I am on a medicine that has major side effects. It helps me sleep and I am grateful for that. Sometimes I think the doc and therapist are helping at the same time I think they are in cahoots together. I have to remember I’m not a bad person just a sick person trying to get well. Any thoughts about this concept?
Seriously, no one respects me enough to even acknowledge me!! In school, I’m constantly ignored by people, students and teachers alike! Even my so-called friends ignore me!!! EVERYONE ACTS LIKE I DON’T EXIST AND I UTTERLY HATE THEM ALL!!!!! Girls ignore me too, they treat me like shit, while every other piece of crap at my school gets girls. I’m the only person that actually even attempts to be kind to anyone EVER and in da, they insult their own friends have the time! I’m treated like a nothing and a nobody, I hate my stupid white school and the stupid people in it, I […]
All I ever wanted to be was loved by own parents but I guess I don’t get that, otherwise I wouldn’t be wishing to be dead. Life’s shit when you think about it why are we even on a planet just to reproduce the population. It’s utter stupidity I can’t stand this pain anymore I just want it to go away and never come back, what did I do to deserve this am I really that bad of a person to deserve this. Please anyone help me
its probably really fucking nasty of me, but i cant handle it, fuck it, my friend, one of my best actually, refuses to get help, and i understand that its scary but he cant use me as that person i cant help him anymore, its making me more suicidal than i would be if he just got help. he needs it but instead lays all that weight, that pressure on me when i know i cant help him like he needs.
i cant help him when or how he needs it and it makes me feel worse, i just want to end it so i dont […]
I have pushed away everyone in my life over the last few years; family, friends, significant others…everyone. Why? They don’t understand how I feel inside, how I suffer on a daily basis. They are finding joy in life, so I cast them out and tucked myself away…probably for the best.
Is there such a thing as being to alone? Is there such a thing as a loner finding another loner to be alone with? Does this ever happen? I realize I cannot have a “normal” life with lot’s of family and friends around, but to have just one person, a companion, would make life “normal” for […]
I’ve heard somewhere that people with some form of disability usually end up having dysfunctional relationship. Not because their physical disability, though it’s a factor too, but because of their world view. they usually misconstrued “hanging out”as real romantic affection. this usually happens when there is a deep seeded inacceptance (if that’s a word) of themselves. And when someone lends a helping hand or acts sympathetic, they feel as though they have finally found a person that is better than them(only in the sense that the person is accepting), and so, worthy of their love.
what I’ve found about myself is that, because I am…highly […]
why is death the only answer? what happen if i succeed only to find that it hurts on the other side? where does this anguish come from and why cant i beat it? why cant i be a normal person? why do so many of us suffer from this? why cant life be simple and easy? why do people prevent me from having work, a place to live and food to eat? why cant i abide by the rules? so many questions, too few answers
has come and gone and I still can’t believe any of it. Exactly a year ago I was in a very shitty relationship that was falling apart and taking me down with it. I can’t believe that it finally ended especially the way everything has gone down. I also can’t believe that in two months I will have had a close friendship with someone for an entire year. That person whether they meant to help me or not did more than I could have ever imagined. I am so grateful for that, for them and everything that they have done. I am sad because these […]
I am so full of hate…despair…anger…hopelessness…desperation…that I feel as though I would explode. and I usually do…and like a black hole’s singularity, I collapse up on my emotions. there I’m lost in the silence that follows the chaos I’m surrounded with,
I’ve longed for death since I was a boy of 10. I don’t know how or why it started, but the darkness in me out grew me. the depression engulfed me. the sadness drowned me.
and in my few sane episodes, I boil with the anger that pushes me to madness. in those moments of my own version of sanity, I look to the […]
I’ve felt empty since my teenage years. And now I’m 24. I never felt disapointed in me, even though I’ve never been happy with myself. More like always on other people. I never have spoken out loud about these things. Vice versa I pretend to be happiest person on this earth. Always cheering people to chase their dreams, whatnot. I never felt that there would be someone that would fully understand me enough. I get always the attention I don’t enjoy to get but don’t show it. Every single night I cry myself to sleep and wake up with a such a heartache. I feel […]
I’m a very musical person. I listen to alot of music. Its what keeps me going. I also play nine instruments, guitar being my main.
