I’ve landed back at my mom’s after yet another bipolar misfortune and It’s just torture to see how happy they are here. I am the weird vampire with  permanently shut curtains in an enclosed chamber that forcibly goes out only when strictly necessary. Still the door is not thick enough to prevent my family’s loud and constant laugher from reaching my ears. I get to hear their phone conversations and how they constantly make plans to meet others, go out to restaurants, country houses, trips and even to have sex. I want to strangle them. They once asked me, would you rather all of us […]
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Sex
I have thought and battled trust me, I have got myself out of some really downward states. the thing is though I cant change my life, my external life, Ive changed my internal one but my external one remains empty. I struggle to accept that while I am good looking/ wise/ good hearted/ fun (if im in the right mood) my looks and who I am just means nothing to the majority of women. I guess my problem is in my empty life that I have come to rely on dating sites instead of real life.
Im 34 , good looking and the only woman who seems into me […]
The only reason I am living is for others. My family, friends, and people I dont even know. I would have committed suicide by now, but ive told my friend not to tell anyone so if i end up doing it the burden will be on his shoulders. I dont know what to do. I havent told my parents or anything because i cant face them. I am a coward they would feel terrible, they would feel failure as parents if i told them. My life seems to have no meaning. Seems that nothing can make me happy. When something does make me happy it […]
i’ve never posted here before. i’ve read a lot of posts, and wanted to respond to many… but i never could find the right words, because i would feel hypocritical telling someone “it will be okay”, when in fact it very well may not be. i know that’s not the point, but still.
i had everything i every truly wanted. i was married to the most beautiful girl in the world, who also was my very best friend. i have been head over heels in love with her since we first met in 2001. i was 19 then, she was 16. we both made some mistakes, […]
Why god Why take my unborn Childs life away?
It was so innocent not even bigger then my hand.
not even knowing what the sex was..
why do this to me and my little family?
why why why!
It was my little miracle and you ripped it from my heart and took my gift away from me, why?
Their are other girls with baby’s , girls who don’t even want them!!! I wanted mine!!! other girls get so scared , but I didn’t , I was excited and the most happiest girl , but u took that from me! Why why WHY!!!!!!
I thought I’d never have to come back here. I thought I was doing fine. I used to severely scratch my skin (around my shoulders and chest so no one could see) to take some extremely negative thoughts out on myself. I had stopped for about 4 days now. Then… today happened.
_________________________
Here’s a little back-story;
About 3 years ago, my ex cheated on her boyfriend of 2 years with her friend, they obviously broke up. Then me and her dated for about 2 weeks last year, but she left me to get back together with her ex, but he didn’t want her. She then […]
Okay, i’m 13 years old. I have to repeat the 7th grade. I would’ve passed it, but i left my school 3 weeks early. That school stressed me out, to the point where i just couldn’t do it. i never wanted to go back there again. i only had about 2-3 friends at the end of the year. i like, pushed everyone away. i don’t even know how. right now, it’s about a month and a half into summer. i moved across town, so i’m going to be starting a new school. i lost connection with all my friends from my previous school, but like […]
So cut my wrists & black my eyes so I can fall asleep tonight.
by _PrincessSin
written by _PrincessSin
I hope everyone who sees this reads it, I am no one special, I’m an 18 year old girl with so much baggage. When I was 15 I met this guy & at first I didn’t let him in didn’t trust him or love him, but at some point my guards came down & I let him in, September 27, 2009 was our day and it all ended after a year & a half. Imagine me vulnerable & alone. In love with someone who promised me the world. Said he fucking loved me forever and ever and always and eternity. Then one day he didn’t […]
I started cutting in 5th grade. I always thought of trying to commet suicide but I was always to scared to try because i thought how will my parents feel ? When i got in the 6th grade things got worse I moved to a new town and my parents got divored and I didnt know anyone in this town, but i knew one person and they knew me to but not in a good way. It all started on facebook I met him and he looked cute but I never met him in person so I thought I would lie to my friends and […]
It would seem as though I have a lot. Well-off family, decently attractive, intelligent…the list goes on. Sometimes, I feel like such an asshole for even feeling lousy when so many people in the world are suffering and have none of the things I have. But I just cant find a way to be happy.
