I say hi
So do you
But that is all
That we ever do
I wanna do more
But I’m falling
Spiral-descending
Down to the floor
You say goodbye
I’ll just leave
Like the passing breeze
Though I wanna talk
All that comes out
Is a squawk
Tag:
So
I want to ask but the words won’t come out.
You make me choose between you two.
What do you expect to a child who don’t want to lose both?
I want to help but I can’t. If I did, he’ll hate us and the same thing would happen. And it’ll be worse.
So, I can’t choose. All I can do is hear you out while you vent out all your pain.
But I still want to ask why is this happening to us yet the words won’t come out. And this aggression would be another wound on my body.
My Sadness makes no sense,
So, to you:
It’s unacceptable.
It’s selfish,
It’s not okay.
My Sadness comes from failure:
Failure to satisfy you,
The world,
Myself.
I fear failure and so I fall.
My Sadness hides in shadows
Behind smiles,
Behind bravado,
Behind happiness –
I’m not allowed this Sadness.
My Sadness crushes my windpipe.
I’m drowning,
Sinking,
Dying slowly
Smiling all the while.
My Sadness is forbidden
So I sneak it
In the dark,
Round the corner,
On my own.
My Sadness isn’t a weapon
To use against you,
I hate the Sadness.
Just like you
I’m sorry
I began to cut again . Six fucking months clean . I didn’t realize how much better it makes me feel. What led me to start again, well the numbness I feel inside, I want to feel something. I fucking hate it here and the constant reminder of how I am no good or that I Should kill myself. My friends always say they will there for me but when I need them where are they to be found ? So that is why i say fuck everyone and fuck and fuck what people think, i don’t want to hear it, I am sick and […]
I fell through
Down into the blue
The tide’s taking me away
I know I can’t stay
It’s been nice to know you
But I have to go too
Don’t we all?
After we’ve had a fall
And I’ve fallen too low
So now you know
The extent of my sorrow
It’s longer than tomorrow
You’ll hear me cry
Forever till I die
Hanging loose
From a noose
In the very near future I’ll be diving into nothingness. The last five years have been a misery for me; with so much potential I became a– nothing. Every year gave me a new thing to worry about. I’m sick of this. So, my plan to completely runaway and live in the ‘nowhere’ will be in full force soon. Goodbye all.
So this morning I woke up, shaking and I couldn’t breathe. In my head I was telling myself “Your okay, your okay, why are you being so dramatic?!” and I couldn’t stop shaking. Breathing became extremely hard. I couldn’t move. I felt trapped and honestly, every time I have a panic attack I feel like i’m in hell or being buried alive. It feels like I’m dying, it feels like I’m being attacked. It feels like I am going to die. It’s terrifying, and I can’t do anything about it.
You complete me, T
I want to fill your ass with semen in it’s entire T.
Yes you inspire me, perhaps it’s your sensuali T.
Yes, you will see, it’s your oppourtuni T,
I need to embrace thee. There is no shame in modes T,
I need to say what is true to me. You are the pinnacle of sexuali T.
I will be your tree, anchored with roots of stabili T.
Whether you are he or she, I will stay by you for eterni T.
I love you to the the 3rd degree, and all of your ecentrici T
So come let’s be free from the restraints of socie T
Live with me in […]
I can’t stand it anymore. Seconds feel like hours, minutes like days. This microwave dinner just wont cook fast enough. What can I do? In need of serious help people.
Havent slept in days havent showered in days. Feeling completely inhuman. No water on the property for over a week, and once again I’m withdrawing so I cant sleep. On top of it all I’m hungry as fuck with no money cause I spent it all on drugs and got jacked 100 bux. I ate a fucking dog biscuit yesterday, and it didnt even taste bad. Wtf? Just need to make it three more days till payday. Damn. I know I can do it, but……..damn.
So, does the question remain
Ah, sweet melody
I need to study, to talk about my life
So we can put the puzzle together
The daredevil night, my heart sinks at the bottom
I will do that needs to be done
To maybe someday, you’ll see
Falling down to be
My heart sinks to the bottom
Like the raining sky
I will go far away, and bring everything back
The music is not over
Permaculture
Little brother and Minotaur
And my best friend, his name, is Mecton
And he’s got two Pythons and likes candy and he’s my homie
Walking back together, thrashed by the […]
I don’t think I will ever be happy. A meaningful life is not within my grasp. There is no version of me from this point that can get there. No version that can be content with how things are, or feel at peace.
I still have hope, but it’s irrational hope. It’s constantly smacking it’s head against the logical reality of who I am, and how I’ve lived, and it’s painful. It would be better for me to let it go. But if I do that, what else is left?
So what am I doing here? I’m suffering. Either I’m stressed out from work, or exhausted, or […]
Silence is my insanity,
Mother, Mother, stop beating me.
Silence is my laughter,
Father, Father, don’t slaughter her.
We all make mistakes, We all make mistakes,
Stop all this madness and remove all the breaks.
Silence is my sanity,
So why won’t it help me?
My life has finally come crashing down once again. So much has happened in the last 48hrs, too much to handle, and it’s too late to fix anything. I feel so overwhelmed right now. I fucked up. In so so many ways I have fucked up. 48hrs is so short, but trust me, I’m too late.
I wonder how far in desperation I’ve fallen to resort to this online community to vent my feelings.
I’ve looked up many ways to cope with depression and anxiety, but everything just sounds so fake and cliche..
Things like “don’t give up hope”, “relax your mind”, etc.. Am I the only one who thinks this way?
I can never take advice like this.. it’s sooooooo cliche and shows no compassion whatsoever.. well what do I expect.. I was just one WebMD for this shit.
How do I even cope with this misery? And why can I never like myself and forgive myself?…
I don’t know where to start.
I was chronically suicidal in high school, and even attempted it several times. Then, sometime in my early adulthood, I fell in love for the first time and stopped feeling that way. Now I’m almost 30 and I’m back to square one. I’ve been single for years, have gotten more and more depressed over the years, and finally I’ve come to the point where I’m seriously contemplating ending my life.
I’m a gay man. I’ve never really felt comfortable with the idea of being gay. I don’t relate to gay culture in any way, shape or form, and I’m not even […]
I’m 20 and in my second year of varsity. I have a history of cutting myself and have tried to kill myself a few times, putting myself in hospital once. After a lot of effort and the help of my boyfriend I was able to move past it and break the habit. But now he and I are having a really rough patch. We have nothing in common. He’s Mr Logic while I’m immensely emotional. He doesn’t make me feel wanted or special. It feels like he looks down on me a lot. I’m not even sure if I still love him any more. My […]
I must pick up the pieces
And Put them together
Make sure all the cracks are concealed
So they stay out of sight
The audience must be pleased
Even if I’m not at ease
You know, depression is one frustrating thing. After you’ve been so good for such a long time you start to think you’ve beaten it and that’s that.
Like a cold that had finally decided it was time to leave.
But when you finally let your guard down and try to forget about all those depressed time, it decides to come back and feed on your positive life force.
Can I just have the cold instead please? Haha
I just don’t understand why it has to hide in my shadow, acting like molasses and weighing me down when I try to move forward. “Oh, hey there depression. […]
When they asked me if you called me on my birthday, I sad yes, cause I knew that if I told them that you didn’t, they would “hate” you and I don’t want that. They don’t have the rights to hate you, I mean you have not do something bad, hurtful and evil to them. So, the only one who would hate you, would be me. Cause all the things you do to me are pure evil, and still I can’t create the feeling of hate towards you. I think of it, but I don’t feel it. My mouth say it but my heart and […]