Ever had someone laugh in your face for trusting them? I never trust myself or my own judgement because my head is so fucked. Someone convinced me to give them a chance and that I was being irrational which is normally the case. Well tonight they literally laughed because I trusted their intentions and settled for less. I feel so stupid and so used and I am just trying to survive when I would rather be dead. I have prayed for death for so long and tried to kill myself several times. Why do I set myself up for heartbreak. I am not important to […]
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I’m gunna be straight forward and say I’ve never attempted suicide. I’ve thought about it many times, but never tried. The main reason I haven’t is because I’m scared. Everything in my life has been determined through safety. I’m scared of almost everything. I scared to let people in, to talk to people, to do something wrong, to look stupid, or to let people down (just to name a few). My parents constantly fight and I go most days without having a real conversation with anyone. My friends and family all have this expectation of how they feel I should be. Which is smiling, happy, quiet, […]
I’m sick and tired of never being ‘that person’. I’m always the ‘extra’, the girl there, the invisible one, the girl that came with someone, the un-existing. I hate myself for that, but I can’t show me as I am with everybody… I believe I’m too weird. I guess it must be that because everybody says that I’m hard to talk to. That I don’t think like everybody, that I’m weird. An outsider. I want someone to care. I want someone to come over and say hey! let’s talk; instead of: Is she your friend? Can you help me with her? I fucking hate my […]
I’ll stop trying to get close to anyone. I’ll stop trying to fit in. I’ll stop trying to find someone to stay by my side.
I can’t forget you. I keep hearing you whispering in my ears. Whenever I close my eyes, I still see you. I can’t accept anyone because I still remember you. What is the point of me trying to find someone else to stay with me, when I myself keep rejecting them? Why would I hope to find someone, if I know in the end I will leave them because they are not you? Why the hell would I pretend […]
the lawn seems empty
the sky looks clear
the imminent danger
seems no where near
someone steps out
gun in hand
somebody runs
somebody stands
no one seems phased
he loads the gun
why do they walk
why don’t they run?
the sky turns red
and so does the road
somebody screams
as the blood starts to flow
the laws have crumbled
it’s a free for all
black is the trend
and decency falls
corpses lay mangled
in allies and streets
laying in stacks
and on the concrete
hanging from streetlights
and hanging from trees
nobody cares
as long as they bleed
if someone’s not hanging
they’re hanging others
from children and […]
I’ve decided it. I’m going to die. I have a bottle of pills right here beside me. I just wanted to let somebody know. So that I wouldn’t be alone. Not more than I already am, anyway. I thought about posting on Facebook, but I wouldn’t want the two people who would actually see it to worry.
I suppose while I’m at it I might as well tell my story. Don’t worry, it won’t take very long. I’m 16 years old and female. My name is Lucy. I was born on April 18, 1998. To think at that moment in time I had no problems in life. […]
When you know someone’s true colors and everyone else thinks their such an amazing person who can do no wrong.
No, but get on their bad side after investing your all and they’ll drop you like they never knew you.
