When I was a little girl, I knew nothing of the word ‘ hate ‘ . I knew no sadness, I was so carefree, I did what I could to make others pleased. I was blind to what my brother was doing to me , blind to see that it wasn’t my fault. After I walked in on my first brother shooting him self in the head , my sweet careless brother
. I noticed my second brother had changed toward me , I noticed he was more hostile. He beat me every night , he kicked my ribs till’ I heard them crack. He […]
Tag:
Rape
Amy, its been 3 years since your passing and I want to leave you a message but never knew where without being ridiculed and questioned whether or not I’m not ok. I was thinking of the day we me so young and carefree I was hopeless and depressed when you met me. That changed so quickly I suddenly had purpose for everything I had a reason to like myself and to like the world around me. I still have your glasses from freshman year safely perched next to the last picture of us, the last time I didn’t fake my smile, the last time […]
I have been through a lot – bullying, attempted murder, attempted rape, none-curable illness etc.. Each time I have escaped with my life, I have found inner strength and saved myself from suicide countless times. Each time I think to myself ‘things will get better’.. But I have yet to see any kind of manifestation of luck.
I am mentally ill. I have suffered with hallucinations, delusions and thought disorder for over a decade. The last year has been particularly hard following a fellow human being physically harming me.
I crumbled and asked for help for the first time ever in January, though I found the process humiliating I was […]
It’s really disgusting to hear some successful story of how someone being happy by adopting the manipulation of others.
One instance that, the famous actor Woody Allen broke the trust between being a father and his adopted daughter by engaging in sex, saying that it’s all because of love.
It’s like, while a girl is sad and in need of comfort, by pathetically crying into the arms of a gay flatmate, naked with just a thin bed-lining covered, and afterward boldly announced to others that somehow it was the gay that initiated and
seduced to have sex.
So, wasn’t there a trust already announced solidly at the […]
i know this is suicide help but im caught on running away;
my boyfriend that i love so much and been with for the longest through THE MOST (me cheating, arguing daily, thinking im pregnant, my bulimia & anorexia, self inflicting, and self esteem) may be going to jail because of my mom; we may argue a lot but in the end were more in love than anything you could imagine; i was raped by my moms ex boyfriend and touched by her 2nd ex husband; all of this is coming out as once; and its sooo much pressure and i dont want my boyfriend […]
After doing a lot of research trying to help myself, i came to the conclusion that maybe i just need to start talking to anyone. I came across this website and thought an unbiased opinion might help. I’m going to try to summarize everything that’s been weighing heavily on me so please bare with me because i could use a strangers ears to listen. I have never wanted to be an unhappy person, even writing this right now feels somewhat like a cop out to me because im unable to handle it all on my own. The very beginning of my life started out in […]
To begin, I am fairly misanthropic and disenfranchised due to humanity’s impact on nature and the wildlife that inhabit (or did inhabit in many cases) this once beautiful planet, Â how society is in general, whether it be the intolerance and hate that monotheistic religions have spread for generations (as well as how religious teachings dominate our political and legal systems despite all of the blatant problems that arise from it), the general lack of concern for our irreversible impacts, our horrible justice systems, our spiraling out of control dependency on technology, etc, etc…. but I also share the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer’s views on misanthropy […]
Fellow empty, twisted, depressed, and manic readers I present the following true story of a perfect example of how the “normal populous” sees us.
I was at one time attending a support group for individuals “like my self” whom suffered from severe bi polar and depression cases. on this occasion someone new brought their mother (her daughter had been to a few meetings and so her mother decided to come).
As we begin the round table of pointless discussion E.G.how was you’re last seven days blah, blah, blah.
We finally reach a single woman who is a severe bi polar like myself. She states the […]
My name is rebecca taylor i am 16 and a sophmore in high school. I have put up with alot of things that most people dont know about me. so where should i begin? well i shall start where my whole life started falling apart. I was four years old at the time i was first raped! i remember this event to well i was asleep when a frind of the family came in my room and started touching me when i tried to scream he punched me in the head and knocked me unconcious. he continued to rape me untill i was seven. at […]
I learned this recently. The story is very confusing. Are you ready?
This is who I thought I was: a severely schizophrenic German boy, who was severely abused as a child, alongside his twin sister. He has a boyfriend, who also has a twin. He is in Foster care.
Who I really am: a Canadian girl, less severely abused, with no twin, no boyfriend, and no Foster care.
