Tag:

Silence

These thoughts are too loud.

by lilblues 8/14/2013

written by lilblues

I thought I was past this, I thought she was gone, or at least frozen for a while.

I’d been content (never happy) for a while, but all suddenly again the world is dark.

It makes me cry to look at my face, to look at my body, gives me hope when i cause myself pain,

each thought containing something that may lead to happiness is tainted.

Each opportunity handed to me, each gift of love shared with me I care little for and ruin.

I feel worthless, I feel ashamed, this is the 19th night in a row i’ve cried.

Im so much more ugly when I cry too.

God why […]

8/14/2013 1 comment

Everyone’s mad here…

by OffWithHerHead 7/1/2013

written by OffWithHerHead

When I look forward and try to picture my future I see absolutely nothing. That petrifies me, that feeling of dread catches in my lungs and I donâ€™t know what to do. How do I make it go away? Dear god I need something. The blade is not enough anymore, I love her, I always will, but itâ€™s becoming dull. I fantasise about suicide, the howâ€™s and whenâ€™s â€¦ pills or hang from a rope or a trip off a ledge, if you dare. I want more than anything to make it stop; I need it all to fucking stop. I have never attempted, I […]

7/1/2013 5 comments

Vulnerable.

by keptquietlockedinside 6/29/2013

written by keptquietlockedinside

He broke me down and got into my core, the capital of my heart. He happily resided in the blood of my soul, or so I thought. Unknowingly he was living in someone elses heart much more happily resided in theirs rather than mine. Caressed my mind with sweet nothings and empty words that should’ve been full of emotion. Worked into my brain and blindsided me from the signs. From the facts. I thought maybe somebody could be content and liberated with just me and no one else. Told me his fears and goals. Broke into tears full of heartbreak and confusion .. all for […]

6/29/2013 3 comments

“Rant”-page

by PierceTheVeilAddict 6/18/2013

written by PierceTheVeilAddict

I don’t even know what to begin with here. I tried typing the first few lines so many times. UGH! Okay, let’s get this straight: this rant is not about people. It’s about me. I apologize if it sounds conceited but there are so many inferences made about the mental illnesses I have so I’m going to list them one at a time so you can understand them. As well as some sexuality things.

ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder):

1. It does not mean that I get distracted with every little detail. I can, actually, hold a full conversation without going: “Ooh! A rock!”

2. I’m hyper all […]

6/18/2013 0 comment

My feelings

by afriend4me 6/18/2013

written by afriend4me

My past is a bad one Â Â
I’ve learnt to hide
But some of you know itÂ
I can see in your eyes
So what do I doÂ
Where do I hideÂ
What are you thinkingÂ
With misunderstood eyes
I carry my shame Â
It’s all my faultÂ
Â My life full of torture
I hide in my house
The silence not lasting
I am just the mouseÂ
The look in your eyesÂ
It drives me insaneÂ
Â Maybe just a smileÂ
Can ease my painÂ
You don’t know my sideÂ
It’s story untoldÂ
With pen to paperÂ
All soon will be toldÂ
So as we reflectÂ

6/18/2013 1 comment

Locomotive Breath

by flatus 6/13/2013

written by flatus

In the shuffling madness
Of the locomotive breath
Runs the all-time loser
Headlong to his death
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNCT6pA5I9A
He feels the piston scraping
Steam breaking on his brow
Old Charlie stole the handle and
The train it won’t stop going
No it don’t slow down

He hears the silence howling
Catches angels as they fall
And the all-time winner
Has got him by the balls..

6/13/2013 0 comment

I need to continue…

by JustKeepDreaming 6/12/2013

written by JustKeepDreaming

Hi again..
It’s little old me.
I figured I would continue my story seeing as it has been really weighing me down lately.
So, uhm, yea, here I go…again..
Things continued that way for awhile, but then things got a little worse…or a little better depending how you look at it..
My mother and that guy got into fights, a lot, and very bad fights..
When I close my eyes I the silence, I can still here the shouting, screaming and the faint sirens in the distance..
Anyways, they ended up taking some time a part from one another, that would be good right?
It […]

6/12/2013 2 comments

I don’t think I can take it anymore.

by AceofBlades 6/11/2013

written by AceofBlades

It feels like my world is going down the drain. There is always this nagging feeling in the back of my head, telling me to end it. I silence it most of the time, but lately, the thought of suicide has been seeping into my brain more and more. I am at a loss at the moment. I don’t know what to do. I can’t decide whether I want to end it or keep going. I know there are things to live for, but are they really worth it? Is it worth all the pain and struggle? Â I don’t want to hurt my family, but […]

6/11/2013 1 comment

I hate this world

by Zanna 6/10/2013

written by Zanna

I hate it every second of the day. I hate beeing a human. I hate everything about this civilization.

My heart cries every day, when i see all the slaughter of animals.. when i see all the killing, i hate people. We are the most evil creatures in this world. We will and we are ruin everything beautifull.

i’m sick and tired of watching this. is like i don’t belong in this world i dont belong anywhere. and anyone.

I hate it. I hate my life and everythig i do and i’we done its pointless.. nothing changes.. Only thing i love in this shitbag world are animals and […]

6/10/2013 7 comments

….

by 4L1C3 6/9/2013

written by 4L1C3

I am alive and well for now

I wonder how the end will come for me

I hear silence ringing in my ears

I see a barrier between sociality

I want to fly high above the clouds

I am waiting in angerâ€¦.

I pretend life is fair

I feel sorrow and corruption in my heart

I touch the edges of many hardships

I worry about the other hemisphere

I cry when I am permanently abandoned

I am an unstable beingâ€¦.

