my mom and i made up i guess. she started bitching at me after i helped her with video taping something and she told me that she is relieved im leaving. idk it hurt that she thinks that im such a bad person and im really trying… today i started talking about stuff with my friends mom that i used to be really close to. its the first time seeing her in ages. it felt good to talk to someone but i think somehow she knew i was lying about being better and she looked worried when i told her i took myself off my […]
Oh lonely flower, where do your seeds go?
Oh lonely flower, may you forever grow.
Oh lonely star, how bright is your light?
Oh lonely star, blending in with the night.
Oh lonely boy, where have you hidden your scars?
Oh lonely boy, keep faith in your heart.
Oh lonely moon, why do they sleep when you rise?
Oh lonely moon, if only they saw the tears in your eyes.
Oh lonely world, where are the friends?
Oh lonely world, I must make this end.
i want to die soooo bad, i think about it all the time now. i’ve been thinking about shooting myself in the head, i’ll put the gun in my mouth to make sure i dont survive. yep, thats how i want to die, i have officially chosen my exit plan. im not sure on when im going to do it, but its probably going to be soon. hopefully before anyone suspects me of being suicidal again. right now, everyone thinks im fine, that im doing great, but on the inside, im despising every single minute of living. i have gotten used to being suicidal for […]
It’s funny how sometimes the most random thing could make you happy.we were conducting a field exercise when during the middle of our break the sun started to show up. my buddies started singing “here come the sun” by the beatles and it was one of the most calming and serene moment i’ve ever experienced, especially since for the last two days it was raining the whole time. we all basked in the warmth and knew that everything was going to be all right.
I’m stuck. I feel like I can’t get better and this inability to move past my trauma is limiting my ability to live my life the way I want too. I try. I can go months without hurting myself and then something that is seemingly random breaks my illusion of healthiness and I fall backwards on my ass to the depths of despair. I can’t seem to forgive myself for shit that has gone wrong…and the more I try to examine my issues I feel the higher the chance of relapse. I don’t have a support system […]
i remember the first time i did it
i was at my limit
years of torment, anguish, shame
you put me into a corner with no other way out
i felt suffocated
i wanted free…i wanted to float away somewhere nice
music so loud
it hid my cries
my hands were so shaky
i knew very well what i was doing
i never knew how addictive it would be
i do not regret it
for what is done is done
it felt good
i felt as if the pain went away with every cut
left wrist….right wrist… shoulder blades…thighs…legs
years accumulated of feeling just so goddamn depressed let go
i was a mess
my whole face covered in tears
snot dripping down
i understood it.
how […]
So this is my first time even talking about this. I thought opinions from people i dont know might help.
I have been stuggleing with what has been described as a manic depressive disorder. I dont know of its any different from anybody elses, but the easiest way to describe it is that i can be brought down by things simple as a 3 second memory. Ill randomly become depressed for different severeties and random amounts of time. It can be mintues to months.
Latley though just cant get through it […]
I’m not sure how this works but I feel like venting. I’m 25 years old. People say I’m pretty but most of the time I can’t stand who I see in the mirror. I’ve been reading posts on this website over the last few days and I was surprised to see my thoughts and feelings expressed so accurately by random people all over. You know when people say oh everyone’s felt like  that, like that’s suppose to help but this actually is kind of comforting. Anyway back to venting. I had a car accident this mornin and physically I’m fine but in every other way I’m […]
i cant do it
i cant love you
i cant…
i cant….
you always said i CAN.
i COULD.
but i couldent.
i never could.
you were dragged to prison.
two years later jail.
because of her.
she LIED!
how could you have loved her?!
i visit you all the time
i have nothing to say.
if i said whats really “up”,
it would be this:
hey uncle tom! yeah i have been cutting myself, making nooses, trying to drown and suffocate myself, posting things on a website called fucking suicide project, and whining about my depression! hows your time going?
but i cant.
it has been SEVEN YEARS!!!!
I miss you, is all i can say.