What happened: I have multiple personalities. I suppose I’m transgender, because all the personalities are male. I am also schizophrenic, though not as badly as previously thought. The original personality, the female birthed 18 years ago next week, is gone. […]
We are born, are educated, get a job, find a partner, have a family, make enough money to stave off discomfort, live the constant struggle of existence, get old, weak and sad, and then die.
Man killing man, people starving while others watch, rape, death: It all seems so illogical, so pointless. Life must be the complete stupidity of existence itself. Therefore we need to create artificial meaning to prop up our petty lives. We depend on religion, which answers our questions by referring to another world that doesn’t exist but provides a so called reason for living. Some people survive through apathy and conformity, following […]
Hi guys, I hope every is feeling better today, even its just a little better, better is better.
I have started teaching at the weekends, its one of the ways i cope with my deppression, i used to be seriously depressed a few years ago, after a few trips to the er a few weeks in rehab and with the help of a new found friend i have my life back.
I work in a rape crysis center, so i talk to people on prohibly the worst day of there lifes, its tough and it tears me upinside, but i achually get to help someone it makes it all […]
I hate feeling the way that ”we” do. I hate feeling so sad and lonely all the time. I hate having to pretend all the time, transforming myself into someone else in order to “fit in” and be liked. I just want to let it all out, let the darkness take over and let the world see how depressed and messed up i really am.
I was raped many times by my older brother when i was younger. But i was so young that i didn’t know what rape was, and so i i thought it was okay what my brother made me do and […]
Each day I feel more insecure and ashamed of myself. I see my scars. I hate my scars, but I continue to cut. I regret it the next day and I get angry at myself.. and what do I do to release the anger, I cut. It’s like an on going cycle. I used to swim and play sports, but now I avoid public places.. and continue to hide who I really am. There is so much behind my fake smile.
I’m terrible at expressing my feelings in person.. I just choke up.. I feel like I will be judged or rejected. I want […]
for about 9 or so years i had lived in a small judgmental town.. i was continuesly bullied.. to the piont where the only friend i had were the plenty of cuts on my arm… i thaught if people felf sorry for me maybe they would be nice.. stupidest mistake i ever made.. it only got worse.. i attempted cuicide and ended up in the hospital.. they all beleaved it was fake.. i went by emo, slut , cocksuking *****, druggie, crazi skitzofranic, and other.. i was suspended tree times of drug use ..and had stoped coming to school.. one day i was put in […]
I was just recently raped by someone that I knew and it was all because I went on another binge. I just wanted to stay home and drink until Monday morning. Ended up making a really bad decision to attempt to make amends with someone that I had a falling out with. I bought a box of Burgundy, within a few hours it was gone. I got a drunk text from the guy and we decided that I should hang out with him and go to his house. I went down in the morning and he and I continued to drink. It got really bad […]
I keep focusing on the past. It’s been 3 years since he raped me… at school. And 3 years since my whole school started calling me a slut. I started believing them. That boy, my “friend,” was the first one I had ever had any sexual relations with. A freshman in high school, I made a name for myself really fast. I was forced to suck his dick before I even had my first kiss.
I believed it after a while. My mom calling me a “FUCKING SLUT!” and the jokes, “Watch out for the volcano; she blows!” A year later, I gave my neighbor […]
I’m 19 years old, and I’ve been through more than any person should in their lifetime. I’ve been raped twice, the first was by my “loving boyfriend” when I was 15, he said he loved me, and I believed him. Because of this, I was stupid enough to stay with him. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he also physically and emotionally abused me constantly. My so-called friends knew what was going on, and they just sat there and did nothing.  The best day of my life was October 15th 2006 when I got into a car accident and he was killed. I thought the […]
I have horrible anxiety. I’m not completely sure why. But it’s controlling my life. Or rather it affects my life. Greatly. Anyways, the reason why I’m so anxious all the time is because I was abused, raped, and neglected as a child. Even though, technically speaking, I still am a child (I’m 13). The neglect had ended 3 years ago. But the abuse and rape went on until this past fall. Now it’s done. It’s gone. But I feel like it was just yesterday………… So, ya. I have been diagnosed with GAD. But I counselor said I don’t need a medication for it. I also have alot of crazy and creepy fears. These […]
I have been depressed for almost 2 years now. I told my aunt that I was depressed about 1 year ago. The reason why I’m depressed will take me to long to explain, so if your wondering why, check the post that says: “Wishing, Waiting, Dieing”. Anyway, she took me to see a consular a couple of days after I told her how I felt. At that first meeting I was told that if I wasn’t better within the next month, I would be put on a depression pill. A month goes by, nothing. Another month goes by, nothing. I start to let the pain […]
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