People always say things would be better in the morning. They aren’t. I wake up and feel the same way and have the same problems. I wish i was dead. I wanted to die last night, and realized that I threw my pills down the toilet a few months ago. I stopped the meds the doctors gave me, so, I had nothing to take. They were anti depressants. I can’t even cut myself, because, I can’t stand the smell of blood. There isn’t a tall enough building around to jump off, and getting transport now is a *****. I can’t get into any of the […]
Tag:
People
Earlier today in the town right next to where I live, a kid committed suicide. He was only 17. I went on facebook today and a “Friend” of mine was acting entirely childish about the entire thing and posting comments about how “if he was gonna off himself he should have done it with a gun or hanging himself at least”. How dare someone. How can someone even begin to make a comment like that on such a serious and awful topic? I didn’t know the person, but I can only imagine how much pain he must have been feeling to resort to that. He […]
I all the time feel lost.
Day by day I feel like it’s work to try to be friends with people. I feel like everyone around me is hypocritical and fake. I talk to my mom all the time about how one day my friend can be gossiping about someone non-stop and the next they’re going on a trip with that person and acting like they’re best friends.. I believe in forgiveness and I believe that if someone does wrong to you over time you need to forgive. I also believe in being true to yourself and making it clear to people who you are […]
Not really sure how to start this post or how to talk about this, i guess the comfort is in that nobody knows me.  I’m at a dead end , im only the good person i think i am.  I have so much hate in me im almost misanthropic , but i love company , but at the same time i hate it.  My life has been ok , ive traveled places i have people in my life, my sister and mother and some friends.  But i have come to the stage where i just don’t want to deal with living anymore,  i have suffered from being empty for a long time , the doctors […]
I just slept for a long time, but all I can say is that right now I feel exhausted.
I’m tired of everything in my life at the moment.
I’m tired of the endless monotony of school and exams. I have a countdown to summer in my Planner, but knowing I still have 95 days does not do a lot to comfort me.
I’m tired of people, and the person I’m expected to be.
I’m tired of myself, and the person I’m too afraid to be.
I’m tired of the fact that everywhere I’m just not good enough anymore.
I can’t do anything properly and just fuck it all up when […]
What is there left to live for? (This was my “My Story” section from my Tumblr)
by Vylet
written by Vylet
A lot of people want to know “my story†and why I self harm and why I starve and things like that. But I don’t have a specific thing that made me who I am. My life had always been shit. So I guess I should just give the over look of it all.
When I was very young, I was home schooled, and an only child. I was completely spoiled. My dad worked and my mom would take me to do tap, ballet, caly pottery, charcoals, gymnastics, karate, and anything else my little heart desired. By the age of 5, I had just about […]
People tell me it’s al my fault.
Everything.
That depression can easily be controlled and easily healed.
They don’t know the half of it.
People leave the mentally sick and tell us to become independent, but the physically sick get a hug and they’re told that everything will be all right.
Why isn’t someone on my side?
I go to doctors appointment, talk to therapists, meet with advisors, get my medications and pay for it all. All by myself.
And I’m not even 19 years old yet.
Why isn’t there someone telling me that I’m doing something right?
I don’t do everything wrong, do I?
I’m still human.
Just like them. I’m not any different. Just […]
I don’t know how to explain my self. WHO AM I.
Im seeing a new therapist today and im extremely anxious.
I don’t even know what to say to her.
AM I SIMPLE OR AM I COMPLICATED
I don’t know where to start.
I don’t want to have miscommunication and misunderstanding
I am scared of myself.
I am scared of finding myself. Who I truly am.
I don’t know how to introduce myself like how do I define myself if I can’t think clearly, if I don’t have much going for me, if I don’t have real friends if I do not have many strengths, or interests. I bad at just about everything, […]
You read the stories of people suffering and slowly dying. You hear the words of being told a person is dead over and over again in your dreams. You see everyone you know around you dying suddenly without signs. You cry every night when you remember them living. You beg God to somehow bring them back to you and alive again. You feel the presence of your lost friends at your side all the time. You replay the scenes of their death over and over again. You spend hours memorizing facts about the people you lost. You reread your last message or recall your last […]
What happened to us? What happened to the world? Why is this site filled with  so many of us technically healthy people trying to destroy ourselves?
But do we blame the world? Or do we blame ourselves? Am I depressed thanks to unbalanced serotonin? Am I suicidal because depression’s genetic and mine is confusing? Do we blame science? Do we blame society? Do we blame each other? Is it the fault 0f previous generations? Did our parents feel this way? Is it normal for a teenager to feel tired of living?
