So this is my first post and I don’t really know what to get out of this. I am young and some would say attractive. I have a husband, a son, and one on the way….so what is my problem? I feel selfish that I have these thoughts, these feelings. I AM AT A LOSS. I am in this losing battle. I live with my in-laws and many would say that that is my problem. They definitely play an important role in my misery. I have lived here for a year now and I can say that I actually hate them…I hate their voices and when I […]
Tag:
Stress
May 31, 2012
9:30 p.m
I feel nothing. I feel useless, dull, and dead. I want to die. I’ve thought of dying. I need help. I NEED HELP! I have so much work to do I feel like I’m drowning, I feel empty. I feel like I have no emotions, I feel lifeless, that my life has no meaning. Nobody understands, at least I don’t think so. They all say it will get better or to suck it up. I can’t suck it up; my body and mind are betraying me! I know intellectually that I need to do things but then my mind […]
I feel for all of you here. I wish I could help you all escape the misery of this awful world! It is so hard in this world. I don’t know how I’m still here! My fear of death stops me from taking my life these days but boy do I think about it every fkn day. I have tried so many times in my past, to end this misery of a life, but UNFORTUNATELY I’m still here! I don’t want to be here anymore! Since childhood, I have tried to hold onto just the smallest amount of hope,that one day things will get better, […]
k, lately things have been horrible. i got contact with this one guy again who has been helping me through everything and AtTheEnd im so sorry everything i said i had no right too and i know its impossible to forgive me then my sister has been causing me so much stress with hittin, punching, biting, and choking me, i have been so fucking stress and this is where i must be crazy i was telling that guy i just contact with again bout all this and he said he doesnt want to his gf to be so sad i said im your gf? he […]
Tomorrow is my judgement day
The day I’ll see if I will live
Because finals start on Wednesday
And I’ve given all I have to give
If I fail a final I fail the class
That will be the end if that
I’ll just commit suicide
And die
Tomorrow I find out if I can take the stress
That has been building up inside me
The last time finals came around
I wound up in The Oaks
Tomorrow i find out if my best friend is going to leave me
And never speak my name again
Once again I do know
I won’t be able to take […]
first off id like to say i hate everything. I stopped taking meds and now i cant move my fucking arm cause of a stress related disorder.I couldnt walk earlier and now this. I dont know why i stopped taking it it just happened. But for some reason ive gone between super happy then super pissed and now depressed and wanting to die. No im not bipolar. Im psychotic but not schizophrenic. And Im terribly alone ive never been more alone. My two main emotions are alone and pissed off. But i have to keep cool only my close friend knows whats going on with […]
I guess I’m not quite sure what to do at this point, so I need ur input. I’m 18 years old and ever since 5th grade I’ve wanted to die…or at least I didn’t care to live. In the past few years I’ve been but into a hospital four times due to breakdowns, see I’m stuck in this cycle between life and death and I don’t think itll ever end till th day I die. I’m terrified of existing, and I have several mental Heath problems that have caused me to lose all my friends…I push them away without realizing it, but it’s only […]
I’m scared.
I have no idea what to do. I think all this stress is getting to me. I want to go back and make everything better. I think I’m getting an eating disorder. I KNOW I’m not fat, but when I look at my self, I feel disgusted. I never feel like I’m good enough. I messed up, and I can’t fix it, no matter how bad I want too. I feel like my whole world is crashing down on me. I’m sick. Mentally and physicality. I can’t take it anymore.
I have these body pains that I know aren’t normal. I don’t like going to the […]
I’m 35. Work as a mental health professional. It’s strange but all these years suicide was never something I ever contemplated in the slightest. I’ve never really been depressed. I don’t think I’m clinically depressed at the moment. Maybe burnt out and not in the best mood but by no means depressed.
Over the last few months I’ve realized that the decisions that I made to move to a new country have come with with a rash of problems that while not catastrophic have caused incredible stress, heartache, homesickness and problems advancing my career. I’m getting a feeling that some of these problems may well have […]
I’m not going to share my whole life story because I think the problems that I had or have are minor to what everyone else goes through. This fact actually makes me feel more depressed. I feel horrible for even thinking that I’m horrible and shouldn’t be alive. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’m better than anyone. In fact I hate myself. A lot.
To begin my story this is how people see me: I am to most people an always cheerful person. But that is how I get by. I try not to care and live with a smile. It worked until a […]
What will it take to show you that it’s not the life it seems (I’m not O.K)….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
I told him, about my thoughts. Naturally he didn’t want me to do it. He just surprised me with his kindness.
