I am the youngest in my family. I’m not close to anyone in my family except my brother (1 year age difference). When I was born I had two older (half) sisters who were about 8 and 6. I remember getting blamed for everything. They used to frame me and nobody ever believed that I was truly innocent. Even now, when they’re young-adults and no longer live here, I get blamed for anything bad happening in my parents life. I guess it’s easy to blame me. My father has a horrible temper and my mother has a personality of a mean school girl. This is […]
See that little girl? Her names Avery. She’s my baby sister. She’s my biggest reason for living. I absolutely dread the day that she starts thinking for herself. As soon as that happens, my father will abandon her just like the rest of us. All 8 of us. She is the epitome of innocence and love and I can only hope that her mother comes to her senses and leaves my dad. She was a good parent to the 3 kids she had before they got […]
1. To not hurt my mother and sister.
2. To not abandon my dogs.
3. ?
Can’t find it.
Just one more day before I can stop worrying about school for a full week. I’m going to go visit some family, which is weird considering the fact that my relationships with them are….strained (for lack of a better word) at the best, and potentially homicidal at the worst. You may think I’m exaggerating, but my brother has attempted to kill me on several occasions. Pretty much the only reason I’m going is to visit my youngest sister, the only family member I have that I really consider family. Seeing everyone else is going to suck, though. I’m just trading the stress of school for […]
Mom had decided to divorce dad right after my sister was born. Didn’t do it, went back and had me, that’s when the fights began. Okay, decided to enter schizophrenia and Dad was too desperate to see the future believing life was so much fun. At 27, with a painless method at hand, I realise they are both being held by their children from dying. So we never had parents. I feel like I’m holding them alive at gunpoint, not fair, since they’re vehemently against it, they don’t even want me to earn, although my not having a job adds to it. So since my […]
So my mum is learning to drive (yeah, kinda late). Instead of feeling proud, I can only think that she will have an accident as soon as she gets the license.
Today a plane departing from Barcelona to Germany crashed… I knew that the odds of someone that I know being in the plane were minimal, but I’ve been all the day thinking about my friends living in Germany. What if they came home this weekend and they were in the plane going back there?
What if my sister kills herself? What if I walk the dogs and they eat something poisoned? What if that person, or […]
I used to come on to this site kind of frequently a while ago, but I’ve spent the last couple of years without internet and kind of homeless for a large part of it, so I haven’t gotten a good rant out in a long time. There’s your warning to skip, ’cause here it goes.
I was born premature from a very stressful pregnancy, my mom actually went into labor upon finding out my dad was cheating. My earliest memories are of my dad getting me drunk as a fucking kid and kicking the shit out of me. Even worse than him doing it was when […]
I am going to tell my life story up to today. There is a point to this, so just bear through all of this. I promise, it may be worth reading. I’ve been familiar with sad things for my whole life. When I was five, my mom kicked my dad out because he was an alcoholic and a drug user; he also treated her very badly. I remember seeing him occasionally after that. I didn’t realize what my dad was into until I was much older, where I grew up watching him drink and abuse his girlfriend. In 2nd grade, a man moved in with […]
I’m starting to think that is not fair that I have to live with all this pain and anxiety just because of not hurting my mum and sister by killing myself.
So now I’m really afraid.
I study, or used to, Psichology. I rationally understand what’s going on with me. I know that it must eventually pass. That’s what I keep telling myself. But it just doesn’t feel like it will actually get better.
Some days ago, one of my sister’s friend lost her father by suicide. My sister begged me to never do the same.
When my mums boyfriend commited suicide a year ago, his own son came […]
Hello. My name is Amber and I am 19 years young. This is my story.
I lay here awake. Awake at all hours of the day and night. I have no responsibilities, no job, no school. Sounds ideal right? But nothing close. I feel like an empty human figure, wasting away within my four room walls. Curtains hanging over the windows allowing minimum light to catch my skin.
