He is the only thing keeping me going these days. He tells me I’m special and how much he cares for me, what I’m worth, he puts a real smile on my face (the only person who can)… Without out him I wouldn’t be writing this I wouldn’t be here right now. If it wasn’t for his daily words of encouragement I would have taken my life or my mother would have locked me in the insane asylum a long time ago… But thanks to the one person who took the time to understand the time to pay attention and listen. Thanks to him I […]
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Im just confused with the emotions i feel. Feeling a mix of sadness, guilt and anger. For once in my life i am utterly clueless as to which path i should take. I can’t stop thinking of her and the people around me aren’t helping. I hate it. When people i know pretend to have been so close to a person who died just so they feel better and can get sympathy from others. Well the truth is that you never really gave a damn about her life. I can’t go back to the place i was last with her. I tried it once and […]
These past few days I’ve been so different. I’ve been getting really irritated. I can just snap easily. Whenever I’m like this I feel like I have no control and that the person I used to be is long gone. It feels like the voices took over and I’m long gone. It’s so hard to explain. I’m a totally different person.
The other night, as I laid in bed, I started saying some prayers and I started talking to mom and while I spoke I felt evil. I felt like I was gone. Like the girl that I used to be didn’t exist anymore. I don’t know […]
I feel as though my life is not worth living. 17 relationships with both guys and girls have all screwed me over just for what they want from me. I’m not a person to anyone. I already attempted suicide once. Now my parents are watching me closer than ever to keep me in their hell. No one respects me. Every one at school hates me for no fucking reason and I’m going to die alone in this world because no one has ever loved me. I am only existing on this earth because of a broken condom. I need to die.
I’ve been depressed for a really long time, and I’ve been feeling alone my whole life really. People keep leaving me and now the one person who’s made me feel happy is gonna leave me too. we met in a mental hospital a year ago and we’ve gotten really close. She had really bad eating disorder and i actually got her to start eating again. And I’ve helped to not cut and eventually she did stop,=-)… she keeps asking me why i’m so nice to her and i keep telling her that she’s my best friend and that i care about her when really i have […]
If your journey has brought you to a place where you believe in “nothing” then just live in the reality of, what is for you, Truth. You are young and have a long way to journey yet. Just be the best person you can be and try not to impose your non-belief on others. Don’t mock, don’t judge. Because if Atheism is what you’ profess to believe in, then that is your religion…..it’s a belief system that professes a non-belief, but it’s a belief system none the less.
My own personal opinion about the labels of belief and unbelief is that they inflict a sort of […]
So me and my momma aren’t talking. Well I’m not talking to her. My depression really affects her the worse. She’s seen me at my worst and in rehab. I’ve fought her. We argue like crazy and I’m not very respectful. I mostly take all my anger out on her because of some childhood shxt that I won’t get into. Point is we aren’t talking because she said I don’t respect her. Which is 100% true.
I’m gonna break this down. Imma horrible fckn person. I cut myself. I’ve tried to kill myself. I don’t bellieve in myself. I don’t love myself. So how […]
I’m keeping all these feelings locked up inside of me, and they are beginning to eat at my soul, inside I feel like my heart has turned into a black hole sucking every ounce of happiness I can manage to obtain. The smile I wear each day is as fake as each person that says they care for me. I’m looking to obtain eternal happiness, and the only way it seems like I’m going to get it is in death. Because in life you can’t depend on anyone else but yourself, but what happens when even you give up on yourself.?
You know that old saying “don’t surround yourself with shitty people”
I feel bad for being in someone else’s company. I feel sorry for them as they have to put up with my presence. I don’t say much, but then try to make up for it and say too much. I go on about shit and cringe in my mind, asking myself “why the fuck did you just say that just shut the fuck up”
But then I hate being left alone with my own mind. Shits pretty scary and fucked up in there.
The truth is, I don’t want to surround people with myself, because I’m a really shitty […]
have you ever hated someone so much that you wanted nothing more than to watch them die a slow and horrible death…
have you ever felt like there was no reason to let that person continue to live…
have you ever thought that maybe that person deserves to die…
have you ever hated yourself?
