At school i only have three friends which we all have different sexuality. I’m a bisexual, one of them is Pan-sexual (which if any you don’t know means doesn’t care what they are boy,girl, trans) another Asexual (no sexual attraction to anyone) and the Heterosexual (straight) and this stupid fuck up group of people keep on bullying us about it. I don’t even know how they found out! It pisses everyone off but we can’t do anything because we’re quiet shy about it so we don’t say it much. And that just makes it worst how so how they know! Also we mixed classes recently […]
Tag:
stuck
i had a dream last night
i dreamt that i had died in my sleep and my spirit was standing by my dead body.
my mom came in to wake me up for school. she kept shaking and shaking me to get up.
i tried to tell her i died but she couldnt hear me.
when she realised i had passed she started to cry and my brother came in and cried too cause my mom told him what happened.
and i felt bad for leaving them so i stayed with them forever until they died.
but i couldnt go with them because i missed my chance so i was stuck […]
I’m just so fucking stuck. No matter what I do, I’m stuck.
A little back story: my abusive boyfriend of a year and a half and I mutually split. It ended on a really, really bad note. I tend to just push it out of my mind and go numb to get over someone, which was working fine with him, until he messaged me again to try to be just friends. He knows shit like this ruins all my progress, every single time. I don’t think he cares anymore, though. I wouldn’t. I think he’s just getting a kick of dragging me along still. I don’t […]
I’m happy till I sleep. Sleeping is my struggle.. Is my hell. Most of you struggle with suicide and cutting and I’m stuck with sleepless nights full of fear an torment. I’m happy. I’ve been sucked up by depression and spit out by suicide. Cutting didn’t give me the help I needed so I left. I’m not going back. I refuse to go back. My breathing shallows and I become more and more afraid of leaving this world before I complete one of my tasks. Anxiety hasn’t let go of my wrist and it hurts.. It hurts so bad. I can’t over power him.. I’m […]
I feel like everythingis just on its way out. I had to move in with family because my hours got cut, im on the verge of an ending relationship, because my girlfriend and i are both in debt and i feel like im the only one trying to get out of this hole.
I cant even have an enjoyable conversation with anyone because im just not interested in the simple things that most are. Im a techy, a nerd, a gamer, whatever you want to call it, and theres no one really around here that i can have intilectual conversations with, about the things i […]
There’s a voice in my head i never can ignore.
I hear it every single day, and right now it seems like i want to hear it more.
It sounds appealing to my ears because my soul is gone.
I wish that i could draw closer cause it’s a sweet song.
It calls my name day and night like it is next to me.
And i can almost feel it cause this pain is stuck inside of me.
I swear that one day I’ll pull the trigger to escape this trap.
So i can stop breathing while i take a never ending nap.
Nightmares stay […]
And that’s being a fucking failure. I failed this semester. Couldn’t graduate. My parents won’t talk to me… even though I left them messages saying I felt awful and suicidal. I don’t have any friends, they’re really all I have. If they don’t give a fuck about me, who do I have? I bought a ton of dope last night, with intention to overdose and die. I was so fucking close. I woke up on my floor all disorientated, my limbs all numb because of the way I was laying on them for so long when I passed out… I FAILED AGAIN!!! I can’t even […]
Im done. I just dont have the courage to end it and it frustrates me. I am just numb to the world and every day that passes just makes me feel less human and more numb. I am lonely but seem stuck this way as i seem unable to connect to anyone even at the most basic level. Socializing seems so foreign, it feels fake. I am tired. I was raised catholic and any faith i had has long since eroded. I wish it were just this one thing but it is not. It is a million tiny little things that just tells me i […]
I believe i married the wrong boy. I hate his fucking guts. He is such an asswhole with no regard for anyones feelings but his own. I want to leave him but im stuck. only other option is to die kill myself leaving behind a beautiful baby. Why stay with him is the question i ask myself. I fucking hate this guy. Stupid dick. I wish i had the balls eboygh to completely exit frim this shitty earth. Buuuuuut no im a big fat scardy cat. This is bullshit.
