Yet another terrorist attack has happened this time in Brussels. Its depressing. When ever a shooting or attack happens i can’t help but to think why does someone have to lose their loved ones and i have to stay. I get so depressed i can’t help but to want to die. If i trade my life for any person who matters who died in any act of senseless violence i would. It doesn’t feel right at all.
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person
I never thought I’d feel sick to my stomach with anger and dread, not wanting to go in to work. This has been the first full year that I’ve worked through a job, so I’ve never experienced anything like this before. And it’s the same thing I’ve heard my mom complain about why she absolutely loathes working. It’s because there’s always got to be some insufferable ***** there who makes everyone miserable!
So here’s what happened. The boss has been gone over a month now because she’s moving to another state. She’s supposed to be back at some point to tie up loose ends before she’s […]
I guess places like this are why people love anonymous Internet posting so much.
If we met in person, I doubt we’d be friends. I doubt I’d get the lovely support I have been the last few days.
I might be one of the people you felt excluded, or trodden down by.
My friends are the ones with the bright smiles and pretty hair. My family loves and supports me. I got my chance to get an education, and was successful at it. I was never abused. I’ve never been dragged through the gutter.
People say I’m funny, and sweet, maybe too sarcastic sometimes. They think I’m smart and […]
I feel that friendship is more fragile and more important compared to a relationship. I don’t know, but it’s like whenever my friends suddenly act cold, it hurts so fucking bad I just add a few more cuts just to be able to feel. Fucking hell it makes no sense.
Honestly, it really fucking terrifies my how much of a hold this person has over me. All she has to do is say a word, and I think I’ll just fucking crumble. She’s not even the person I’m in a relationship with. But I’d rather lose him than her. It’s really difficult and just tiring to […]
I’m not going to mention the username of the person this message is for, but they will know it’s for them and that’s what matters.
My dear friend
I scan the entries on SP expecting to see a final post from you or from someone posting that you’re gone. I no longer visit SP as often as I did because I’m scared of what I’ll see. I look to see what you’re saying in your responses to others to see how you are.
When you emailed to say you might be leaving soon, I responded that it was best I said nothing. If I say “ok, […]
I’ve tried to say more, I’ve WANTED to, but I don’t know what a plastic person can offer that isn’t plastic.
I have a job, a home, health, food, shelter, the necessities. My coworkers like me, my family cares about me, my friends mean the world to me. Somehow it makes me feel even worse about myself, more of an ingrate, more worthless, more hopeless.
why can’t life be simple ? why do we have to go though so much pain and suffering ? why must the good die young and the rest get left to rot ? why is the world such a horrible place ? How can we find our purpose in life if we don’t even no were to begin ? Why am I fighting to live if I’m just living to die
Life is hard as it is let alone going though everyday depressed anxious and suicidal how much more suffering can one person go though maybe it’s my destiny to die early
1.) Nothing in this life is truly earned no matter what anyone tries to tell you. We don’t live in a fairy tale and people don’t get anywhere in life because they work hard and believe in themselves because if that were the case there are millions existing in squander this very moment that should be living in castle on the beach by now. People get places because something outside of what they do whether its looks, money, personality etc gives them the advantage to do so.
2.) No one has control over anything in life. We don’t get to choose if we are born, who our parents are, What our […]
To be honest, I can’t stop crying and I don’t know why. Nothing particularly bad happened I’m just so unreasonably miserable.
Today, I’m so desperately wishing that the human body wasn’t built to survive, and that it wasn’t so difficult to die. I wish I knew how to use a gun, because if I did I’d shoot myself since I have access to a gun. I wish all the useless leftover antidepressants I had would kill me if I took them all. Maybe the lexapro would since I’m allergic.
I wish I knew one person who was kind to me, I wish I had friends. I wish […]
So, I just got back from a trip. Had a good time, plenty of laughs, discussed future goals, dreams and what not. Ate good food, spend time with her. Made new things, punched other things, they remade said punched things.
Good times right?
right…
I mean, that is what they should be right…
good… times…
…
And then as if of nowhere it just happens…
… you know what it is…
That happens…
And you keep telling yourself that you got this, that this is not going to get you…
That you are bigger than it.
But are you?
Are you really?
Can you stand in front of it, and say it?
And then it happens again.
Like always..
As if […]
so hard that you almost feel like you are in the past again. Like all the hard work you’ve done to be a better person to have a better life just to end up right back at the bottom. This depression is eating away at me and it is truly agonizing I’ve gone such a long time without feeling suicidal. But yet some how I find myself wishing that I could just disappear and be done with life. I’m destined to be alone and I’m mortified by that because I know it’s true. I am so fucked up mentally and emotionally and every other way […]
So, I’m an existential nihilist; The other day I was thinking about how as humans we constantly struggle to find a reason to live. A while back I read somewhere that the next step of human evolution is coming, and that one person in particular will thrust humanity forwards into that evolution. They said that the next step is transcending the human form by one of two ways: becoming one with technology (if you’ve seen the movie Transcendence it would be similar but on an obviously larger scale) or becoming one with the universe (aka spiritually). What if that is what happens after death, you transcend […]
Ever want to walk past one of your co workers and just slap them in the back of the head as you go by???? I do I do!!! I cant stand that little sweet voice, hiding an evil mean person, that people don’t see past, because she is little and cute. All I ever hear is her talking crap about everyone. And for some reason she now thinks she is my boss even though I have been there 3 years longer. Driving me nuts
I’m packing up my life. Tying up loose ends. Cleaning it out. It’s making me really sad actually. Almost like this person has died already and I’m packing up her life.
I know it’s my choice. I can stay if I really want to. I just don’t think it’s an option anymore. But this girl, she seems like she had potential. Seems like she left a big hole it the lives of so many people.
This is hard.
My ” friend ” a girl I have knowen my entier life is depressed and suicidal. She recently told me she always angry and anxious, she can’t sleep or eat.
She is a normal person but when she told me while she was crossing the street she wished a car turning would hit her so she can die. I wanted to blurt out welcome to the club, but instead I said “thats to Serious calm down all you did was go get coffe.”
Those words felt like Poissonin my mouth I’ve been in her shoes, I am in her shoes.
But I know she is just lost […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
This is my first post. And I’m terrified. Terrified that I have to resort to something like this. Terrified that I’m finding myself sinking back into a hole I thought I had successfully climbed out of years ago.
I’ve had depression of varying degrees on and off since the age of 11. I remember clearly the burning desire to end my own life at age 12; a struggle that took me years to overcome. Don’t ask me how; I don’t remember. Most of that time period in my life has become hazy.
But now, here I am. 17 years old, a loving boyfriend, a promising future. And […]
It will always be remiss of me to assume that my interactions with them will amount to anything significant and if they do, significance is an illusion; deceit, miscommunication, and utility will form the core of that relationship. In the event that I’m wrong, and the relationship exists on positive grounds, then it is wasted on someone like me and someone else is more suitable to be that other person’s friend/lover/parent/etc.
Remembering this information will be critical to achieving my ultimate goal and not repeating past events which have led to my suffering.
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I don’t know..
Are all my problems enough?
Is it enough to die?
Perhaps I’m just a young naive girl, in her depressed years, before she’s a woman. Think she’s the only person and her problems would change the world.
I don’t know.
There a so many people, with so many problems. I don’t know them all. Perhaps their life is much harder, than my life it is and they still alive.
What is a real reason, to kill yourself?
Are my problems enough to die?
I don’t know.