I can’t take this shit anymore.
I don’t even know where to start my story.
Actually, I’m not going to waste my time typing the story.
Nobody Cares
I hate my life.
I want to die.
It never gets better
Tag:
store
Last year I would cut my self every chance I got. My friends, Hunter and Laura, were the first to notice. The keeper telling me to stop but I continued. Then my teacher, Ms.Ring sent me up to my school’s conciler. She told me all the reasons why I should live. I have a brother, a sister, and so many friends. When ask me why I wanted to die. I told her about how I get called so many names, and how everyone says I get my clothing at Walmart and the doller store. Then when I go home I get called more names like […]
Honestly I’m wishing I didn’t have a reason to be on here… but I do. Im a 20 year old college graduate, but I can’t get a job in my field to save my life…. you’d think it wouldn’t be so hard. I work at a grocery store stocking shelves…. I didn’t go into debt for this. Not to mention these people make me question the ounce of sanity that I have left. I haven’t touched a blade to my skin in 9 months. That’s saying something. Of course I get my share of bruises and burns from work but its not the same. I […]
Living in tornado valley, there’s always the calm before the storm. You can try to predict it, and hide from it. You can try and move, but eventually it finds you. You can try to stay where you are, and prepare for it. Sometimes that works, and other times it’s as if it was for nothing. Stand up and swear at it, dare it to come at you head on. Dare it to swallow you whole. Does any of it even matter or make a difference. The people not in the storm front, will never understand what it’s like. So it’s futile to even try […]
Have you ever felt so ugly and unwanted, that you couldn’t leave the house? You feel as if everyone is staring at you, wondering why you look this way instead of that way. I worry about that every day, and it’s gradually getting worse. I can’t leave the house most days. I haven’t always hated my appearance, it became noticable when I began to truly notice my appearance. I’m 13, and I have alopecia. During the summer, my hair started to get noticably thinner and now it’s almost completely gone. My mother thought it’d save my confidence if we just shaved it all- which in […]
Once an addict, always an addict… right? So that’s how this works too I guess. I want to cut so badly. I’ll have to go to the store to get some blades and replenish my selection. Seeing my thoughts written down makes me feel like throwing up. Good thing I’m too high to care
I started cutting again. Got loads of blades now. I shouldn’t have gotten anything, shouldn’t have been weak.
Its nights like these that I really fucking miss what we had. Holy shit we clicked like I never had with anyone else. I miss laying bed with you watching anime or some other lame ass shit on your lap top. Then making trips at 1 am to the store and picking up $40 worth of junk food. I wonder if you give a shit all the time. That maybe if I gave you a call or a text maybe we could try again. I know that will never happen, but it feels good thinking about it. Sometimes I wish I didnt have these memories […]
So, after being off for two days, coming back to work was really nice. After about an hour of actually laughing and joking around, we hear this noise. My ex walks down the entire row of checkstands, through the lobby and stands in the middle of the entryway to the store, crying. Not your usual, sniff sniff, cry. Oh no. I’m talking about wailing. Like a two year old who got decided to throw a tantrum. Â Everyone in the store stops and stares. Everyone but me. I start giggling. Then I realize its not a good idea so I try to make myself shut up. […]
Why the FUCK can’t my ex leave me alone? I check my cell after work to see if my mom called, and saw a voicemail. Naturally I thought it was my mom, calling to tell me that she was already there, waiting to pick me up. Nope. It was fucking Alex. This time he kept how he loved me, and he’s sorry for leaving me when I was ready to kill myself that night, and how he’s sorry for calling me a ***** ass ****. Then he started saying he loved me, and how it’s hard for him, and how he thought he should apologize […]
I’m sitting here listening to my mother and grandparents babble about all the bad news going on in the world.
I already woke up with an anxiety attack which is now turning into anger, and I have to have a clear mind so I drive to the store later and then to the crazy doctor. Really I just want to throw my cup of coffee against the room and punch a few holes in the wall and tell everyone in the kitchen to shut the hell up.
Just fuck man. Am I crazy?
It is 11:21 pm where I am. I know we’re all scattered all over the place so we don’t have the same time zones but…
Goodnight to those about to sleep or sleeping. I hope you all have wonderful dreams and if reality is not good, that your dreams take you as far from it. Sleep well too. I hope tomorrow would offer something better for you.
Good day to the others wide awake. I hope you get by your school, work, etc. alright. Be careful and similarly, I hope that today would have something good in store for you.
Those might be lame or annoying but I […]
I’m kind of partial to old movies, especially Film Noir and B-horror/Sci Fi from the 40’s and 50’s. On the 9th of December Kirk Douglas will turn 98 fucking years old (if he lives that long). I hear he’s a damned lecher and a womanizer – in fact as I recall just a year or so ago he was accused of sexual assault. You would think someone with as much money, fame and fortune as he has could at least keep his shit behind closed doors – I mean (and not to be crude or crass) he could buy any elite hooker on the planet […]
so basically. today. i went shopping with my mom. she started yelling at me and telling mw how negative i am and how that’s why no one wants to be around me. i plugged in my music and blasted it ignoring her and left the store. I walked to where the second floor has a hole looking way down to the first floor. for a moment i was overcome with the urge to just jump off. it would have been so easy guys. but my mom tapped me on the shoulder and i pulled out my earplugs as she started to yell again and we […]
I’ve failed myself, once again.
Two weeks ago, I threw away my blades, and said “This time, I’m stopping”.
I didn’t cut for two weeks. I snapped bands against my wrists until my skin turned purple, and dug dents into my skin with my nails, but I didn’t cut.
I went to the store today and bought a new straight edge razor.
I cut myself.
I gave up.
I don’t think I can do this anymore…
I fucked up pretty bad today.My bag of sleeping pills are gone this means im off to the store tommorow to sell some stuff and buy more pills.Damn i feel like an addict but it must be done.And if worse comes to worse i did find my moms box cutter and i will let them taste my flesh possibly at 12:00 midnight the end of this wretched day.Or tommorrow. But i wont do it on christmas
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