I have no friends. I have little family. The family that I do have like my grama, my aunt, and sister would all be devastated. I can’t speak for my mother or father though. My parents divorced when […]
Where do i start well first and most importantly i love my family but sometimes i feel they dont love me back.I have been having these thoughts for a while now,everything in my life is just gone wrong.For one i cant find a girlfriend but that’s mostly because deep down inside im really afraid of rejection.My sister is on dyalisis and needs a kidney,so me and my mother take of her together because my sisters father was deported a while ago and he has never took care […]
pettiness is starting to upset me more. like i know suffering isn’t a fucking competition or whatever, but it’s one of those things where its like oh your sister didn’t get you the bag you wanted for your birthday? yeah, well my sister fucking kicked me in the stomach so god damn hard i had to lay on the floor for 30 minutes and keep in my fucking pain and all i got from my god damn mother was a ‘im sorry. you’re doing a great job’ as if im doing a great job being my sister’s fucking punching bag. or like when girls complain […]
And again I’m crying like a child.
My mother and my sister both asked for my help at the same time. I can’t be in two places. They don’t seem to understand.
I left my only hobby, the only moment of the week when I see people and do something I like, because every week I had to pick up my sister from the train at that hour. Just too tired to argue with her.
I study in a online university, just to have time to work and pay for my degree. But I have to work in my mother’s shop for free so we don’t have to […]
Since I was 8 years old I started to selfharm..when I was 11 I became suicidal. I’m 16, almost 17, and I’ve developed several mental illnesses throughout my life. I’ve tried getting professional help but it’s never gone well. I’ve tried talking to my mom about it but she says I just want attention, so i’ve kept it for so long. I though of several ways to take my life…from overdose, to hitting a vein, anything really. What’s kept me from doing it is my youngest sister. I take care of her every day and she’s so attached to me.. i don’t ever want her […]
So my sister found my account in some forum. Yesterday. My mother just told me some minutes ago.
They have been all this two days reading at my personal stuff. Things I’ve never said to them. My feelings, my private life. My sexual orientation doubts, my problems with friends, my problems with my father. All the things I’ve said about them. Also good stuff. When I met that girl. That night with that boy. Big parties with lots of alcohol, and those with something else. How they ended. Everything. I’ve been writing there since I was 17. Now I’m 25. Just imagine.
So, if I didn’t have […]
Last summer, I was at a camp and one day I was really upset. My friends kept knocking on my door but I didn’t answer because I didn’t want to speak with them. After about 10 minutes, the counselor came knocking and I opened the door. To sum things up about the 6 hours after that, they thought I was attempting to kill myself. It was 6 hours of interviews, crying and honestly, a lot of people thought I had died. I told them people had misinterpreted the things I wrote in my notebook, the things I said and this one event. They believed me. […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SGDHfcZVOg
Here, it’s his little brother and sister but it could be your mom, your dad, your friend, your husband or your wife. I know how hard life can be and how desesperate a person can be but what you’ve heard on this video is the reason why I’m still staying in this shitty world. A suicide is the most personal of all things and you don’t need to involve other peoples, peoples you love. I’m not trying to stop you but just remember that even if you’re dead, the world still spining and on it, you will be nothing but a dead body and I don’t think […]
Last week I went on vacation with my siblings, and there were some fun parts definitely. But overall it just made me realize once again how high the tensions between me and the rest of my family are. My brother thinks I’m weird and (possibly) a freak, but he usually doesn’t show it intentionally. My one sister tries to be as nice as possible towards me, cause she is a kind soul. My other sister was annoyed the whole trip for some reason, and when she’s like that she usually lets her anger out on other people, i.e. me. It’s basically just because she’s mad, […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Cry-Little-Sister2.mp3
by: seasons after
cry little sister cover
Ive thought about it long and hard! I have this plan running away!! killing myself!! Should i? let me explain!
Age 9-I was taken away from my dad and moved to Ohio
House 1- My mom sister(Aunt) It was horrid..My cousin took a knife to my throut and i got beat for it, that was the last day i was there.
House 2- was my other aunts house and we got in a huge fight and she moved out.. we sleft on the floor all through christmas and for my 10 birthday
House 3- An apartment with just me and my mom, i was left home alot, she worked […]