So many questions surround this topic, and it seems to me that the core question of […]
If you die, just know you could be worst off especially if you don’t believe in anything.
by tigerlily93
written by tigerlily93
There is nothing wrong with being suicidal, but acting on it is.
It is okay to want to die!!
But just know, you prob, feel that way because ou felt unloved or hated by the world, but we have each other.
And, you know what screw the world.
If you think about it some people in the world who arenot suicidal are more messed up than us.
It’s ok
We just have to know our lives aren’t just for us, we love for Jesus and truth and love and all things good, but if you don’t believe that you can die!
And you may not […]
I cannot stand a new day beginning. I hate the daylight because i live in the darkness. Today begins a new day to struggle through..i dont have alot of fight left in me. The older i get the more tired i am. I use to dream even in the darkest of times…i use to dream of just living a normal life…a decent home..an education..friends..family..job..a littlte money in the bank..i do not dare to dream of that anymore…i use to be a good mom..but ive hurt my boys..and i cant even speak of that…nothing hurts more than the pain of your children. My heart overflows with […]
Depression is every where all around me ever since i moved away from my family seven years ago ive never been the same.
last year on the 28th of september something happened that changed me forever.. i flew down for my birthday that week to visit my dad and his new girlfriend. But you see me and his girlfriend got off to a terrible start due to the fact she’d never met me and was telling me i needed to go on medication when she didnt even know anything about me or my life.. Dad explained to me that she herself suffered from depression on was […]
Its a long list dedicated to the people who ruined  any chance of happiness for me..
To the  guy who raped me at a party where i drank to much then denied it, then continued to harass me and put me in situations where im just as vulnerable.
To the guy who i dated for 2 years, told everything to, then who told everyone.
To the girl who fed my addiction, taught me about cutting, bought me a razor, and ever since the first time i’ve did it, i’ve done it every single night since.
To the ex best friend who left me in my most desperate state.
To my […]
I feel so completely alone. I don’t see the point in living.
Almost all of my family is fucked up, they love me but they’re mostly alcoholics and/or deluded. I know my dad will miss me, I hate to do this to him. My mom will too, and I care about her but not enough. Neither of them are enough. I’m sorry.
My boyfriend and I are “taking a break”. But I know what the end result will be. He’ll probably find someone else better than me. I don’t think he cares about me anymore. We used to be so in love… I love him so much. […]
I am a fifteen year old girl who hates her apperance who would Love to just finally kill herself and get life over with. I am good at hiding my emotions and i am just so so so tired of going on.
i know people lifes are horribly bad but mine is no walk in the park either. My mom sees what she wants my two older sister care but do they care enough? my dad didnt even want me he wanted my second oldest sister. I have been trying to kill myself since 5th grade. this year i was baker acted twice and i […]
I hate being pitied. Just those sympathetic looks people give me. Or when they pass by me in the hall and ask “How are you feeling?” & “Are you okay??” I’m feeling terrible & no, I’m not okay. Not that you’d know either way. I can fake a smile just as easy as I can fake my life. Don’t try & act like you understand me, no one does. I’ve made it this far already withOUT you, realize that. I don’t need your pity-_-
^What I wish I could say.
You left me, James. Not even a text or a message to say you were ending it. I know I wasn’t the best friend I could have been… should have been… But I wish you’d at least tried. I would have tried to help, even though I was so far away. Maybe I could have talked you out of it for a little while… maybe it would have been long enough for you to realize that maybe suicide wasn’t the thing for you. You could have had so much.
I feel so selfish, sitting here and thinking as I write this, that maybe all the […]
“And I swear at that moment, we were infinite”
Is my favorite quote from my favorite book Perks of being a wallflower.
I must have read that book a thousand times, it always use to help me when I felt down, and I had a lot of favorite quotes from the book, that’s my absolute favorite, because I think we’ve all felt infinite at one point or another.
One time I felt like that, is on Halloween when I was really little and I was trick or treating, and I saw the moon and it was big and full and I couldn’t stop staring at it because I thought it […]
I feel so screwed up, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve had a cutting problem for years now, I can’t get a hold of it. I recently started dating someone and I still can’t stop. It just upsets him, I get patronized for it. Whenever I’m in a situation where I have no one to talk to and I have overwhelming emotions, it’s always what I turn to. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel like I can’t take it anymore. I feel like a burden talking about my feelings, they must sound so trivial and whiny. If I keep it […]