Those of you who saw my “Sushi-In-A-Desert” picture may have noticed this in the comments:
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.
Um.
At some point on Sunday evening, I realized I couldn’t resist.
Samurai eating pizza in a bowling alley with an ancient Greek priestess.
Here:
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Hei! Let’s just start that I have been hospitalized basically since 16th of december( was let out beginning of march but taken in after 4 days..). I made a suicide attempt and thats how it started. They are still not sure I won’t do it again so they keep raising my antidepressants dose and keep me in hospital. But I am not depressed and actually I believe I will end with suicide anyway, regardless of my mood and wether its sooner or later. I wonder what will be done with me if I endlessly admit to being suicidal. Will I be just let out eventually […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Hello everyone,
I’m back here again. I think I know the answer to the question “Is life better than the alternative?”. Its not. I mean how can it be? As I sit here is my dark room, I can see that I’m not alone. I have a companion who likes to sit in the dark just like me. Usually he just sits by himself in the corner. But today his gaze is upon me. He is beckoning me. “Its time” he whispers. “Come to me. I will take you to a better place”. I don’t think I can resist him anymore. Its weird, I can almost […]
Absolutely beautiful out today. Time to hit those waves, I just couldn’t resist posting this.
Must resist urge to post depressing music… Must resist…
The last few days have been the worst in a while. He doesn’t like my scars and said its a deal breaker if I cut again. he doesn’t like me smoking or drinking. he hates that suicide crosses my mind every day. ive been so depressed, and I am forbidden from using my coping strategies. I tied myself a noose last night, just in case. I held the blade against my skin and managed to resist slicing. I beat myself with a belt tonight to try and feel something again. He doesn’t like how skinny I am, even though ive put on 5lb for him […]
Lately my aunts been telling me i do or did things yeti have no memory of it, the other day she finally lost it and said i was just fucked up in the head and said she had to walk oug to resist beating the shit out of me. Thats all i remember but i woke up in the middke of the night my arm hurting and by the looks of it i stabbed myself with scissors. The next day i noticed the skin around it turning green, is that bruising from the impact or should i be worried, idk i just didnt know where […]
I can’t get no sleep
Ok, so that’s an exaggeration. Even on the worst nights, I usually manage 1-2 hours. What I mean to say is that I can’t get enough sleep to function properly. During my work week, I spend most of the time wandering around in a haze, zombified, narrowly avoiding bumping into people, longing for the day to end. But then the night finally comes, and I just can’t get to sleep at a reasonable hour, no matter how tired I am.
I feel like I’ve tried all the standard advice. Sticking to routines, exercise, limiting technology use, changing my diet, meditation, yoga, warm […]
I found my way back to this site, over 3 years since my first and only post. It’s been so long I had forgotten I even made an account. And how disheartening it was to have the realization that in many ways, I am no better now than I was then. The stigma that is still around mental health leads people to believe that these conditions are just something one can “get over”. That surrounding yourself with loved ones, exercising, getting a pet, etc., will “cheer you up”. I stand as one of so very many examples that this is not the case. Though I […]
Dear city of more,
It seems like it will never end. I want to be out in the streets with you, out fighting the good fight but I am debilitated by this sorrow. I am not able to do my own work. I can only read articles and weave through media to get tangled in this debate that is no debate at all. I send to you love, the little I have in my heart. I am worn but will resist in the ways I can and will be there when I can, as much as I want to just die and not have to see […]
Silence is the keystone in my life. It is the builder, the modifier, and the end result. It is the constant. It is a bit like Zero. Anything multiplied by It becomes It. It is undefined in division. It is the representation of Nothing, but It has more meaning than almost any other thing.
Everything returns to Silence. How can Nothing be so prevalent? How can Nothing be so important? Humanity chases the Silence of past generations and declares It history. Humanity chases the secrets hidden in the Silence of space. We always end up in Silence, one way or another. Perhaps It is the proper […]
I’m getting to the top, I can’t resist too much, I hate being alive, I have so many fucking problems, I’m close to turn 21 and I think I have not lived what I wanted to live by this age, My health has never been worse, I think I’m getting into a very serious eating disorder, I’m starting to harm myself again, I’m starting to hate myself even more and hate everything around me, I feel fed up, tired, sad, and so fucking weak all the time. I try to communicate with my family, but I barely see them and that makes everything even harder, […]
I cannot.
I must not.
I must resist.
But it’s so hard.
Just one wouldn’t hurt, right ?
At most, I’ll be a little bit more hyper. A little more “happy”. It’ll be okay.
“Smile brighter” “laugh a little louder”
-cause nothing really matters-
Because it’s something that we wanna do, and when we’ve finally done it, it’s like an Achievement Unlocked so yay we feel satisfied.
Yayyyyyyyy
must resist…do…not..cut…must…not…cut…
Couldn’t resist.
Epoch time 142000000 (seconds from 1-1-1980, being used in computers a lot) is Wed, 31 Dec 2014 04:26:40 GMT
Best wishes and I’m glad you are still alive!
I have a bad habit of not taking my meds. Only two of them are important, one stops the seizures and the other helps me from attempting at my life. Even when i’m on my meds i still wish to die but off of them,hell i can only say it’s hard to resist killing myself. My boyfriend would be completely ruined and so would my family. That’s the only reason to be honest, i except the thought of death. I’ve been told that i’m selfish and complain a lot but if people knew the crippling pain i was in they would shut the fuck up. […]
Zopiclone is squirting into my brain. If they find a way to make the taste you find in your mouth at this point less horrible, it would be much appreciated.
My mind is starting to melt like candles, bright glittering, forming pools of liquid, yet a solid.
I was told these can make some people hallucinate if you try to resist the urge to sleep, but it didn’t work for me.
I didn’t mean to make this post so long, but typing the last few paragraphs has been incredibly hard and and glittering sparking birds fly through the sky, they feed off the weak. They […]
giggles, smiles, happy moments
shattered broken and
Disappearing replaced with a broken heart and tears
A deeper darkness than you will ever know
Pushing on is to much
Causing more and more pain
The thought is more sweet than ever
Maybe it would be better
Everyone would be happy
The Darkness grows stronger with each passing day
Why fight
Why resist
Its the better option
Everyone else would be happy
At work I’m supposed to fill out these safety cards, basically saying that I saw a co-worker doing something safe or unsafe. Theres a drawing where you can win a gift card and other stuff. Well, I’ve got to fill out two a week at least. I already did a “safe”one, so today I just wanted to get my “unsafe” card out of the way. Well, guess who I happened to see go outside without his orange vest on. What’s that? My ex, you say? You’re quite right, you smart cookie, you. So I write him up the card, give the info half to my […]
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