I was adopted, so I don’t even know my medical history. Depression in the family? Who knows. I am 22 now and should be graduating from college, but I have transferred twice and can’t connect socially with anyone, anywhere. Everyone thinks I am super smart and know everything, but then why […]
It’s really disgusting to hear some successful story of how someone being happy by adopting the manipulation of others.
One instance that, the famous actor Woody Allen broke the trust between being a father and his adopted daughter by engaging in sex, saying that it’s all because of love.
It’s like, while a girl is sad and in need of comfort, by pathetically crying into the arms of a gay flatmate, naked with just a thin bed-lining covered, and afterward boldly announced to others that somehow it was the gay that initiated and
seduced to have sex.
So, wasn’t there a trust already announced solidly at the […]
I have to go, yet I don’t feel like going. I feel like if I kill myself, I will go to hell, because of all of the crap I’ve done in my life. With the lesbianism and the lesbian sex, and even just the reguar sex, will all probably land me in hell. The worst pat about all of this is that I’m not even 16 yet and my life is already hard. I thought it would be hard when I grow up and marry, but it’s so hard now that I don’t even want to make it there. I have attempted at cutting,but i […]
I love her with all my heart. But I hate her for doing this to me. I love her for being honest about her feelings. But I hate her for not having those feelings. I hate myself for hating her. I hate myself for loving her.
Sometimes I think I’d be better off if I’d never looked at her a second time. It’s funny how that single act of going up to her and starting a conversation, has led me to where I am now. Sometimes I think I’d be better off if we’d never met, but then I wouldn’t have enjoyed the WONDERFUL time we […]
I’m 5’7… so i’m too tall
My hair is shoulder length… so its too short
I hate wearing makeup… so im ugly
Ive had sex with 3 men…so im a whore
I’m pregnant…so im used
I let him beat me…so im weak
I beat him up because he beat me one time too many…so i’m a man
I cut myself…so i only want attention
I cry…so im dramatic
I’m popular and have no real friends…so im pathetic
I’m smart…so im a geek
I dont want another boyfriend…so nobody wants me
He’s had sex with me…so I belong to him
almost every week i get called ugly either once or twice. im a very nice person, i just dont know why people call me such mean names. today this boy really hurt my feelings, he said “your ugly if i called you cute id be lying…” but this same boy keeps asking me to have sex with him and asked me out twice! i know he doesn’t think im attractive but.. that broke my heart and it was in front of the entire class… middle school was hell, my “friend” posted my picture on facebook next to monkeys and ET and EVERYONE commented on it […]
I tried to become a better person. To stop the things that make me hate myself so much.
I talked about this before but it’s starting to become a big problem again.
Thinking about it makes me want to vomit. I’m so disgusted with myself and the situation.
I just made it to partner 32, yay for the whore!
I was doing so well, three months. No sex. I was so proud of myself. But then they came back. And because I’ve been avoiding instead of dealing with the problem directly I crumbled.
I did say no, I did move his hand when he tried to touch me. I tried […]
Seven years ago my husband left me and my one year old daughter. Â He was very verbally abusive and I never realized how much he tore me down. Â Since then it has been one bad relationship (if you can call them that) after another. Â I have been smacked around, forced to have sex, and used just for sex and I stupidly believed that people loved me when in fact they were just using me. Â I don’t think anyone has ever really loved me. Â The only person that has kept me going is my daughter but I am starting to think maybe she is better off […]
Ever since my mom died when i was 14 i’ve been depressed. I was a momma’s girl, i slept in the bed with her till i was 12. Alot of things happened to me as a child. My father left when i was 3 and I was molested by a friend of the family when i was 8. I remember being really shy as a child and scared of everyone and everything. I was constantly teased by my older sisters for being so cringy and i’d cry. Then one friday morning, after fighting a long battle of breast cancer, my mother died in her bedroom. When she died noone even acknowledged my presence. […]
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