Why does it feel
that Mr. sharp
is the only one
that loves me?
Why is he
the only one
that is able
to make me forget?
the only one that
makes me feel like
i matter?
do i really?
why does it
feel so
good
when my skin
rips open?
Why do
I crave to feel the
pain that he
leaves behind?
I know.
because its the
only thing
reminding me
I’m still alive.
I’ve been meaning to post more often but most of the time I try to keep myself busy and try not to either cut or kill myself. Everyday.
Lately I’ve been feeling really, REALLY lonely and really wanting to find a boyfriend, but with my personality and me being very introverted and shy …. It’s really hard for me to approach really any guy or let any guy approach me … I’m just such a fail idk why I haven’t even attempted once more. Maybe this time it’ll work. Maybe I’ll fuck up myself even more. Who knows?
If life is typified by the apple, then at its core festers a great rot that eats it from within. A rot that has been ignored far too long.
I will create a world that is filled with kind people, even if it means I have to be the only monster left.
I do not care whether you are man or woman. I do not care what the colour of your skin is. I do not care what your beliefs are. The instant you step on the life of another, the moment you take advantage of another human being, much less bring them to the brink of […]
so i am thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend of 10 years to focus on finding a good job with my education. She is all i had. trust me i wont find someone else to love me. just trust me (just trust me). I am focused on finding a good job soon, or im ending my life. Its that simple. if i find a job, i will contact her. she is not focused on a job, and it is hurting me to stay with her right now. im totally alone. i want to live, so im giving myself 2 years to find a good […]
I’ve noticed that some of the dumbest things can make me feel completely inadequate as a human being. For example..
-I really REALLY suck at folding fitted sheets. I work in housekeeping at a nursing home and I’m in laundry tonight. All I can think about is how awful that stack of sheets looks.
– I have a little extra bounce in my step when I walk. I feel like it’s drawing attention to me so I try WAY too hard to correct it.
– i couldn’t get a bag open wjilebi was checking out at Wal-Mart the other day. I struggled a bit with it because the […]
I want a fing drink. Being sober is nice most of the time… The thought of booze is great, but really you turn into a blathering idiot.
What the hell do i di? Hes told me he did this to his ex wife. That he can break all my teeth out, and bail out the next day. I can take alot, but he covered my nose and mouth with me in a headlock, and than i REALLY understood, he could kill me. Its great for him, because no one would evwn look. I dont speak to my family, have no friends anymore. The only people […]
OK so I’m 16 years old and I am really close with a teacher at my school. She’s keeping a secret from everyone else that I do drugs (Pain killers) and she’s trying to help me bring up my grades by DRAGGING me to tutorials. And talking to me about why I feel so empty. But she is trying to get me to stop taking drugs and cutting myself, and I cant. She shows me how much she loves and cares about me, and I love it. But I’m hurting her by continuing to do the bad things that I do. So I just decided to […]
If I could just do it right now, it would be very little planning, as few “tools” as possible and I would REALLY enjoy feeling physically amazing just before starting.
I would want to do something quick, like a little slit of the wrists, thighs,and then carotid and jugular veins / arteries. Either that our I’d eat a bullet. Quick, precise, and thorough.
The only reason I can’t do it right
this moment is because I have so much shit to wrap up so that I know that I will be absolutely no more burden to anyone. , Plus, if I were to go […]
I’m new to this site but I have seen a lot of posts about God. So I guess I’ll throw my two scents in.I’m just sitting here thinking that I should choose my next words carefully. Most of you will not read or care about what I write, so WTF.
Don’t you think it’s strange that every civilization has had some concept of a higher power? A God. Some benevolent being that looks down on all of us? Envoking an element of fear and obideince? Expecting our every whim and though to bend to this end? No matter what religion it might be? Is this not […]
Yesterday I was arrested on the GG bridge for a suicide attempt. I was there. I had it. The motivation was there. My leg started to climb up over the railing. Then I saw the police coming. Now this was REALLY it. I could either just use my other leg and take the leap, or go back the other way and let the cops take me into custody. Unfortunately, I’m still here which means I succumbed to the arms of two policeman.
