People who talk to me always make me feel better , but I don’t. Know , I feel like Im nothing ,<\3 , I want to feel good , :/ I need a bestfriend maybe a guy bestfriend I don't have one :/ idk , im stupid anyways 🙁
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The razor blade in my pocket makes me feel safe. The people at school make me feel safe. A hig from my grandmother makes me feel safe. All of these things make me feel safe-why can’t I face them- why can’t I tell my teacher what my father did to me, why cant I tell the truth to my grandmother, why cant I face the blade and kick the habit…I got myself into a compromising situation yesterday. we where playing keep away with my friends shoe I had it and her boyfriend backed me into a corner. I felt trapped, I flashed back to that night and freaked out […]
I’m sure i’m not the only one here who puts on a fake smile, laughs, talks, and pretends to be a perfectly happy person. Everyone at school, besides my best friend, believes the act. I started cutting again 2 days ago. The wounds weren’t deep at all. If i hadn’t done as many as i did, they could pass for cat scratches. Since it’s winter, wearing long sleeves all the time isn’t suspicious. I prefer to anyways, though, because i have 4 years worth of scars on my arms (i didn’t used to have to worry because i had quit for almost a year so […]
I was having fun. I actually started to love life. The earth is fucked and twisted. Once I love life The world gets mad and makes my life miserable. I know I have people who care but what’s going to work? Them be happy that I stay or just let me go. if they really care they will let me die right? I dont know. Well i dont know what I’m doing writin this but I feel alone now maybe that’s why. I’m back to square one. I wanna die.
hello.
i’m 17, suicidal, and very confused.
I’ve wanted to die for a long time. for many reasons. but the things stopping me have always been the friends who i owe the little sanity i have now, and the hope that i might actually be able to enjoy life at some, more independent point.
Personally i dont understand what family is supposed to be. i don’t understand the love some people have for their families. is that strange? i just. i don’t feel it. my younger brother is the only one that i feel protective of.
however i love my friends with everything i have. they are amazing and nothing will […]
It’s 9:48 AM and all I remember from last night was me sitting in my room, crying, and contemplating death. I remember me sitting there on my bed looking at the pile of pills calling my name. I sometimes think that I think to much, but maybe I don’t, maybe I think about the bad stuff to much. I decided that I should start thinking about everything positive in my life. There are people out there dealing with way bigger problems than mine. Some people are dealing with cancer, somebody’s parents died, they’re brother or sister died, and some people are starving. My life is […]
I’m still breathing, the blood is still rushing through my veins, my hands are still moving. From the outside, everything seems to be okay. I seem like a normal high school girl, with a bubbly personality, always smiling, always happy. If only they would take the time to look beneath that mask I put on everyday. If only they would go that extra step to notice that the countless scars on my arm are not from my rabbits, but from my Swiss knife. If only they would realize that their words kick me over the edge every time.
I could probably spend ages going through each […]
Ive been a “klutz” my entire life. I guess you could say that i was born that way. Its just so annoying how i mess everything up. It seems as if i can never do anything right and when i think im doing something right, it ends up being wrong. For example, today i was marching in a parade with my band. It went seemingly well, to me at least. The problem was that i couldnt stay in my horizontal line the entire time because the person in front of me was too far behind her horizontal line. So if i had gotten in line […]
I’m going into this thinking that I’ll seem stupid or that people are going to shit on me. Trolls seem to exist everywhere and they’re probably on this site too. Also, I ostensibly have a great life, and if/once I can manage to get my act together, I’ll probably be a very happy and successful man. No history of sexual abuse, no awful violence, little to no economic hardship, etc. I went to a good college and, until recently, was in decent jobs that provided me with living wages. Under the surface, though, I feel like I’m losing my head and I’m not sure what […]
About a week ago I found out how fucked up my family is, my mums an actress so she goes on tours alot and my dad is a psychotherapist who has been trying to get his quilification for 11 years!
My dad is a lazy alchoholic but he dosent hit me, but he manipulates my emotions until i’m crying in your room for an hour or 4. My mum hates him because she has payed about 250,000 punds on his training so we’re broke. My brother ignores it by doing working and other activities. My dad is very….. destructive, of people and my stuff. He has […]
When you go through with it how are you going to write your note? I plan on using an essay format as opposed to the standard apologetic letter format. I want to be able to communicate the logical reasoning behind my actions. I will use the standard essay with a thesis and use discouraging anecdotes from my past to consolidate and prove an overall point.  I just want people who read it to be able to accept it.