I hadn’t properly drank for over three months. It’s not like an achievement, the chance just hadn’t come up recently. I guess it has pros and cons. It’s good that I don’t go out on the lash every night, but then when I do drink I have to make up for the lost time. It’s a bad way of handling it, I mean I could just not drink at all.
But, the thing about drinking is it’s similar to that at feeling I long for to not feel anything at all. You can just lose it all, not have to care about stuff, it’s addicting.
It was just me […]
Don’t really know where to start. Maybe where I got so drunk the other night, possibly the drunkest I’ve ever been, nearly attempted, and also fell on the sidewalk cutting up my entire body and face, which had people asking questions. Or maybe with someone who doesn’t bite their nails much, I have none left to bite. Or maybe how I sleep the absolute minimum now, maybe two or three hours a night, if at all. My sleeping patterns have been especially messed up, even on taking extra strength Advil PM doesn’t knock me out. I thought all my stress from school was the root […]
“We’re just suicidal kids telling other suicidal kids that suicide isn’t the answer”
Honestly, I try to be so supportive to everyone. I try to be someone helpful. I try to understand the misunderstood. I try to be a really good friend. I try to be everything except myself. Every time I forget to put my needs before everyone else’s. I forget to be myself because I’m so busy filling in all the other roles.
I try to support every belief. In a way, if you are a Muslim and you are a great friend I won’t care what your […]
63 and still the thoughts come back. Defective. Quit trying to fight it. I look back and see things I’ve done that I didn’t do right. Spent 6 yrs feeling like I could believe the “you are OK; you are a great mom/wife/friend” Only to come back full circle to this. Fucked up person. No one can I share this with because they either try to tell me I’m wrong or I risk having them really see what a loser I am.
Is it inevitable and why do some fail and never think of ending it? I want to run somewhere because I need to think; […]
I already posted this before, but I think I need more support.
A person using the name Earthly Constraints on this website says it is inevitable that she is going to commit suicide. Her post is here: http://suicideproject.org/2015/05/the-inevitable/
Please write something, anything, to show that we are concerned for her. Earthly Constraints, I wrote this to some other people, but here: Love this […]
We all have that one person don’t we. They keep us going, most of them don’t even realise it but shit they help us. Mine is fantastic. They make me feel important and valuable, possibly maybe after time, they could make me happy (happy is a big word for me so I don’t tend to use it when reflecting on myself). This person never has to try to lift me up because knowing their existence is in my presence gives me life. The way they talk with such intellect, their mind, fuck their mind is so beautiful. Logically, I love this human.
But unfortunately it’s contradicts it’s self.
I’m on […]
I don’t know why I’m here. I don’t know what do I need to do. Am I sent here to be a laughing stock? Am I sent here just so people will pity me? I do not fucking want pity. I do not fucking care if they laugh at me or if you laugh at me for being so fucking pathetic. I am a disabled person, yeah so don’t fucking complain if your life is messed up, because mine is more complicated. You complain about those bullies? Then tell them to fuck off, stand up for yourself. You complain about money and shit? Don’t fucking […]
We are all on here for a reason. But since you’re reading this, you haven’t done the deed yet. So what keeps you going? If you have something that gives you hope, whether it be a person, a special moment in your life, a dream, whatever, tell us about it. And if you don’t have something that gives you hope, just read others’ comments. Maybe someone else’s can become your’s too. As for me, this is a little something that has kept me going: https://youtu.be/8tN60yFjO-g
I wrote a story based on the opinions of someone I know, not all opinions expressed are ones I identify with.
“Borderline isn’t abnormal in itself, it’s the manifestation of the human condition under deleterious circumstances. Everyone has abandonment issues, everyone reacts angrily – not always externally angry and sometimes not even consciously angry – to rejection and it isn’t abnormal in itself. Borderline is the aggregation of multiple mental illnesses all into one, I don’t even understand why – they don’t even have a tangible treatment for it so what’s the point in the diagnoses?
“Borderline is a myriad of symptoms of various real mental illnesses, […]
Things have fucked up again. Looks like I’m going to be lonely for a while. I guess I always was anyway. Can’t be a part of this cold world, feeling lost, running from one cold person to another. It’s time for a change of environment and attitude.
I’m going to create my own universe, surround myself with good people and take shit from nobody.