I’m starting to really think that it would just be so much better if I was gone. I don’t have anyone, really. I mean, I guess I might, but that’s not the point of anything. I don’t care that I have no friends. That has nothing to do with why I want to end my life. I don’t know what it is. I can’t seem to figure out what has caused all of this, it started a few years ago and I thought it had gone away. I did and I was happy. Actually god damn happy, or so I thought. But, now that I […]
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Stomach
I just registered for this site, like, literally five minutes ago, and I must say, I’m still a little overwhelmed that a website like this even exists (in a good way(I think)).
I guess I’ll just say it… approximately eight months ago, I tried to kill myself.
I’ve been struggling with severe clinical depression since I was 8 years old. The fact that I was considered a social pariah at school didn’t help matters. I have a recorded IQ of 145, but I was failing almost every class. I was capable of getting a 4.0, but I ended up graduating with a 2.6. I just stopped caring. […]
It has come to the point where I am about to give up! no one loves me or needs me! The one person I actually loved and thought loved me and cared, just leaves me 🙁 I was never meant to be here! never meant to live! I cant handle life anymore! It is bad enough! Being diagnosed with 2 types of cancer in 2 months and my half sister has cancer! I have no point in staying here, there is no reason to live through all this pain! My heart feels like it was punched and now its hurt, bleeding, and in pain in […]
I guess I’m suicidal. My stomach churns just putting that label next to my name. I think about it all the time. I think about all the things wrong. I get sucked into that black hole where you just keep going down and down. And then I find myself on facebook in an immature poke-battle with one of my best friends (who I also happen to have been hopelessly in love with for years) and I can’t wipe the smile off my face as I watch the notification pop up again and again. A real smile, not the stupid fake one I plaster on my […]
I’m 17 to start off with. My parents are divorced and my mom remarried. I am depressed. I don’t really “cut” or anything. Though, I don’t stop from letting an accident happen if it would hurt and make it bleed out. I could most of the time, but I just don’t. I kind of just get really relaxed when something like that happens. It’s proly not good, but oh well. I have ODed once not too long ago and was sick for like four days. I didn’t think of anything though I did feel like shit. It was my fault I did though. I thought […]
Dena does know about all the times I’ve cut myself, and all the times I’ve tried to kill myself. She’s drilled into my head that she loves me,and life is worth something. I hope all of you know you have something or someone to live for.
So the drugs have worn off. My stomach still gets nautiated when I move too much and I have a really bad head ache after I eat. But I am acting more like myself now. Faking smiles and laughts as usual. Well, untill everybody goes to bed anyways. Now I am back to thinking of ways to kill myself without it looking like I did it or pin anyone else on killing me. I don’t want to hurt anyone :/
I almost broke up with my boyfriend today. Ha never even texted me. I’m tired of always being the one to text first. He can […]
As I sit here trying to write what is so called my life, it is hard to not have suicidial thoughts…
It all started since I was 8 years old. I don’t know why then but I remember one night my brother and I were in the kitchen while my drunk dad and my mom went to the store because my dad demanded more beer. I went to the kitchen sink and grabbed a knife and put it towards my stomach I told him I wanted to die! He took it away from me. After that, it did not happen again.
Recently my ex-fiance from almost 3 […]
In 1998, I decided I no longer wished to live…all because of some man who I loved who did not love me back. I think a part of me wanted to live and just wanted to cry out for help. The reason I say this is because I was on the phone talking with a crisis councelor telling him I was about to kill myself. He asked me where I live and I refused to tell him. I didn’t know he could trace the whereabouts of my call but, I am glad he did. I took this bottle of Klonopin…1 mg a tablet and swallowed […]
Because I’m not the one that wants to end my life. My Girlfriend just called me 20 minutes ago and said she was getting ready to jump off a local bridge thats about 120 ft high. She hasnt picked up the phone since that call. I only hope she was bluffing, but she has brought this up more and more over the last few monthes, including one failed attempt with Valium where I had to take her to the hostpital and have her stomach pumped. When they told her they were going to put her in a phychriatric ward she flipped out and had me […]
Hi my name is Madelaine and I am 19 years old. Iv been suicidal since I was about 13 years old and it just progressed from there. For 10 years I was sexually assaulted so as I started going from a little girl to a teenager my mind just soared with anger. I was bullied all through primary school and High school. I was the geek, the nerd, the one noone liked because to them I was ugly. It just kinda stuck so I think I am ugly…
My mother never accepted me. I was never good enough for her. So i just wanted to die […]
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