So I listen to alot of music and I have song lyrics that I love. I sometimes write them on my arms. People make funbof me for liking music. I don’t care to be honest. I just love what I love and live how I live. I wish I wasn’t living though
So in short. People make fun of me when I write song lyrics on my arm and it sometimes gets to me. Other times, I let it slide
I think about killing myself every day. The things I’ve done. The things people have done to me. My life. I have no home, I couch surf to random people, exs who’ve hurt me but I’m so lonely I don’t even care. Too selfish to remember what I’ve done to them. I’ve cheated. I’ve lied. I hate myself. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am in so much debt. I was hit by a drunk driver a few years ago and almost died. I wish today that I would have. Or maybe I am and am already in hell.
“The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill himself doesn’t do so out of ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom it’s invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill himself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just […]
I mean, how do they help. I already know what’s wrong and I can’t fix it. I’ve been twice. I cancelled yesterday’s appointment because I don’t see the point. I’m a private person, whining to this yahoo ain’t helping anything, just let’s another judge me. I’m very close to leaving, I’m having the same feeling you get on your last day on the job, the last day of school. I’m done. There will be another failure and that’ll be enough to push the first domino.
Why the fuck do I NEED therapy. It won’t fix anything.
Talking about the good moments of my childhood forces me to be both nostalgic and incredibly sad at the same time. I wish things were that simple because even though I didn’t have a particularly easy childhood, a child’s problems are so much less complex. Today I decided to text a friend that I haven’t spoken to in a while. We met through a therapy group and somehow we clicked, even though neither of us are the most vocal of people. But I feel like we understood the pain in each other’s eyes, in a way no one else could. We never told each other […]
to be honest… I wish I wasn’t sick anymore cause no one gets it. I wish I could have some one like the “sick” girls in my books the girls that are just like me they get rescued y cant I y cant I have some one like tate someone to love me like he loves violet… I have a boyfriend sure but its like he just doesn’t care he said it was “you and me together for always” but he doesn’t love me and I […]
I have noticed a relatively common theme among suicidal people is the belief that the people around them – and the world in general – would be “better off” without them. They often express remorse and inner turmoil for the pain they have caused others.
It’s strange – even during my own darkest moments, I never believed anyone would actually be “better off” without me. No better or worse? Absolutely (truthfully, that is where much of my pain derived from – the fact that it didn’t seem to matter whether or not I existed). But not better.
The way I see it, if you recognize the fact […]
people should really work on being more positive and encouraging, yeah people may not care about you and you may not have a strong support system but you owe it to yourself to care and love the person you are. yes easier said that done, but don’t be so negative about it. get into a mind set that you will change for the better and you are already half way there. change your attitude and things tend to follow. JUST A THOUGHT. xoxo
People have killed themselves over more and over less. If truth be told, this is not the first, second, or third attempt. It is not even the first attempt this month.
I just want to say that I’m overall pretty disappointed in mankind. We’re selfish, rude, vindictive, spiteful, and no matter how much “word of god” is preached, the more religious are usually the most corrupt.
I ended my life with trust in one person. He told me that if I killed myself, I would go to hell. I think he just told me that to scare me. I hope that he just told me that to […]
Every time I ask for help all she does is laugh. All I need is her advice, but instead she would laugh. She doesn’t look at my arms anymore because she thinks I’m normal but really I have razor cuts all over my arms. When I started to cut she always thought It was a break up, but It was always her. She made fun of me and my friends. Always blamed me for her and my stepdad fighting. I’ve been cutting myself for over a week because of her. I just need her to accept me and know that I am my own person. […]