he won’t talk to me, won’t realize how much I love him and care, has his head so far up his sperm donor’s ass, my family and ‘friends’ ignore me, even my cries for help. I am surprised they haven’t repo my car yet. so here’s what I got. I’ve done lots of research so it should work. pure caffeine powder, iron pills, Aleve, diphenhydramine, caffeine pills, lamictal… an overdose of just a single one of those could be lethal according to what I have learned, so let’s hope this cocktail works. maybe then people I know will realize that this isn’t the way […]
Tag:
realize
The feeling of being hurt can not fully be described unless you feel it.. you feel it in your soul, in everything you do.. its around you and eventually becomes you and defines you.
Being hurt cuts like a knife.
Once you feel it so many times, you begin to convince yourself that this is how it’s meant to be for you. That feeling of constant rejection, confession, DISAPPOINTMENT.
Hurt can not be covered up with words. Words fade. But hurt doesn’t. You only learn to live with it but once you learn, your hurt all over again, only this time it’s greater than before… […]
It took 3 months for this day to come. For me to feel sick to my stomach and to realize how badly I have fucked up. I had mentioned before still hooking up with my ex and hoping and then feeling nothing. Well the day is here when he has finally blocked my number and deleted his email address that or blocked me there too. I’m not trying to be childish and stalk him or whatever. I genuinely have something important going on and needed to ask him about it. I don’t usually txt him or even call him for that matter, but now I […]
I didn’t mean to seem so coldhearted. I actually love every one of you as you love me. It makes me cry to realize that I’m so mean to you guys. Please forgive me! Oh, and please don’t ban me. :3
Be carful of your own mind,it may not seem like it but u could be in denial,its a tricky thing really there isnt many ways to tell if your lying to yourself.well I can give you one way to absolutely tell if your in denial about something.Look for the tick.that split second feeling of unsure and insecure.that one off moment.if u pay attention you’ll realize just how big of a lie you’ve told yourself.I talk from experience it works but only if you have sharp senses about what goes on in your mind.A tip so u dont have to be like the rest of the […]
This is just to remind you guys of the skype group we created a few days ago, it’s up and running. (text based chat only) With 15 guys on there, it is serving it’s purpose of eliminating (or help you cope up with) loneliness very well indeed.
Sometimes, all we need is just a pat on the back, eh? Many of you won’t even consider joining it, I know, too much hurt from past experiences. Too fucked up to give this a shot. But then, you realize we all are fucked up in one way or the other? This is what makes us compatible. People care here. All you need […]
Hello,
I am a 30 year guy who had been battling depression and self hatred for many years. As the years have passed I have to work even harder to mask my pain. I may have a college degree but I have been out of work for almost two years, have almost no genuine interest and continue to isolate myself. Oh, I also still live at home and have hate myself for not seeing the necessary steps to venture out on my own. I have no real desire to be in a relationship and find myself retreating when my anxiety levels increase or if no creative […]
Tonight is the night. Im going to be in heaven. People have really showed me they dont care. So here it is no more bull shit. Im done with everyone. My boyfriend doesn’t act as id he cares no more. So here is to him. I loved yiu more than anything and you didn’t realize it. I didn’t want to break up and I no we didn’t but even if you didn’t care you could have acted like it. I no im not much.and every girl has trust issue. Especially when you give them a reason. I have them but I’ve tried my best to […]
I feel so selfish for even feeling this way. My life isn’t even bad, but I feel so utterly lost and confused about everything. I feel like no matter how hard I try the people around me aren’t happy with me. I feel like I’m not allowed to think or feel or act how I want, that my parents and uncle and boyfriend want to control those things for me.
I constantly think about how I wish I could crawl under a giant rock and just disappear. Because I’m too cowardly for suicide, and anyway I don’t have access to the things I want to use […]
Hi guys, it’s been some days.
I’ll confess I actually forgot about the SP for some days, and a few days ago I realized I hadn’t logged on in a while. I was kind of shocked, my shock suprised me. Does that mean I actually forgot about suicide for a few days? I did actually. No random thoughts, no dark voices, it had actually been a few peaceful weeks. But does it actually mean I forgot about it? I don’t think so, but it does show me that I can distract myself and have peace, and that makes me hopeful. I think I’m doing okay. I’m […]
Can’t believe I’ve myself again here. With a new face, a new body, a new name… a new me. Still the same old s* happens. It’s been years since the last time I was here. Can’t believe I’m actually back to be honest. I’ve been trying to avoid my reality, to not overthink it and I just realize that all I did was cheating myself. I’m broken again. I’m empty… again. And all I can think of is disappearing… I just want to be in peace. Am I ever going to get it?
I’m going to kill myself, I’m just going to wait until I’m famous to do it.
by sonseray
written by sonseray
It seems they only realize that there is a problem if you kill yourself while you are winning the game.
Life isn’t so fun anymore when you realize you were never the criminal.
You’re the victim.
Yesterday is over..
Yet in the blink of my eye there is still rebirth from the bitterness. There is still hope beyond hopelessness. There is a light!
To late to drown far off the shores from where we’ve been..the tide has turned back to us, and will bring us home
Never to be blinded by the salt of promise, and never to be forgotten!
Wind, breath, earth and my strength rise up in times I need it so desperately.. In times others need it the most!
Turn fire to the darkness and take comfort in its glow. Bring reason to your will, and to mine. Never […]
i realize a lot of you on this site are young so my experiences will not compute. but if you are female and live to see your 40s this is what you can look forward to. i have suffered from severe clinical depression most of my life-all of my adult life. so the next kick in the ass i am experiencing is the run up to menopause. which in itself can cause depression. hormones running amok , thyroid problems, weight gain the laughs just keep coming. which is why my thoughts are running to the dark side these days . that little voice that tells […]
I’ve been doing so well lately. so well. and i have literally no clue why but now i can’t stop crying and i realize how truly alone i am. i cant talk to my parents and my friends arent really friends at all considering they never invite me with them and dont care about me in the slightest. IM COMPLETELY ALONE AND UNWANTED AND UNLOVED AND I DONT HAVE ANYONE TO TALK TO AND NOBODY CARES.
nobody. cares. at all.
I am hopeless, I have no way out, no where to go. I have tried to get help over and over and over and over and over only to be rejected by the 2 people I am trying to get help from. I stopped working last August. I just couldn’t go on anymore. I have a bachelors of science. Against all odds I make something out of myself professionally. But it has done me no good. I still carry the trauma. I absolutely have no friends and no family. I am completely isolated, some days I think I will lose my mind from the isolation. […]
“….the most important thing to realize is that you and every person you see will soon be dead.”
Does anybody else confuse dreams for reality?
I find that most of the time I remember the things that actually happened as if they were dreams- blurry and confusing- while I can remember dreams much more perfectly-as if they were real.
Sometimes it take me a few hours to realize that everything I dreamt wasn’t real, and I get mad a people for things they actually didn’t do.
i have been happier then ever.suicide isnt a thought anymore.finally i dont have to always try and get my mind of trying to kill myself.when the thoughts are taken away.listening to music alwayed helped but now im starting to realize i need to forgive and forget and let go of my past and stop living in the past because if i dont i wont be able to let go