Most of all, I do not want to across as pompous. Suicide is a conceded selfish act, and that is the last thing I want expressed from my act.
Thoughts?
How will […]
I finally wrote my suicide letter. It doesn’t say much. I don’t have that much to say, and even if I did no one would care. People don’t see me, people don’t know me. I don’t care anymore, I mostly feel sadness.
Just hoping for a miracle that would stop me from feeling like this.
does anyone know of a psychologist available through email or skype or something on the internet who can help me FOR FREE?
i don’t have money, i’m trapped in another country, i have absolutely no one
you do not understand
or do you?
i have no family
i can’t see my family
i have no close friends
i do not have anyone
and all therapy here is not covered by insurance and difficult to get and too expensive
i need help
i need help
i need help
i need help
i need help
i need help i still need help
nobody is going to help me, will they?
i’m surrounded by blank […]
Alone In This Cruel World That So Many People Call Home While My Thoughts Brutally Attack Themselves
by Miss.Mayhem
written by Miss.Mayhem
I’ve attempted to write my suicide note. Or notes I should say. I’m not even done with the one to my love. It’s like 4 pages long already and not even close to being finished. Do I know if I’m going to commit suicide? No. I just want everything ready for when and if it does happen. I see it being a 30 to 70%. 30% being I won’t attempted it. The other 70% is I will. Probably not now but latter.
Tomorrow and Thanksgiving and I’m not sure what to be thankful for. My family resents me. My friends will eventually turn their backs on me. What’s […]
Just want to say to all who is in hard time at the moment, STAY STRONG, you were born to make a diference in this world.
You are just so much better than those people or things that upset you, who ignoring you, who or what makes you scared… There are people who love you and who DO care for you, they may be near, or you’ll meet them later in your life (you sure will), and they need you. Think about them. Do not be selfish. You are wonderful, beautiful and this world needs you!
Believe in yourself! I DO!
Read some books, look for answers, talk to somebody, look in to yourself, try […]
I guess I didn’t notice I loved you until you held my hand. I didn’t know you loved me until my friend told me what you said. But you don’t know me. You know me….but you really don’t. You think I’m perfect because that’s how I display myself. I make sure I smile and laugh. I make sure not to show any emotion I would regret latter. You just think you love me. You don’t, truth me. Once you find out, you’ll change your mind…they all do.
But if you want to know the truth, fine:
Yes, I do have scars I hide.
No, I’m not the girl […]
All i can think about is suicide. In the daytime, at school, at home, in the shower, outside, and especially at when i go to bed. Does anyone else think of suicide that much? It’s strange, there’s really not much to think about it, but i can’t think about anything else. My 2 friends, the only people i’ve told, say i should talk to the school counseller. Should i go? I mean, maybe it’ll help, maybe it won’t. But i don’t like talking to people about my ‘problems’ and i don’t want it to get to my parents, i don’t want them to worry about […]
Dear people,
I want to excuse myself for my English. I’m from the Netherlands so it isn’t very good.
The reason why I wanted to post something on the site is because I wanted to share something with you guys. I know that life can be difficult and harsh, and that you can feel very lonely in the sad world we all helped to create. But I learned something that changed my life. Your life is the most beautifull thing in the world, even if you can not feel it right now. It is like we all have a curtain before our eyes that blinds us to see […]
So I guess you had to leave, You were born with wings, But you were never happy, ‘Til the angels sing….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
Okay, So urm… I’ve decided that the only place, really that I should complain about my life is on here. I just don’t wanna hurt the people around me anymore….
On Saturday- A new friend showed me the song Hollywood Undead- Coming back down. I had it in my head for ages, Just over-analyzing it. I had this horrible feeling (partly to do with “voices”?) that we’re all going to die…. I literally went crazy over this.
Monday Night- Nick’s cousin is in a car crash, And unfortunately Dies. R.I.P
Today- I have came to a sort of conclusion that people are going to keep dying until i’m […]
My boyfriend told me to kill myself. I cant leave him. I don’t know what to do.
Should I just do it.