“I’ve walked through this life never having the intention to hurt anyone or to anger anyone. I’ve walked through this life trying to make friends, not enimies. I’ve always tried to put a smile on everyone’s face so they will never have to know the pain and suffering I went through. I went through this life thinking that if I seen someone that looked like they were going through what I was, I’d do anything to make their day better. Because I believed that I should do more good in this world than the evil I have done. I feel like I accomplished that. There […]
Honest question, one I’ve never had the guts to ask, but I feel like it’s safe to ask here. I grew up ugly, emotionally abused and neglected. It’s all I knew, and every bit of good I did ( raising my sister, joining the Coast Guard, being a good friend no matter what it cost me) was in spite of where and what I came from, not because of it. And I’m tried of fighting against everything I was raised in, just to be a good person. It takes all of my effort just to be normal, and sometimes it doesn’t feel like its worth it. […]
Someone who I loved an.d cared about very deeply promised me we would be together and start a family. He wanted me to prove I was serious about him by having my IUD removed. After going back and forth on the decision,I finally decided this was the commitment I wanted to make and I was ready. so after I had it removed he started acting uninterested in me. He said he was going through a lot and needed his space. I never could get in touch with him after that other than some hurriedn conversations . I even asked him flat out if he was […]
i know ppl dont care, but its nice when theY pretend to. they let me get close to them, thinking i could trust them, but than as soon as i do one little thing wrong, they turn their backs on me. I honestly couldnt care, i realized i havent talked to anyone in 2 days straight, and for once i felt better about myself. But than my supposedly “best friend” calls me a conceited *****. just because i dont want to talk. i only did this for me…… and the one time i do something for myself, im a selfish slut? like seriously what the […]
Hi, first time here. English is not my native tongue, so sorry for eventual grammar errors.
I’m just sick of everything. And this is not that old, teenage “everythnig sucks, I’m going to kill myself”. No. I’m goddamned 30 years old and everything sucks and If I could, I would kill myself. But I can’t, It’s just my body reflex to not kill myself even if I really wanted it to. And actually, I don’t want to kill myself but I really don’t see any other option for me. Either that or to feel like shit for decades to come.
So, I’m 30 years old, male, living […]
Is it possible for someone who has shown no emotion for the past 17 years to show emotion again? I’ve kept my feeling balled up for so long and only concentrated on depression and hate. I hated that some of the best people I knew were killing themselves to escape reality. Why can’t i do the same? Some of me has the want, the dreams, the desire to end it all. But there is a very small an vague side that just won’t allow me to. How long can this side stay strong before the darkness rolls through like a tornado an rips apart the […]
So I know I have been posting things like this a lot lately. But yesterday I finally pushed the one person that was really holding me around. I told her that we can’t be friends anymore or can’t date or nothing. I know a lot of you will say why would you push someone away like this or do something like that. Well I don’t want her to take blame for if or when I do this. I don’t want her to hold the fault for the rest of her life. Cuz it’s not her fault and she should never take the blame. And I […]
Does anyone else agree that when someone says suicide is a cowardly thing? I feel that if your in the position your in and few the way you feel, you way the facts and think about everything. I feel it’s actually a very hard thing to do. And another thing is. How do you feel when you final have the power to talk to someone close to you and ask for help, but all they say is I can’t talk to you anymore if your going to do that cuz I don’t want to be apart of it. I feel that is that person truly […]
It started when I moved schools. I thought this would be a fresh start but one of my old best friends decided to ruin it since I was “taking her place”. She told the entire school I sent this boy nudes and that I stalked the most popular boy in our grade who was my guy best friend. Then to make it even worse she told my group “the populars” who excepted me and took me in that I called the head volleyball player in our school fat for no reason. I got home from gymnatics and had no idea this had even happend yet […]
If you read this pleaaase comment please. I need someone to talk to. Badly please help me
Hi,
My name’s D.J. I suppose you could say I’m depressed, I mean not a day goes by that I don’t think about killing myself. In fact the only reason I haven’t is because I can’t be 100% sure that I will die.
Imagine hating life and yourself so much that you want to kill yourself. Then when you finally try- thinking that you can finally be happy about something- you wake back up. And have to live with the consequences of failing to kill yourself. That’s one of my biggest fears.
Everyday I can find several consequences of killing myself […]
I’m trying to cut ties from those who are trying to get close to me. I already have many relatives to mourn for me, but I’d rather not bring outsiders heartache when I free myself. It sounds selfish and heartless, but the pain I feel in my heart gets heavier each passing day. It makes more sense to isolate this pain in one specific group rather than have it explode out of proportion, even though that may happen anyway.
I live alone in my mind with my demons and I’m doing a pretty good job keeping them entertained. They shouldn’t know about these inhabitants, they will […]