So… Anyway. Life is shit. Only 21 days now? sweet, I can’t fucking wait. I’m sick of this life and this family and all of the arguements. My brother is a selfish prick, my sister is a *****, My mum just fucks me off all the time… And my dad. Bless him, trying to help but really, he was just making things worse. He shouldn’t blame himself though. I have found out how to cause bruises! 😀 which is amazing as they are easy to […]
I’m sorry it had to be this way, I just can’t take it anymore. All aspects of my PTSD are taking over my life. I never smile anymore, and when I do it’s because I’m thinking of death.. I know this is going to hurt you, and i know you will all think I’m a selfish ungrateful monster, but I’m not. I just want to be set free, I want to be able to release the burden I carry, not to mention the burden I put on you with my meds, and hospitalization. Don’t think of this as a loss please, just think of how happy […]
4 years ago due to a stress induced issue during a relationship which may sound cliche but there was a large variety of issues which had piled on top of me and caused it.
i made a break attempt at well…..ending it all……obviously i cant go into details of what i did but its  a horrible thought that the only reason i woke up in hospital was because the bottle ran dry and i ran out things to swallow and i hadn’t broken the skin far enough….
Now given i was heavily inebriated when this venture occurred which didn’t help at all, i only have two memory’s from A&E firstly telling the nurse i didn’t want my family informed and […]
I don’t smoke…I never have smoked…and I never will smoke…and yet today when I couldn’t handle anything anymore I bought a pack of cigarettes and smoked one…I didn’t enjoy it…but I didn’t not enjoy it…I don’t want to be a smoker…my stress made me do something that I don’t want to do…I am breaking more and more each day.
I had an appointment to see my  psychiatrist and my mum was with me, im 15 and my psychiatrist asked my mum about our family history and after some stuff they talked, i don’t know i wasn’t concerntrating but i heard my name and i started to listen, im sitting beside my mum. and my mum said when i was 5 years old i caused her so much stress she took me to a bridge and she was going to throw me off the bridge and kill me because i cause her alot of stress and she couldn’t handle me…. but my dad saw what was […]
I cant shake these dark thoughts, suicide seems so appealing. I’ve been exposed to an incurable Virus, I’ve been getting help, finding support from others that are living with it, but i cant help but feel disgusting, like a leper. I feel dangerous, someone people should stay away from. I don’t want to have “The Talk” with anyone, I want to have a clear conscience. I don’t want the stress of giving my “gift” to someone else, I cant live with that. I cant live like this. I cant deal with the pain, the discomfort. I’m uncomfortable in my own skin, I only have ONE body, […]
No need for a name, therefore, my name will me Anonymous. I’m a 17 year old female who tries to hide away most of her emotion. I was diagnosed with depression, PTSD, mild OCD, insomnia, and possible BPD. My life is a nightmare most days. After my initial hospitalization, i started treatment, and for the most part it helped a lot. But lately, I’ve loss interest in school, isolated myself a lot, and am becoming increasingly more impulsive (I went out one day and just got a tattoo, on my wrist. So much for ever being a professional.) I have attempted suicide 5 times […]
I was with the love of my life for 6 years. We loved eachother so much, were wedding planning and never had arguments, just healthy discussions.Â
For the last year of that I became very sick. I am motion sick 24/7 for over a year. I was suicidal. My boyfriend was as strong as he could be, caring for me, but couldn’t take the suicidal thing. He cheated on me 3 times with the same girl. He said he hated it, had no interest in her and struggled to get it up everytime, it was just an escape. He stopped and started seeing a therapist. […]
I’m manic depressive, maybe borderline. There’s this girl I love very deeply, but she does and says these things to me. A small fight, and it escalates, she’s inconsolable. She’s under a lot of stress I know, and she’s a good person basically. She’s combative. I apologize, but I don’t mean it. I console her, but do a bad job. I sulk, because I can’t console her, and I’m supposed to. I feel like a piece of shit. I feel that I don’t have anybody left to open up to. If I say so she gets pissed that I feel that way. Why is she […]
to begin, i don’t even know why i’m bothering to write here. desperation, i guess.
on the internet i broke away from communities, i got involved in some pretty nasty self-detrimental whole weight issue ones and though
that whole communal thing was great ultimately it just led to health deterioration. i kind of got out of it, i mean i’m still alive.
i’ve already tried once: to do that whole self-dying thing. it didn’t work. i woke up, rolled out of bed, and went to my eight hour shift/job at the time.
continued on as if it were a normal day. i didn’t think i’d wake up, […]