Night is basically my very own poison of the mind time. It is where all my demons like to hide and plan all the ways they are going to attack me. It is the time when my mind likes to remind me that I am worthless, pointless, useless, hopeless, and unwanted. It is also the time I make all my suicide plans.
Tag:
pointless
I feel I can’t take this anymore. I failed exams, relationship, health, social life and bla bla bla. I feel miserable. I don’t know what to do with my life. I’m hopeless,pointless. 🙁 These days I’m at my lowest point. Helpless. Maybe suicide is the only answer. Thanks for reading.
I do not know what i am doing with my life. I find life pointless and irrelevant. People are bitchy and I find no reason to live anymore.
Everything I’ve achieved up to this point seems useless. Today I got my school year’s grades and I’m simply useless. Everything I’m doing is pointless. I wish I didn’t care about anyone and could end everything, but I don’t want to put my mum through that. Sleep is escaping me.
-V
It’s not like with my personality I can change for the better. I know I won’t. It’s not about needing sympathy here or looking for common grounds with people. It’s just to basically type it out because I rather random faceless strangers from the internet to know than the people I’m “close” to.
It all started last week that I mentioned in an older post. I lost my car due to bogus reasons, and then the next day I got drug tested from my job, in which I have been currently using narcotics. They sent the sample off to the lab due to a line not […]
No need for ending. There is none. Think wide. Don’t think. And suffer. Concentrate on tiny things, and then on big things, and then again, again, again, (don’t read this…pointless writing sorry)
I am so mad at myself that I feel this way! Why should I suffer when most people have it so much worse. I have a family that loves me, a boyfriend that is awesome, and friends that have my back. It’s just that lately my grades have dropped and I worry that I’m not fitting in. I cut like crazy, and I spend most of my time looking at percabeth fanfictions. I think that I might be going insane! My brothers are so much older than me, and they are amazing at everything. I think that it might be too late for me to […]
Waiting for the outcome of a criminal investigation. Could take months. A few weeks ago I was on top of the world. Now the good things are all in the past. Lost my job. Worst of all, whatever happens I’m putting my family through hell. Not sure I can live with that. They don’t deserve this pain. Better off without me I think. Nights are best. I want to stop the world at 1 a.m. Hate it when dawn comes up. Another pointless day to struggle through. Everyone else is doing stuff, contributing to the world. As I was, up to a few weeks […]
I just..I don’t quite know. I just need to write down my thoughts..Pointless thoughts, that will most likely be over-looked as my life mostly is.
I should probably start from the beginning. When it all began. When I first sank into depression.
5 Years ago, I used to have a friend named Jessica. We hung out all the time.. She was my best friend, we grew up together. One day she sends me this text..and I knew something was wrong. This damn text is engraved into my mind. “I’m sorry, for everything, Thank you so much for being my friend. I’ll see you soon…but not too soon. […]
There are over seven billion people living on Earth, and I am just one person. I did some math and realized that one person makes up less than 0.0000000143 (one hundred forty-three ten billionths) of a percent of the entire population. One percent of 7 billion is 70 million. That’s 70 million people with names, feelings, personalities, beliefs, moms, dads, and problems. If they all just died, then the world would’ve only just lost one percent of its entire population. I don’t know more than a handful of people. Really just looking at the numbers you can see that a life isn’t worth much. What’s […]
I think I should start by noting that I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, Major Depression (and psychotic depression) as well as multiple forms of anxiety that include social and general. Yea, my mind is a terrible place. I’ve been to a lot of therapists and taken almost every prescription drug for my disorders and nothing helps and I’m too tired to fight it anymore. I’ve even been experiencing episodes of psychotic depression which is honestly terrifying because I know it’ll get progressively worse. I’ve been hospitalized inpatient 3 times and 1 outpatient stay. As I’ve gotten older my disorders worsen. I attempted suicide for […]
What’s the point of life? All you do is struggle and live, and eventually die. Why do we study hard? What’s the point of living if you don’t want to? I feel like life is a cruel joke thrust upon us even when we don’t want to live. Everyone suffers, for no reason at all. It is completely pointless. Life sucks and it always has. There is no point at all to it.
I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t need to do this anymore. So why don’t I just leave, everyone hates me. I’m worthless and pointless so why don’t I just end my life while I still ge the chance
I want to fall asleep & never wake up. Life feels pointless. It has my whole adult life. You struggle mentally, physically, emotionally, financially…and for what? You work your whole life, just to one day die so why not speed up the bullshit process. I am sick and tired of going through the motions. I don’t want to be doped up on anti-depressants. I don’t want to self soothe through sexual pleasure, with alcohol or drugs. I’ve called the suicide hotline, & the douchebag guy pretty much told me to suck it up. Don’t waste your time. Praying doesn’t do shit. After 26 years here, […]
It’s getting to the point where I’m just tired of existing again. Like many times before, though I have never shared these times; I don’t know why I suddenly feel like posting this now. I’m tired of doing all this pointless work, I’m tired of pretending to my family that I care at all about getting some kind of “job” (which I never have and likely never will care about), I’m tired of spending all my savings to live comfortably and go to school when I never had any intention of living that long in the first place and there are people who actually want […]
When I was a kid, everything was fine. Life seemed to special and worth it but as I grew up, all of that faded. As things started going a different way then what I had planned, I began to see the reality of this world. I am nothing more than trillions and trillions of cells smashed together with emotions attached. As much as I’ve cried my eyes out wishing there was a “god” or ANYONE for that matter that would save me. things have only gotten worse. I wish I was ignorant like 90% of the world that thinks our existence is worth anything. You […]
I told my bestfriends i think of suicide everynight. Of course i didnt just randomly bring up the suject. They demand to know whats wrong. Then when i tell them they say oh you already told me that. Okay so did you want to know for your health? they didnt even give a fuck. Confiding in other people is pointless
I feel so powerless in life, the only power I have is the power to end my life.
by nias
written by nias
Pointless, the whole life thing is totally pointless, most people can create happiness through love etc. but for others like me there is no point in living and the happier people around me are the more miserable I am, so fuck life. I’m going to drown my self at some point, I’m drowning in misery so what’s the problem with drowning in water instead.
It seems like all of my life has been predetermined, as if my thoughts and actions are actually beyond my control. It’s like existing without really existing. It sucks because no matter what I do, I feel that I am not doing it. I sometimes feel like life is just a movie with sentience included. That’s depressing, because all of the pain that I feel is much like an illusion. Perhaps I’m not feeling pain, but I am experiencing a set of physiochemical processes taking place that make me think that I am feeling something, when ultimately, I am no more alive than a rock. […]