Okay, i’m 13 years old. I have to repeat the 7th grade. I would’ve passed it, but i left my school 3 weeks early. That school stressed me out, to the point where i just couldn’t do it. i never wanted to go back there again. i only had about 2-3 friends at the end of the year. i like, pushed everyone away. i don’t even know how. right now, it’s about a month and a half into summer. i moved across town, so i’m going to be starting a new school. i lost connection with all my friends from my previous school, but like […]
Be yourself they say . No one will judge you they say . Bullying & suicide only exists in movies , it’s not real they say . Well they were wrong . Things that all of us as kids never thought were impossible to do are now becoming possible . Suicide. Rape . Bullying. Emotional. Physical . Relationships. Abuse. These are all things we have to face and deal with on a daily bases . Things that I have to deal with on a daily bases .
My name will remain unknown as well as all my personal information , but at least once a […]
truthbetold is a jaded individual
urban dictionary says:
a) the end result of having a steady flow of negative experiences,disappointment, and unfulfillment fed into a person
where they get to the point where their anger circuits just sort of burn out and they accept disillusionment.
b) emotionally numb. having been through so much pain that you simply give up and decide unconciously not to feel anymore. mental suicide.
I also have dormant hatred for humanity, which is awaken when people do or say things that remind me how compassionate us humans can be ..
my friend depression tends to find its way inside my mind during the fall and usually leaves […]
just a random impulse to kill myself tonite, i need to be free fromthis sick joke called ”life”. i probably wont be successfull tho… im a very confused 18 y old girl. life hasnt given me reason to haveany interest in it.i love being alone. wish icould describe how i genuinely feel. i havebeen stronger than anyone could be if theyve been wat ive been through…idont even know watim thnking let alone saying..ive been hurting for farrrr tooo long,, i dont wish this pain on anyone.
first off let me just say how happy i feel finding this website
(albeit a little random, just googled cold and alone)
Like im sure everyone else on this website my life story is a bit too long to include on my first post,
so i’ll try and keep it to the point.
I had a somewhat happy childhood. I did have sexual contact (mostly with other boys around my age at the time)
when i was still very young. Then the infamous 8th grade came along and everything changed.
I had to dress a certain way, talk a certain way, be cool etc in order […]
A random man on the street told me that cut a few years ago. “stop the world when you wanna get off!” He said as he walked passed me on a saturday night. Even before that night ive always thought about suicide. So much since such a young age that I’m positive im going to commit it. Just waiting for the time to be right. I used cut myself till I felt numb. Not ask a suicide attempt just to feel numb. Thsts all I end eres want is to be numb to evrrything but that would probably turn me into a drug addict. I […]
Not gonna sit here and spill my guts about why my life is terrible. If you’re here, you most likely looked up suicide. Feelin’ pretty good right now. It’s Saturday, nobody is home, it’s just getting dark, and I’ve just returned from every bookstore in the area spending money I had no real right to. It’s not to say that being depressed and wanting to end yourself will get you everything you want. Depression is deep, soul-shattering at it core, even if you don’t know it. Every time your heart pumps blood through your body, it aches to know you’re still alive. But you are. […]
I don’t feel comfortable talking about my life, even behind a veil of anonymity. Not yet any way, But after a long road i’m now living with my Girlfriend, going on 2 weeks now. We’ve been together 10 months. 10 months of only seeing each other every other weekend, so its a nice change.
I thought i got over this a while ago, after 3 attempts and a long spiral everything seemed to be looking up. i joined the Navy(Â i was later separated because I “might” have ADD( their words not mine) i at least tried, which is much more than many others can say. […]
Why go up if your just going to come crashing back down again? This is a question I ask myself everyday day night and pretty much all in between as well, but now you must be curious why well that’s a long story… better put down your homework and ipod and listen up if you really want to know… you know on the other hand play angels on the moon in a constant loop that how I’m feeling right now so that will probably fir to what I’m writing.
           Hi, my name is *Kie*. And yes I am aware it rhythms, been told […]
Older Posts