I’ve been suffering from the disease of depression for a while- my brother had it, my mom had it, and now I have it. More than once have I contemplated my suicide- I’m worthless, unattractive, stupid, mean, unloved, and pathetic. However, I have tried and tried and tried to look for ways to do it and I always come up without an answer. Clearly for me, the best way to go is consumption of pills- there are plenty of those in my house. However, I have heard of liver failures and such, and I’m so afraid that dying will be painful. I don’t want to […]
She don’t even remember yo birthday!!That person that used to be crying In the restroom cutting himself 30+ cuts,thats the old you.That person that tried to kill himself two times Is the old you.Now,now she don’t even remember yo birthday.People come & go but success stays with you as long as your willing to do your part.Work hard so that no one & I mean no one can take that away from you!!Its only the beginning of your young life & were all happy that you stuck around to experience It.
I’ve spent my entire life trying to figure out what I want to do for a living. I think I’ve got a lead on something that seems right. It would allow me to work from home, part time, and I could make three times what I make now. If I can actually do it.
I’ve been stuck in a fast food job for almost a decade.
I wanted to sing or write, and now I do nothing. I have this weird brain fog thing, so nothing even looks real. I have snow vision. I get angry at my child all the time.
Nothing at all makes me happy.
And […]
I’ve always had a gut feeling of dying young. I’ve had a reoccurring dream since I was 4 of it.
I’m chronically ill. I’m a sophomore in high school, though I’m home schooled. No one cared when I left. No texts, or are you okays. I’m stuck here alone, sometimes with him. My mom hates me for the bills and because her boyfriend doesn’t like me.
I want to die.. I want to die pretty and happy, in my best dress and my makeup done. I want to die… but the only one I love will hate me for making him go to my funeral..
…. Funny when […]
I had a strange and morbid fascination the other night concerning a documentary I watched a few years ago…called “The Bridge” and it chronicles suicides from the Golden Gate Bridge. It’s hard to watch; haunting; very sad. What really spoke to me was the story of Kevin Hines, who actually survived the jump. Once he leaped, he was suddenly struck with the realization that he wanted to LIVE and changed his mind mid-air. And that’s what really haunts me…what if once you pull the trigger, or hoist the rope or leap off…what if in that very moment you decide that you don’t want to die […]
This song really shows me how important you mean to me. You trust me with everything and maybe that’s the reason I am pushing you away. I care to much about you to let you be stuck in my screwed up life. I don’t think words describe how thankful I am that you have come into my life. This past weeks been hell, but everyday I looked for you and knew you’d always be there for me. You are the reason I am still here this year. I’ve wanted to end it many times but because of you I didn’t. You broke my walls down […]
My life is a constant struggle for mediocrity. I feel like Sisyphus in a way. I constantly struggle to achieve anything in my life… but it never amounts to anything.
No matter how hard I try and scrabble out from under the rubble, it’s like my fingers get smacked down by a shovel, or run over by a mower… I can never dig my way out, never get free.
But at the same time, I can’t just do nothing either… if I just don’t try, I get burred down, covered more and more. Suffocating me until I have no choice but to suffocate or to lash out […]
While my name is Jonas i constantly feel like Jonah from the bible. Stuck in a whale and i try praying but i always find that when i think I’m out it was just mania. My parents never listen to what i say. I think maybe i should be homeless at the shelter just to avoid my triggers. They think I’m tripping on drugs, and i am heavily addicted to DXM. I can’t smoke weed because I’m on probation. Because of me being a fool and hitting my ex for cheating on me. I’ve lost myself and all sense of reality. My family doesn’t believe […]
Things I tell myself on a daily basis..
They probably think you’re so stupid
They think you’re a joke
Why are you like this
Why can’t you be something the can be proud of
Why can’t you do anything right
You never fail at disappointing people
You created this whole shit fest of a life that you’re stuck in
Lay down and wither away
Don’t cry.. Do not cry
You’re such a fucking coward
You could never possibly be good enough to be likeable
You have never and will never finish anything because you fail
You will never truly be worth someone’s time
You are nothing..
Rot […]
I have been stuck here for 15 years. I have parents that are very old fashioned, but lately have been slacking up with my brother (5 years younger than me) and it is pissing me off. He has turned into a sneaky brat. And my parents thing I’M the disrespectful one. No, but the two of us shouldn’t have the same rules. They smother me and I am not allowed to go out. Oh, and I weigh 90llbs and want to weigh 80. So I basically just want me and my boyfriend to move away into the forest with our guns, horses, and no food […]
I’ve been so busy I haven’t had time to be depressed or sad and then we got an ice storm and I got stuck at home and my grandma passed away and now I’m crying my eyes out. We won’t be able to go to Kansas for the funeral and it breaks my heart knowing that I’ll never see her again…