have recently stopped (for now) and i have an anxiety disorder. so as you can see, im pretty messed up! but what i am going to tell you next you might think im really crazy i think. but for some reason i fantisize about death. i have always just wanted to die. i dont know why i guess cause my life is just so effed up. maybe because ive lived enough of my life to know that i dont want to […]
I hate when people ask me if I’m okay, or how I’m feeling. The answer is so loaded and I’ve never been a good liar. So, I nod and say, “Fine,” because it’s such a basic answer that it has no meaning, anymore.
I hate waking up every morning to rush to a job I hate. And people say, “Well, just quit,” as though I don’t have loans and hospital bills waiting for me and whispering taunts when I try to sleep at night.
They say, “It get better,” but does it? I’m almost 30 and I’ve been dealing with this outcast, abnormal bullshit since I was […]