I loved you, I loved you so so much, but I could just never tell you, I wanted to keep you as my friend and I tried, I tried so hard to keep my friend. I always try so hard with you and I just can’t do it anymore, you don’t understand how much it’s hurting me that you don’t even acknowledge the effort I make, it might not seem like much but it’s hard for me to just let go, but i’m trying but I just don’t even see why anymore babe. I’m sick of of you throwing me aside for what you consider […]
Tag:
Shit
Twice in the past week I’ve tried to hang myself.
How naive of me, to think it would be so easy?! Yeah, it’ll be painful but I’ll only feel it for 5minutes I thought. I even got the right measurements for an immediate neck break and everything. (thanks to an anonymous website)
Yet I am stopped by the simplest things. The first time nearly happened spontaneously in a toilet cubicle at school …okay that sucked. I got interrupted by a fucking teacher anyway. T_T
Then I tried in my bedroom when no-one was around. And the peg snapped. I was so close. Instead I tried hanging myself lying […]
Rules are made to enslave boredom is there to tell you it’s time to change the view i just want to find the cheat codes so i can fly
everytime i turn on the tv i feel like smashing the room i hate to work and be taxed because people i don’t know are having it a little worse then me all i find are lies dyed in virtue i hate this world because a hero gets a bullet in the head and the villain gets a medal
Someone else has to tell me how to live because god said so or half the people elected a puppet.My family doesn’t know shit about […]
I don’t even know why I’m writing this, I guess because I have nothing else to do. I’m almost 22, graduating from a community college this semester, jobless, and still living with my parents. I just feel fucking pointless though.
I say graduating, but I know that’s only if I can actually make it through these 2 classes I’m taking. I can’t study, I never want to, all I want to do is just waste my life away on video games, so I don’t have to think about my current life. I’m still living at my parents house, and not to brag but they are decently […]
This past month has been so many things; horrendous, miserable, cloudy with a chance of shit, amazing and terrible at the same time.
I attempted to make amends with my mother…she at the first opportunity sent me home said goodbye and drove off.
I tried to help a child in need but was chased away by an overprotective foster parent.
I made an effort to fit in and went to a part, somebody slipped something into my non-alcoholic drink and I ended up vomiting all over the front lawn
I found a boy…A boy who seemed to like me for me scars and all. I remember the first night we shared together, he took me to a […]
I feel like a criminal. I feel like i’ve done so many unspeakably horrible things. Yet i havent. Why? I believe i deserve to be tortured and shot dead, because i feel that im such a bad person that i deserve to be dead. Someone like me who is just such a freak deserves to die. I feel like i have no good. I used to think i was compassionate, but im not anymore because my family would always tell me off for it. I just finished one of my many long talks with my brother about my bad traits. This time it was about […]
Can’t stop thinking about this shit, have to write it or I’ll do something really fucking stupid
by fibsequence
written by fibsequence
I have been having suicidal thoughts lately
Seems like the easiest way out…..yet I’ve seen how suicide affects my friends, and I don’t want them to feel the pain of going through that ever again
So I’m stuck in an endless loop of torturing myself
I don’t fear death, I embrace it
Why fear something you know nothing about? It could be the best thing that ever happened to you
I am ugly, and all people ever seem to care about is how a person looks
Even if one of my friends is eyeing someone, they always judge them based on what they look like, and involve me
Even I’m guilty of […]
I was at that muslim cemetery you were buried in, which is a little heart wrenching because you are without a doubt athiest. I found some kind of ritual you can do to bring a loved one back for a little while, it was hell to do, but it was possible and I did it. You came back but it wasn’t the same. You were happier, and more at peace, rather you were still your condescending self. Just not as much. We talked for a while, and I felt so much better. Your family members and some friends came to the gravesite. Some could see […]
I’m tired. Really really tired. I just realized something today. I’ve been struggling my whole life for what? Nothing I do can change the outcome of my life. All I can do is choose whether I want to make things more difficult for myself or not.
I haven’t seen my therapist in almost a month. I know I should contact her and I feel bad for not showing up. But, talking with her is painful. It reminds me of what things should be like and how I want things to be. But, that’s never going to happen for me.