To those who haven’t seen it, the view is incredible. Such a serene feeling knowing that you could take your life right then and […]
I have been thinking about this, and so I’ll post it.
I know we all suffer terribly, and I personally think suicide is a legitimate choice that people should be allowed to make… having said this there is something that that I do have a little problem with: PRACTICING ON YOURSELF!
I just remember working on the periphery of the medical profession for many years, and people who are all carved up or who have to have their stomachs pumped every couple of months are just not taken seriously. Medical staff, social workers, group home staff just simply wear down when clients or patients or CONSUMERS (what a friend’s […]
Do you REALLY think its a gift
a gift that you dont want
a gift that haunt your whole life
a gift thats makes people uneasy
a gift that people think that your a fucking weirdo
a gift that people makes fun of you
well sorry to tell you this
BEING BI/GAY IS NOT A GIFT
some people learn to live with it
but some dont
I dont
I miss you guys….I love you all and I hope you are still alive…BTW my life sucks and did I mention it REALLY sucks?
Find love…cherish it hold onto it and NEVER LET IT GO!….something as small as love can save something as big as your life
like, really? i’m being totally serious. i keep hearing stories about people taking pills and ending up in the hospital and all of that – but… what if the person isn’t found? i mean.. if somebody was to take an entire bottle, of say tylenol for example, in a secluded area with nobody to rescue them. would they not eventually die after being passed out for a while? assuming they passed out before vomiting? or something? i just really really don’t want to fuck this up 🙁
I don’t know if anyone else goes through this, but I don’t experience too much happiness because of the mind I have. My mind is my greatest bully. It tells me things that may or may not be. It over-analyzes things. It makes mountains out of molehills. When I’m happy, it’s ok. But when I am having a bad day, I’m really REALLY having a bad day. What do I do when I have a bad day? I think of suicide of course. My mind sets me up. It seems like it’s not mine sometimes. It’s like a voice that says…”no one cares”….or “no one will miss you”……or “you would […]
So I think the one thing I am proudest of is how much of a geek i am (LARP D&D video games etc…) heres the thing i havnt had the time to attend any of my games lately because of real life responsibilities
To get a feeling for me as a person im 25 i live with a super good looking girl who i somehow convinced to date me a few years ago and i just started a great job that is allowing me to get out of the factories ive worked in since i was 17… but because I dont have time to go to […]
Hi. I’m Dolly. I’m going to attempted to explain ME through things that I hate.
Enjoy.
I hate when people say if you wanted to die you would have killed yourself already.
I hate when people think I’m too pretty to REALLY commit suicide.
I hate when I try to talk to someone about my world it doesn’t seem important.
I hate when my boyfriend beats me. Then makes me prostitute after.
I hate being his prostitute.
I hate when an abusive step dad goes”unnoticed”
I hate animal abusers.
I hate that my friends can commit suicide but I can not.
I hate when my boyfriend slaps me […]
been in this site about a week readin and readin the stories… i’ve been depressed for 6 months and now i’m runnin out of resources to get my mind out it, since i’ve already failed in everythin n developin panic/anxious attacks isn’t helpin. or might be… actually the attacks are gettin a full mixed of emotions and desperate livin/dyin feelings. i just dont know whats real anymore… takin even more pills to get to sleep but every single minute dreamin about humiliantin/powerfull evil forces (not like ghosts or somethin) comin to me and makin the few people that i love suffer. i wake up with […]
What rule did my most recent post violate for it to be deleted? I’m pretty sure it was flagged by people who have a motive in disrupting something they dislike from someone they dislike… Its fine though… The room will still come to fruition… Flagging my post just shows you’re (not the sp admins) worried about me doing so and you’re trying to prevent it… Ah well nice try though…
My post got deleted. Wow. I could just restore it from the trash but I don’t want my account to get deleted too.
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