How to start,while my hands are shaking and i finally made myself cry after a long time of trying to be strong and keep it all inside me. It sounds like another lame and pathetic story about how misunderstood someone can be. Honestly i had my moments of searching for attention but this time i just want revenge. I promise this will be my last selfish act towards everyone i know. I really wanted to make everything right again but when my own mother says that i am naive and stupid how am i supposed to feel about myself, how i am i supposed to […]
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Sounds
but everyone I think that is suicidal or depressed, should listen to famous last word by my chemical romance. Mcr have got me through so much. But this song is special because of the lyrics, I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone. That song has gotten me through very hard times when I wanted to just end it and be reunited with my mom. So every one who feels depressed or suicidal should listen to that song. If not for you than for me. Please
It sounds weird, but I’ve been in a way, staking your profile on here since you sent me your first post. That’s how much I care. Why? Because if you DO do it, I don’t want to learn from some depressing story on the news. Either way it wouldn’t be any fun… Maybe it’s because I don’t want another Aunt Cheri. Well, that’s actually one reason… Another reason? Because you are my closest friend. Even though I’ve only seen you in person twice, you are the only one that knows about 90% of my secrets. I just wish you would tell me when you want […]
I feel like that again. Like all I can do is cry. And be depressed. And hate myself. My tears feel like razor blades. My heart aches. Yet again, I’m not who I seem to be. I’m empty. I’m scared… I want to be gone, so no one has to deal with the pathetic excuse for a person that I am. And so I can be done with this. Disgust is the only thing I see in myself. I’m the one who made myself like this. And there is no way to fix me. I depend on pills to keep me alive, to numb my […]
Okay it’s me again and I’m feeling really stupid for bothering you with every wee thing, but I just really can’t cope atm. I have this problem: I tell the people that hurt me, my parents, those who’ve abused me all my life and who made me the wreck I am, everything about my feelings. I know that’s not smart, but usually soon after they’ve managed to bring me down enough so that I’m in a state of depression and anxiety, they’ ll want to ” talk” about it and they’ll even tell me they’re sorry, and especially in my Dad’s case that he ” […]
About seven or eight year ago I moved to the UK with my grand mum. She’s great. The best I could have. Unfortunately I can’t say the same about my mum. Don’t get me wrong, I love her too, but there’s certain things about her I can’t forgive. One is the fact that she’d rather be a WOMAN than a MUM. It sounds quite strange doesn’t it? What I mean to say is that she’d rather be with her partner than with her children. It’s not AS horrible as it sounds, but it is rather bad. My mum and my brothers, they stayed back at […]
I am fucked. It s not that I realized that just now but maybe at this moment i am completely aware of my state. i am partly proud because i am not trying to kill myself at least not today. it kind of hurts when you can’t change the fact that you don’t have anyone around you except your parents which are currently not here. i know this sounds pathetic but i really wish i have somebody who loves me for me, somebody who would hug me without me asking for it. i am at a really bad state now and i would like to […]
When I am somehow surprised that I am living with a control freak narcissistic person and that I will be hurt repeatedly until I find a better life
When I ignore for too long what matters to me, what feels good even if I can’t feel it at the moment
When I don’t make a plan, a strategy to try consistently to get someplace better than I am now
Forget there is more compassion in the world than I experience at home or have ever at home …OK so there is less also but mostly there is more because the human race would not have survived this friggen […]
My ex-boyfriend committed suicide in 2010. I met my husband in 2011, and we got married a few months later. Everything was really great, and still is most of the time. A few months after we got married, he started getting really upset over my ex and his suicide. (He and I had 3 children together by the way.)   He gets REALLY, REALLY mad if he finds any old pictures of my kids dad… to the point of him ripping them up and throwing them away. He always asks me if I loved him, and if I miss him.
It is REALLY emotionally stressful.  Anytime he brings it up, […]
I think I may have a Highly sensitive personality.
I have severe social anxiety, ADD. And I get easily overstimulated.
Do these sound like characteristics of the HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON?:
I have acute hearing, I get startled VERY easily over the littlest sounds, even when I am anticipating them. and I think I am sensitive to light(i wear glasses) I am a very picky eater, and dont eat much I like odd foods. I think this is because I may be a supertaster? I think I am sensitive to pain. When I have a hot beverage, it takes forever for it to be cool enough to drink, […]
I want to leave this world and go the way my son took. He took ******** and it sounds most painless. I hope I will see him again soon -I miss him and need to know why.
I want to disappear. I don’t think I want to die as such, I just don’t want to exist, either.
That’s it really, I just don’t want to exist anymore. If I could just flick a switch and not be here anymore, I would. I would do it straight away, no questions asked. I suppose that switch is basically a permanent one, a switch of life or death.
That’s the thing though, I’m unsure whether it’s suicide I want. I want to not be here but I don’t want to be dead.
So am I suicidal? Is it suicidal to just want to disappear?
I hate the word ‘suicide’, […]
I can say what’s gone wrong in my life. But feeling depressed has been normal since I was very young. I can’t really remember what started everything but I remember being bullied from age five up until I was sixteen. Sounds pretty sad, not one year of school where I wasn’t bullied and alienated. My parents when I was young, was well great. It’s just my Dad’s temper got worse when my half-sister became a druggie. Heroin, Coke, you name it, the police found it. She would steal from my parents and wouldn’t know me. Got pregnant a few times by druggies and drug dealers. […]
So, I’ve set the date on the 31st of January. I thought that it would give me ample time to do the things I still want to do like play, watch, eat, etc.  However, I ran into a little snag that surprised me. I’m running out of cash, and thus, I probably have a two or three days worth of takeout left. So annoying. Of course, I could always go out to the cash machine down the street, but get real. I’m a recluse who hasn’t set foot outside my flat for months. I haven’t even taken out five months worth of garbage, so you can […]
Well I’m not sure how much more I can take. The feelings of everyone person hating me for anything is hurting so bad that it feels like I can’t even breathe. The verbal abuse at home and at work is just to much. I know that sounds stupid but it’s constant all day every day. The one person I thought would always be there for me is starting to think I want to stay and live with it. But that’s not true I just don’t have anywhere to go and to think about trying to live with her would be to much on her. When […]
Ok I read here a lot and have posted here when I have been feeling way off he planet, which is increasing often now. I feel “ok” right now. But there are some things I want to know.
1st this is how it is:
Not always but in the mornings when I wake up can feel like a light switch in my brain has been switched off.    Feels/sounds like dousing a match in water like. Like waking up and then just deflating (Always Followed by nonfunctional bad days)
Generally allways being “aware” that im sad / horrible / hurting all the time. Not fitting in.( I would […]
I’ve never been the type to ask for help. I am a very independent person, who likes to do everything on my own.
I cry out for help in my own way. But no one is lisenting. My brother usualy hears the crys but he’s been working a lot lately. My mom just seems to ignore them. She just seems to care more about her friends then her own daughter.
I know she can’t be stupid. I’m falling back into my same ruotine. I never eat. And when I do I get sick right after. I sleep A LOT. I don’t only sleep cuz I’m coming down […]
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