I could go to school. I could suck […]
I’m so old and haven’t really had a chance to live.
I was abused as a child by people I trusted. I was raped as a teen for walking alone. I married to young to a sadist who would drug and rape me.  He’d make videos and take pictures. But, since we are married,he owns me I guess. The police don’t care at all. He seldom left marks you could see.  I don’t remember conceiving two of my children.
So when I do leave,hoping for a better life I find that a year late everything is still shit and I just want to die. Â It wold stop all the […]
Yes, that’s what my mother struggled to rub in me yesterday. All because I left my university without her goddamn permission in the midterm. I found a job, she wouldn’t let me work. She claims that I’m living in a kind of faitytale. She wants me to study, study, study… I’m so sick of it. I’m in for a fuckload of problems now. She is running out of money. I am running out of patience. Having to wait for another half-year to be able to work in the summer and pick up the fucking money I need to buy a gun. If I make a […]
What’s life when you live it alone? Lost with no home. Call but nobody picks up the phone. The ones you’ve loved have left. They say they did it to help you so how’s that make sense? So now your against the fence. What do you do keep moving on hoping it gets better. But it so much easier to let it all go just to let all fall. Fuck it just let it hang out. Take those pills smoke that shit drink down till it’s all gone. And when the bottle is empty so is ur mind u can escape this time even if […]
Every day its the same thing, like a movie over and over.
Why do I keep fucking shit up? Why am I so stupid? I just… Feel like I am no good to anyone. I feel like all I do is screw shit up. I have nowhere to go, no friends that I can rant to freely without them getting annoyed and I’m left to this site. I have hit rock-bottom, and my last resort was this website.
Tell me, how pathetic does that sound? A site called The Suicide Project is where I go to when I need to vent. Yeah, most may call me lucky: I’ve been accepted into an amazing cosmetology school, I’m a model, […]
Its okay you got a bad grade. It’s okay you’re not skinny and have bright eyes and don’t fit into size four jeans. It’s okay boys don’t whistle at you (I mean, you’re not a dog, are you?) It’s okay that you’re friends are leaving, because if they were such good friends, they’d be sitting with you trying to not make you feel like shit.
It’s okay you’re parents shout at you, their trying their best and I don’t think they remember how it feels to be a teenager anyway. It’s okay you feel as though you’ve lost yourself, everybody does from time to time. […]
Why? Just why, is it that it’s always the same thing that happens over and over and over? People just constantly use me and never for a second take into consideration what I do for them? I’m sick of always being the one looking after everyone. The one who’s always there. The one who’s never appreciated, not even for a second. Everyone just always takes me for an absolute fool. I’m sick of it. I really am. I’d love just for a while if people could actually see how lonely I really am. Just how shit everything really is. But no one could be bothered […]
i love my boyfriend but…. he recently almost killed himself. if it werent for me calling the police he’d be dead. but now he’s mad and im sick of all this shit. i mean i love him but i cant handle this anymore. but if i break up with him he’ll kill himself. plus i know my other friend c. will ask me out and i like him. nowhere near as much as my current bf but i do like him and couldnt say no. and then my current bf would try to beat up c. (and hurt himself in the process because he’s not […]
I’m going into this thinking that I’ll seem stupid or that people are going to shit on me. Trolls seem to exist everywhere and they’re probably on this site too. Also, I ostensibly have a great life, and if/once I can manage to get my act together, I’ll probably be a very happy and successful man. No history of sexual abuse, no awful violence, little to no economic hardship, etc. I went to a good college and, until recently, was in decent jobs that provided me with living wages. Under the surface, though, I feel like I’m losing my head and I’m not sure what […]
Hi
Looking for some help, if that’s OK. I can go to places I have been before, no trouble in travelling there if don’t have to walk too far. But if I have to go somewhere new or speak to someone outside I really panic. Literally freeze. I cannot wait in line anywhere, and when I walk and someone walks towards me I freeze, so they walk into me. I live in London, this happens a lot. Does anyone know what I mean? Can you give me some pointers? I have to do something about this. No point in living if cannot buy myself a cake […]
I think my dad might have dementia. Fuck my life.