I understand itâ€™s hard to leave someone behind

I say â€œI can move onâ€ but truly canâ€™t

I dream of a world no longer full of suffering

I try not to be a burden to others

I hope for a place […]

6/9/2013 3 comments

Goodbye, Friend

by Twitch 5/23/2013

written by Twitch

I am guessing you are gone now.Â I havenâ€™t heard from you in a while and know you had little rope left, needing what remained to hang from.Â I never learned your real name and donâ€™t know what you looked like; I only knew you for a few weeks but we shared more in that time than most do in many years.Â I loved you, my friend.Â Truth be told, I had a big crush on you too and part of me wishes I had said so.Â My world was better for your having been in it and I will always remember you and thank […]

5/23/2013 3 comments

stop

by secretgrrl 5/21/2013

written by secretgrrl

stop cutting

that’s what needs to happen
that’s what i need to do.

but the problem isn’t knowing that
i know it all right

i know perfectly fine that’s what i have to do

it’s just i’m not strong

never have been strong.

i’m not strong enough to stop

because i need the pain so much

i need the anchor to the earth
so much
that i can’t give it up now.

i don’t know if i would call this an
addiction

but maybe that’s what it is.

idk.

how should i know?

why should i know?

and sometimes i just want to be

gone
wiped out of existing forever because you know my existence is
pointless anyways.

i am so […]

5/21/2013 2 comments

Its not about me…its him (I’m just coming along for the ride)

by Soprano 5/21/2013

written by Soprano

First things first here in the UK its exam season.

So my friend had anÂ exam today: Biology and considering he wants to study medicine – well psychology,Â it was really important for him to do well. I asked him yesterday if he felt prepared for it and he said he “barely knew any of the content” – but he always says that and goes on toÂ get 90% on his papers and so I pushedÂ the commentÂ aside.
After his exam today I asked him how he thought it went and he said “SHIT”. Again its something he always says when he finishes exams and so I began to push […]

5/21/2013 0 comment

So close

by Sam 5/18/2013

written by Sam

To be honest I don’t know why I put up an act and lie that I’m happy. I’m not. Maybe one day but I don’t know my future it’s not clear to me why my life is filled with so much hate regret and sorrow. I don’t know how to tell them that I’ve not been okay I hate to see the worry in my mom’s eyes and the guilt that my dad has. It’s just to much for them to take.. Sitting here in silence and not being able to talk or cry and hug my mom. I came to realize that they have […]

5/18/2013 1 comment

I miss them… Though I shouldn’t really…

by greatpretender 5/3/2013

written by greatpretender

This post might not make sence unless you’ve read my previous one..

I think i’m glad I didn’t look inside when his best friend was outside the apartment crying. The neighbor did… But something in my head said “don’t look in there, you don’t need to see. You know what happened, don’t be stupid and make the pain worse..”…. I kinds wish I looked…. Just to see how he died rather than just imagining and repeating the horror story his friend told me…… When we were standing outside as the investigatirs were taking the pictures and such, Roberts friend that witnessed his death broke the […]

5/3/2013 0 comment

Confused

by morto_ben 4/27/2013

written by morto_ben

Hi, I just registered here half an hour ago maybe more, I forgot!

Anyways, here is the scenario of my life –>I am confused about myself and my sexuality.

Though I know I’veÂ fancied guys and a few girls too.Â There’s always that feeling that I want to be in a relationship (in my case its more likely with a guy), that I want to love and be loved. The hard part is that I cannot express how I feel with a guy without him hating me for what I am or what I think of myself.

There’s this other thing where I bottle things up which conflicts with my […]

4/27/2013 2 comments

Trust no one

by DawgMom 4/27/2013

written by DawgMom

I don’t know about other people but I think a lot go through that phase where we really want to talk about death. About suicide. And, like a lot of them we find that most people will flip out. I had one very close friend yell at me and try and make me feel guilty. My therapist – to cover her ass – called the police. As if they could do anything. As if I would admit to them my plans. And, when I tried to call mytherapist about it – because she was so Goddamned concerned – she wouldn’t take my call.

So, now I […]

4/27/2013 6 comments

by minustwo 4/26/2013

written by minustwo

For the past four years I have sporadically found myself glancing at the final option, and for the last four years I have always immediately retreated from the idea, felt I was foolish to even have considered it. Last week I woke up and took a long look at it. Might not so be terrible. No more collecting shattered expectations. No more painting on a smile. No more cursing the God who created me. It’s starting to sound rather pleasant. Nothingness, not even silence. It would be nice.

4/26/2013 2 comments

what i feel almost everyday

by I_suffer_in_silence 4/19/2013

written by I_suffer_in_silence

i feel useless to this world. im not good enough for anyone or anything. i suck at everything i do and i’ll just be a failure the rest of my life. im ugly, stupid and an annoying ***** who needs to die. i’ll never be the pretty one, i’ll never succeed. my mind is all fucked up with suicidal thoughts and im not the person who i was before.Â now i just wanna die and escape this pain. what reason do i have to still be here if no one loves me, the only thing i’ll do is cryÂ myself to sleep, self-harm, and hate […]

4/19/2013 1 comment

The Fourth Word was “Death”

by Nathaniel_Morisawa 4/17/2013

written by Nathaniel_Morisawa

The drive and the will have already been established. The only thing that remains now is to write out the truth andÂ buy a gun. As soon as I get a place of my own, I can basically consider the both of those done and done.Â Funny… I never thought I would come back to this point, but never say “never,” I guess? To have dreams and ambitions wasn’t enough, I guess. At any rate, it’s good that I finally found out why I’ve beenÂ alone so long. The answer wasÂ right in front of me.Â Why now? Why couldn’t it have been sooner?

I wish I lived in a world […]

4/17/2013 0 comment

Newer Posts

Older Posts